Is it selfish to tell my ex-girlfriend about my CTB?

[spiritus]

I have no one in this life. Before I leave I want to talk to someone who once loved me. Even though my death has nothing to do with her, would talking to her cause psychological burden or trauma on her? I don't want to do her any harm, but I really want to say goodbye.

 

[Enlighten]

I have had similar thoughts. I'm pretty sure it does more harm than good for her as you put her in a situation where she could've still done something to prevent your suicide.

 

[manuel1056x]

Hey, I'm really sorry about what you're going through. I understand that you want to say goodbye and be honest with her. I can only tell you my opinion..
I don't really tell anyone how I feel and what I'm up to because I don't want to implicate anyone, if others know about suicide then they have a responsibility. I would never wish for such responsibility. Neither do the others. .
I would suggest it cautiously. It's best not to be specific. Best for her maybe. But I don't know, it depends on you situation. You will not harm her if you be honest.

That's only my opinion. I hope you will become happy

 

[SVEN]

If she tells anyone about what she will probably view as your "mental state", you'll feel betrayed, she may well feel in the future that she in some manner let you down by breaking the trust you felt for her as the only living person you wanted to share with.
If she keeps the secret you have laid on her, for the rest of her life she will carry the feeling of responsibility which you have imposed on her.
For myself, I wouldn't put anyone I once cared for in that dilemma.

 

[orphic]

I have no one in this life. Before I leave I want to talk to someone who once loved me. Even though my death has nothing to do with her, would talking to her cause psychological burden or trauma on her? I don't want to do her any harm, but I really want to say goodbye.

everyone present on this site suffers from extreme loneliness and solitude, including you. However, that shouldnt cloud your judgement as telling her that could bring you more harm than necessary. I mean she is your EXgf for a reason.

 

[todeswunsch]

Currently my ex is the only person I talk to about this.
Sometimes I feel like being selfish, but she always says that it is not a burden, and it would be worse if I CTB and never say anything to her.
She helps me a lot, I hope I'm not putting to much on her. I fear that she'll feel guilty when I CTB

 

[silentcicada]

I have had similar thoughts. I'm pretty sure it does more harm than good for her as you put her in a situation where she could've still done something to prevent your suicide.

This is the conclusion I've come to as well. I would like to tell my partner but know that he would freak out and eventually become depressed once I do CTB.

 

[february in alaska]

Do whatever you feel is best, but keep in mind there are ways to say goodbye or reach out and get some kind of closure or comfort without explicitly telling her you're going to CTB. It's tricky to dance around the actual heart of the matter but it could be something as simple as a text or getting coffee together and catching up.

 

[Adûnâi]

Currently my ex is the only person I talk to about this.
Sometimes I feel like being selfish, but she always says that it is not a burden, and it would be worse if I CTB and never say anything to her.

Wait, that's insane that such people exist! Because I too value trust and understanding above all (with a high-IQ-enough person). I personally would be hurt if someone considered me unworthy to share it - but then again, I would never try to manipulate or control a person either "for their own good".

As to the OP - honestly, if you had a relationship where she would be surprised to see you do something, then neither of you were open enough to discuss such things in the first place. I mean, let's say, you write a book, then I could reasonably predict what the sequel could potentially be. (And that's leaving aside such cases where she has forgotten you anyway.)

 

[princexhhn]

man i get you, ive been in that position before and its hard. Ive actually told my ex bf, and i imagine i put too much pressure on him because he ghosted me. communication is key, mostly. If you dont want to put anything on her, maybe dont mention ctb, mention something else wherein youd still be saying goodbye to each other, like saying you are going somewhere for a long while. just a suggestion.