akrasia

akrasia

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Feb 11, 2020
153
I know by reading the thumbnail you may think it's absurd. "How can a book make you depressed?"
Well to answer that question, I'm not sure myself. Maybe because of the fact I can relate to the topic of the book.

A few days ago I came upon a book while scrolling through social media. I was intrigued by it so I looked up the book on google, "The program".

In summary the book is about a teen suicide epidemic. A virus that affect 13-17 that makes them depressed/ commit suicide. To prevent this the government created the program where they take an infected person and erased their memory, basically erasing their depression. After 6 weeks they come back with a blank state, a fresh start.

Continuing, google has this thing where you could preview a book, so I read 2 chapters of the book. I was never a big fan of reading but this book got me hooked. As I was reading, I could feel my depressive state coming back. But, I continue to order a copy of this book on Amazon. My mind couldn't stop thinking about the book as I wait for the book to arrive. I was self harm free for a weeks until last night, I couldn't control myself.

The book arrived today and I jump right in and started reading it. The book is indeed depressing, I could feel myself falling deeper into my depression hole and I'm only on chapter 8 so far. The book is amazing, I can't lie about that! It's a dystopian romance.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Why won't you stop reading it if it's making you feel worse?"
Well the thing is, I already started reading it and it would bother me endlessly if I don't finish it. It also doesn't help that there's a whole series to this book. (6 book series) I keep telling myself I would be done after this book, hopefully that's the case.

It could entirely be because of this book that I'm depressed again or it's just my depression in general.
But let's see how this goes as I continue to read this book.
 
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Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Member
Dec 23, 2019
66
Absolutely. Speaking of certain things making you depressed, I've had some vividly depressing dreams while in throes of heroin withdrawal that really stuck to me, where it constantly gnaws at the back of my mind and sometimes even replay it constantly like some broken record. Also, I hate to admit this, but I've realized awhile back that I'm enamored by my own self woes and misery; I find myself subconsciously putting myself into situations where I grow incredibly depressed and/or make terrible life decisions that throws me further into depression. It's like a cesspool I can't get myself out of.
 
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RedDEE

RedDEE

Life sucks and then you die.
May 10, 2019
356
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows made me suicidally depressed. It's the most depressing book/movie ever. It's horrid. That shit is straight up black magic. Fuck that shit.
 

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