Is it unreasonable for me to be this upset?

[Jeebo5021]

I'm probably going through one of the worst times of my life at the moment.

I'm having to leave a job I have loved for the past 14 years due to unethical treatment of myself. I had credit taken away from two major projects that I accomplished, then basically got told that I didn't deserve credit in the first place. Though these were problems that had nothing done about them for months, one I proved that hadn't had action for 2 years.
After making the decision to try my damndest to get a different job and get out, I was so fucking overwhelmed. Almost half my life in a job that I got awards for, that I really succeeded in. But I can't let it slide. If I stayed, I also wouldn't be able to live with myself. At the same time, it's hard to live with the situation. The whole situation is really isolating, since so many people just shrugged their shoulders and said that's the way it is. Managers can be like that, managers can be stubborn and harsh.

I feel lost, like I don't belong in this world. Like it would feel so good to leave since I upset everyone. Since everyone wants to change me, make me something I'm not.

 

[affirmatice]

I would say personally. There's not really such thing as an overreaction (ok maybe sometimes there is).

But you can't help how you feel about something. And it's unfair for someone to tell you that it's not a big deal.

It seems that you have been at this job for a while and probably tie a lot of your identity to it. So when this situation occurred, did it make you question your identity or worth?

That's actually a very common cause for depression and even CTB. Many cases of people who have left this Earth because they suddenly lost their career or something else they poured their life into suddenly came crashing down.

Of course, my recommendation would be to seek help first. Talk to a therapist or close ones about this. See if there is a path to take that makes sense to you.

 

[Deviisdreaming-]

14 years is a very long time and you have every right to feel upset. I'm sorry that people are so unemphatic and selfish about it. There's still a chance you may find a career you like just as or almost as much as this one. I wish you luck on your search.

 

[r0m4nti_b0n3s]

taI'm probably going through one of the worst times of my life at the moment.

I'm having to leave a job I have loved for the past 14 years due to unethical treatment of myself. I had credit taken away from two major projects that I accomplished, then basically got told that I didn't deserve credit in the first place. Though these were problems that had nothing done about them for months, one I proved that hadn't had action for 2 years.
After making the decision to try my damndest to get a different job and get out, I was so fucking overwhelmed. Almost half my life in a job that I got awards for, that I really succeeded in. But I can't let it slide. If I stayed, I also wouldn't be able to live with myself. At the same time, it's hard to live with the situation. The whole situation is really isolating, since so many people just shrugged their shoulders and said that's the way it is. Managers can be like that, managers can be stubborn and harsh.

I feel lost, like I don't belong in this world. Like it would feel so good to leave since I upset everyone. Since everyone wants to change me, make me something I'm not.

Everything you're feeling is absolutely validated, though I whole heartedly believe you shouldn't have been treated that way. No matter the circumstance, the way credit was tooken from you is ridiculous and no one has the right reasons to treat you that way. Literally Fuck how everyone else feels if they don't like what you do then that's their problem, they should mind their business and grow up. It's completely okay to feel lost, I feel that way all the time. I say look for something small you appreciate or look foward to in this messed up word, and if you don't have any hobby or such. start by visiting a park or someplace quiet, maybe a museum. I sincerely wish you the best. <3

 

[Jeebo5021]

Thank you so much.
Wow, affirmatice, I hadn't thought of that. Yes I do tie a lot of my identity to it. It's a job I was very successful in with the customers. At a job interview lately, I had about 10 testimonials from customers and two award nominations. And yes, it did make me question my worth as well. Actually I felt absolutely worthless, still do. Like a worthless nuisance.
But I put a lot of effort into all I do. Stand by what I say and act on it. Otherwise, you are a fake.
Plus there is the fact that my Father died last year and I was his carer. Proud to be his carer in fact. So that's another part of my identity gone.
I have talked to friends from outside of work and a therapist. They all saw that they my current workplace doesn't appreciate my way of thinking and I embarrassed the higher ups by showing that things can be solved easily. So I proved them wrong. Proved all those people wrong that say that sometimes problems can't be solved.
I'm lucky I still have friends, even some in the workplace who think what happened is unfair.
I do have a lot in life r0m4nti_b0n3s. Nice house, lots of financial savings, collections of video games. At the same time this shit has really hit me for six, considering the way I've been treated at work this year, is like I don't matter. I realise that you shouldn't place your worth in whatever people think and go by it's just a job, it's just stupid management being stupid. Easier said than done though. Sometimes.... shit matters to people.

 

[kotonearisato]

Not at all an over reaction. I've felt the same about jobs I haven't cared about even half as much as this. I think that added betrayal of how long you've enjoyed your work there only to be treated like this would make a lot of people feel lost. As others mentioned, jobs that we love become part of our identities, especially after so many years. Not only does it feel uncomfortable and isolating to suddenly have to go back into the job market, but you're also losing a core part of your day to day routine.

It sounds like even outside of that with your father's passing - I'm sorry, by the way, that is never easy - there's been a lot of sudden, large shifts in your life. Please give yourself some grace and allow yourself to feel however you do. None of what you've said is "wrong", or even that far outside the normal reactions people expect, so please don't beat yourself up for that. I'm wishing you the best going forward, I hope things even out for you sooner rather than later.

 

[Jeebo5021]

Thanks kotonearisat!
One of the hardest things has been, people at work saying "I should shift my focus" or "be more resilient", "talk to even more people outside of work". It makes me wonder how they would do in this situation. Solving problems and working hard being diplomatic, and negotiating for an outcome that helps everyone, then getting told to sit down and shut up, that I piss people off. All the while being told that aggressive managers get things done.
Thank you for not invalidating what I'm feeling. I do feel trapped since I was placed in a no win situation. In the end, there was a communications meeting booked, where I had to justify my actions with solving the problems I did. Others would be forced to defend me and I definitely got the impression that they weren't relishing that. They pretty much admitted it. So can't count on their support. Just goes to show that management is something to be feared, not our equals, power corrupts and overrules. People in positions of power can make life hell and get away with it.
It's been 6 weeks that things have been this severe, a few months that things have been steadily getting more crap.
Most isolating thing is not having much support and so many people who don't even try to understand my position despite everything. I would have tried to catch the bus already if I hadn't checked all the methods on this site and realized that all my available options risk permanent damage instead of death.