Discussion Is it possible to CTB as a form of guarantee rather than... "catharsis", i guess?

[EternalAgony]

The title is vague and very difficult to understand, I am aware, I just couldn't find a better way to explain it in few words. I will try to describe my question here.

So, I assume that most, if not all suicides happen at the peak of negative emotions, right?

When a man loses so much money that he sees no way out and experiences tremendous fear and hopelessness for the future, he kills himself. (Regardless of whether or not he ever thought about killing himself before. For all you know, he could have no signs of mental illness beforehand. I'm sure these situations happen often, especially with casino losses. You could argue how that is connected to the fact that the guy might have been mentally ill, but I am hoping that my point comes across.)

When a depressed person kills themselves, it's usually because they were unable to bear their problems anymore. And that is usually due to the fact that they recently have experienced something that was very hard to deal with.

I can give many more examples, but as you may have noticed, when someone kills themselves, it's due to the fact that they are craving to end these emotions. to find release, or as I said in the title, catharsis.

Now, my question is, can someone kill themselves even if they aren't currently overwhelmed? Since it can be difficult to imagine why I am asking this, I will give my reasoning.

I know that for 6 years, I have experienced pain on monthly intervals that was great enough to push me one more step towards suicide. However, I still have not experienced anything painful enough to make me finally go through with my plan. The truth is, I probably never will. Still, that is absolutely not a reason to live for me. I always say that I am fed up with everything, yet it seems that my emotional capacity for long-term pain is a damn blackhole. It's never enough to make me end my life. I do not like this. This, to me, is not perseverance or anything of that sort. Even if it is, I do not care. I do not wish to fight for my life.

Thus, I have noticed that I will probably never have an experience that will finally trigger me into killing myself, even though a death wish has been the most important aspect of 1/3 of my life.

So, I ask this. Can a person kill themselves not because of emotions, but because of rationality and logic?

I know that if I stay alive, I will go through pain, a lot, I will also enjoy things as I am not incapable of that, however the pain will always cause anything positive in my life to not be worthwhile.

TL;DR, I want to be able to go through with my plan and successfully kill myself on a chill day when I am not really feeling immense pain. I want to know if this is possible. I want to know if i can give up on life with such action too, rather than only in my thoughts, and, kill myself without having to wait for emotions to push me into doing it.

I must not wait for inspiration anymore. I must not wait. I must not endure, I do not want to.

I want it done as soon as possible.

Please do share your thoughts and/or experiences.

I want a plausible way out.

 

[usernamesarehard]

I think it's possible, you just have to have the right mindset. I plan to ctb in November. Maybe I won't if my circumstances change, but if not, ctb is less something I'm doing because of emotions and more of something I'm doing because I told myself I would.

 

[Eriktf]

ppl kill them self all the time in psychosis but generally ppl have some kind of reason

 

[EternalAgony]

I think it's possible, you just have to have the right mindset. I plan to ctb in November. Maybe I won't if my circumstances change, but if not, ctb is less something I'm doing because of emotions and more of something I'm doing because I told myself I would.

good luck with all and may the best happen. my main problem is that i'll be ruining my family by doing this, so it's like... not ordinary... however i believe i could do it whenever if i had nobody to upset

 

[usernamesarehard]

good luck with all and may the best happen. my main problem is that i'll be ruining my family by doing this, so it's like... not ordinary... however i believe i could do it whenever if i had nobody to upset

Thank you.

I've been doing some thinking and honestly I don't think it's a completely emotionless decision. My break up with my ex was the catalyst for me being actively suicidal (instead of passively) and I think a big reason I'm going to ctb is because I can't be with him.

But sometimes I feel OK about the break up and think that when the time comes I'm just going to have to do it because I said I would that day.

 

[EternalAgony]

Thank you.

I've been doing some thinking and honestly I don't think it's a completely emotionless decision. My break up with my ex was the catalyst for me being actively suicidal (instead of passively) and I think a big reason I'm going to ctb is because I can't be with him.

But sometimes I feel OK about the break up and think that when the time comes I'm just going to have to do it because I said I would that day.

of course its not a completely emotionless decision. i'd even bet that it's never emotionless. its just like... yknow, people can go to work without any motivation, so i should be able to kms without any motivation neither. coincidentally, there actually is a motivation in both of these, which is fear. for the first one, its the fear of not having money, thus starving, and for the second, its the fear of the pain that will definitely come in the future

 

[Forever Sleep]

I also doubt that all suicides are done at the very peak of agony. I expect some people do suicide to preemtively spare themselves from the likelihood of future pain.

I think loved ones sometimes even remark that a person can appear to be getting better- even to the extent of seeming quite positive before they die. I imagine it's because they feel confident they are about to get the hell out! But, in that case, it would seem to suggest it was a decision they had settled on and, become comfortable with.

 

[Forveleth]

As we cannot know why each person kills themselves, I would hesitate to assume that every suicide is at the height of some emotion.

As for your question, I absolutely believe someone can just kill themselves because of a rational thought. I am one of those people, although I have only lived for 40 years, I consider that long enough, and I am ready to forfeit the rest of my years, because I am just on living.