Is it okay to be sad to know no one genuinely cares about you ?

[StillWaiting]

Despite knowing it is not good to mention anything about depression and being sucidal on social media.
No one actually even bother to approach me to try to talk to me.
I know things like depression are sensitive topics but all I want are people who are willing to be a listening ear.
Guess I am just not worth their time.

Does anyone else also reveal to others that they have issues in life but no one bothers to approach them to offer help?

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I understand. In the past I've tried to be honest with the way I'm feeling on Social media but they don't really care on there. I tell people in my real life about how terrible I'm doing but they just make me feel more terrible and become the victim. I'm struggling with the fact that the one person who I could depend is now the same has everyone else. It's heart breaking to me. I wish I'd just ctb already. It's horrible but honestly I don't care if my family and friends suffer.

 

[StillWaiting]

I understand. In the past I've tried to be honest with the way I'm feeling on Social media but they don't really care on there. I tell people in my real life about how terrible I'm doing but they just make me feel more terrible and become the victim. I'm struggling with the fact that the one person who I could depend is now the same has everyone else. It's heart breaking to me. I wish I'd just ctb already. It's horrible but honestly I don't care if my family and friends suffer.

Same here.
I don't really have anyone I can depend on mentally. People just change topic or pretend the problem never existed whenever I try to be open about my issues.
But somehow I still hope for someone who will care for me enough to listen. Wish I can just ctb and just get over it.

 

[oopswronglife]

What it reveals about others is that most of them really only think about themselves most of the time. Ego is strong in the typical person. I don't mean arrogance sort of ego, just the self absorbed kind of ego. Even if they aren't overtly vain etc....they are in their own head 99% of the time and others are just supporting characters in their little world. YOU as a person are worth people's time. In their selfish little world NOBODY is worth much of their time. It's an indictment on them....not on your value as a person. Social media and the like magnify this because the entire point is getting attention and feedback loops. It sucks...people can often suck....but there are good and kind people....and its not a judgement of you. I know that's not solving the discomfort of that fact...but so many people believe "it has to be me".....its usually not.

 

[StillWaiting]

What it reveals about others is that most of them really only think about themselves most of the time. Ego is strong in the typical person. I don't mean arrogance sort of ego, just the self absorbed kind of ego. Even if they aren't overtly vain etc....they are in their own head 99% of the time and others are just supporting characters in their little world. YOU as a person are worth people's time. In their selfish little world NOBODY is worth much of their time. It's an indictment on them....not on your value as a person. Social media and the like magnify this because the entire point is getting attention and feedback loops. It sucks...people can often suck....but there are good and kind people....and its not a judgement of you. I know that's not solving the discomfort of that fact...but so many people believe "it has to be me".....its usually not.

Thanks for the reply.
Receiving replies from you guys mean a lot to me.
Glad that there's a place like this where expressing thoughts like this don't make me look like a loser

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Same here.
I don't really have anyone I can depend on mentally. People just change topic or pretend the problem never existed whenever I try to be open about my issues.
But somehow I still hope for someone who will care for me enough to listen. Wish I can just ctb and just get over it.

They do the same thing to me as well. I don't have hope that'll find someone to care about me unconditionally or give me a hard time. My existence is lost on this world. Someone said I care too much and I was born into the wrong family. Someone like me isn't meant to be in this hard world.

 

[woxihuanni]

Honestly, if I had my partner back, I wouldn't care if nobody was really there for me (including them). It's OK to have a light chat to ease your mind with some people, do some work with other people, and have peace in the embrace of someone, even if none of them truly cares about you. That's how most people live.

 

[Stan]

I tried to talk to a friend once about how i felt even the ctb bit. I classed him as a good friend. All I got back was 'well i hope you stick around for a bit longer'

 

[woxihuanni]

I tried to talk to a friend once about how i felt even the ctb bit. I classed him as a good friend. All I got back was 'well i hope you stick around for a bit longer'

But have you never got, 'people like you should die'? Or, 'people should not talk about, they should go and fucking do it'?

You don't have true friends like mine. :)

 

[pole]

Despite knowing it is not good to mention anything about depression and being sucidal on social media.
No one actually even bother to approach me to try to talk to me.
I know things like depression are sensitive topics but all I want are people who are willing to be a listening ear.
Guess I am just not worth their time.

Does anyone else also reveal to others that they have issues in life but no one bothers to approach them to offer help?

oddly, iv had people reach out to me on social media.

for years, iv been liking depressing stuff on twitter. depressing quotes, just everything that i can relate my pain and suffering to. and likes appear on the timelines of ur followers, which i didnt know. and i had people reach out to me, but im one of those people that really dont need an ear, or someone to talk to. i was also pushing people away at the time, so having someone wanting to talk was the opposite of what i wanted.

i also had people reach out to me irl. i worked retail, so there were a ton of days, where i wouldnt be smiling, would look depressing as hell. and had a couple people at work come up and ask me how things are and i just like broke down and poured it all out and they became my support systems.

i think the opposite, i dont think its a bad thing to mention depression on social media, whether it be directly and indirectly. i did it indirectly and had people reach out when i didnt want to.

ive gotten lucky with a good support system. best friends who want me to talk to them about it, but i cant cause im just not ready nor comfortable talking about how i feel.

obviously its about the emphasis and emotion of it. suicidal ideations isnt the best to talk about on social media. but depression and mental health and recognition and giving it spotlight has been increasing throughout the years, particularly on social media such as twitter. it also just allows people to reach out and be there for you. i definitely dont think its a bad thing to talk about how you feel and what ur going through.

the problem is how comfortable you are in doing so. and im not comfortable. but thats me? others do it, i just cant cause i dont like talking to people about myself.

were all ears again, you're as important as the next user here. if you ever need anyone to talk to, me and others are all ears. dont feel like a burden in reaching out to someone. maybe a shoulder to lean on, and a person to talk to is what that other person needs as well.

hope you find peace.

 

[HGL91]

For me, I noticed people became more self-absorbed after college, once they were living on their own, working all the time and just trying to survive day to day life. I think everyone is just too busy in adulthood to be able to help anyone outside of work or family. :/

They do the same thing to me as well. I don't have hope that'll find someone to care about me unconditionally or give me a hard time. My existence is lost on this world. Someone said I care too much and I was born into the wrong family. Someone like me isn't meant to be in this hard world.

Me too! I hate this hard world!

 

[woxihuanni]

For me, I noticed people became more self-absorbed after college, once they were living on their own, working all the time and just trying to survive day to day life. I think everyone is just too busy in adulthood to be able to help anyone outside of work or family. :/


Me too! I hate this hard world!

Precisely. That's why it is essential to build a family (have a partner).

 

[AnnaJaspers]

Of course it's okay to be sad, it's perfectly normal. Why would you think otherwise?

 

[Dawn0071111]

For me, I noticed people became more self-absorbed after college, once they were living on their own, working all the time and just trying to survive day to day life. I think everyone is just too busy in adulthood to be able to help anyone outside of work or family. :/


Me too! I hate this hard world!

I completely agree. Its not that people dont care. They just dont have time. If you are not lucky enough to have your own tribe, your shit out of luck.

 

[sadgirl2002]

You're lucky in a way. I don't want people to care about me, that way it's much easier for me. I don't really tell people about my problems, I try not to. I care too much which is why I'm still stupidly alive for his sake. I just want to end it or for someone else to just kill me out of nowhere but there's a part of me that can't bear the man I'm in love with, to be alone... even though he's gone.

 

[eve2004]

Those who don't say anything have never experienced it. Here we all have similar feelings and experiences and are open to sharing them. Most people don't know how to act or what to say or maybe are even worried they may get into something they can't get out of and it may be too much for them to handle...
sadly even my therapist and psych probably only care as long as I am sitting in their office, otherwise Im just a number and source of revenue...

 

[StillWaiting]

Those who don't say anything have never experienced it. Here we all have similar feelings and experiences and are open to sharing them. Most people don't know how to act or what to say or maybe are even worried they may get into something they can't get out of and it may be too much for them to handle...
sadly even my therapist and psych probably only care as long as I am sitting in their office, otherwise Im just a number and source of revenue...

That's what I felt when I was receiving professional treatment.
They just prescribe you medicine and see how u do with it and then you are out of the room.
Psychologist just talk about some breathing method as much as I can remember.

 

[kkatt]

Despite knowing it is not good to mention anything about depression and being sucidal on social media.
No one actually even bother to approach me to try to talk to me.
I know things like depression are sensitive topics but all I want are people who are willing to be a listening ear.
Guess I am just not worth their time.

Does anyone else also reveal to others that they have issues in life but no one bothers to approach them to offer help?

I don't believe social media is really the best place to find this kind of support. For myself and many others, it's somewhere to have some fun and keep things upbeat. My friends list does contain just a couple of closer friends who will provide a listening ear when there comes a time to moan. But I also make a point of trying to chat with them about more everyday issues too. And to be sure to take an active interest in their life too .
That's why I frequent sites like this .
I understand some people have a need to avoid exposure to negativity unless they feel prepared or it just drags them down too. That probably sounds terribly harsh ,but if I didn't have a substantial break from negativity ,I'd absolutely be gone by now .

 

[waived]

Despite knowing it is not good to mention anything about depression and being sucidal on social media.
No one actually even bother to approach me to try to talk to me.
I know things like depression are sensitive topics but all I want are people who are willing to be a listening ear.
Guess I am just not worth their time.

Does anyone else also reveal to others that they have issues in life but no one bothers to approach them to offer help?

The social seems to have suffered a catastrophic blearing. There's the valorizing of identities as caring, as allies, as the most engaged with life, but when the identity comes into contact with the situations and subjects of those topics, something other than the narrative they purchased, they don't even recognize them and recoil away. There's no value in the real thing. The topics of mental health and other disabilities, homelessness, being non-binary, w/e etc.. are gritty, unpleasant, and uncomfortable. The existence of this is hostile to the identity because it requires more than a superficial engagement with life.

 

[IsadoraBeauxdraps]

Despite knowing it is not good to mention anything about depression and being sucidal on social media.
No one actually even bother to approach me to try to talk to me.
I know things like depression are sensitive topics but all I want are people who are willing to be a listening ear.
Guess I am just not worth their time.

Does anyone else also reveal to others that they have issues in life but no one bothers to approach them to offer help?

Hi StillWaiting,
Most people are like that. They are selfish, or suffering scares them, or both. Then you become a plague man.
There are few people really compassionate and understanding.
Sometimes it might even be one of your best friends.
Three years ago, I attempted suicide. I had a friend of twenty years who had always supported me until then. After that he disappeared all of a sudden, without an explanation.
Some people just cannot imagine this kind of suffering. They end up thinking you don't respect life.
That's sad.

 

[Divine Trinity]

I would say it's something to grief over. But the reason why many, possibly most people, suicidal or not, have this feeling of alienation is because society's communal infrastructure has been systematically picked away at piece-by-piece from neoliberal austerity policies and a world-wide ideaology of unfettered capitalism.

Look at how malls are designed, and I say malls because everything from the environment to poor (usually black) neighborhoods are destroyed to construct one. Malls are hollowed spaces specifically designed for businesses to sell consumer products to the public. To generate as much profit as possible these buildings are purposefully designed to be unwelcoming and discomfortable to be at for extended periods of time, swarmed with police officers armed to the teeth constantly on surveilance so that the flow of commerce is not disrupted, in practice that means escorting poor people who don't buy anything out the building and arresting kids for petty crimes that shouldn't be illegal in the first place (like the teenager who was arrested for selling bottles of water without a vendor license). Aesthetically these places are hideous on an artistic and technical basis, from lighting all the way to the flooring it's built as bare-bones as possible. The only places designed for you to sit at are in the restuarants, which legally speaking you have to pay in order to use otherwise it's a crime.

"But if malls are so terrible, why is/was it so popular then? Doesn't the amount if traffic these places generate refute your wall of text?"

As the late George Carlin once said "Malls fuel American's two most prevelant addictions, shoppin' and eatin', especially eatin' Americans love to eat."

Malls were only popular because the only places even more hollow and uninviting than private businesses is public land. Teenage girls would spend hours on a beautiful afternoon staring through the window at some shit they can't even afford, rather than say reading at a library, exercising at a park, receiving an education at public discourse events, etc.

My point is while it's depressing that interactions with others is usually superficial and unfulfilling, what else could we expect given the current infrastructure and political goals in our society? The people perfectly mirror the environment they're raised in.

 

[Mr2005]

What it reveals about others is that most of them really only think about themselves most of the time. Ego is strong in the typical person. I don't mean arrogance sort of ego, just the self absorbed kind of ego. Even if they aren't overtly vain etc....they are in their own head 99% of the time and others are just supporting characters in their little world. YOU as a person are worth people's time. In their selfish little world NOBODY is worth much of their time. It's an indictment on them....not on your value as a person. Social media and the like magnify this because the entire point is getting attention and feedback loops. It sucks...people can often suck....but there are good and kind people....and its not a judgement of you. I know that's not solving the discomfort of that fact...but so many people believe "it has to be me".....its usually not.

It's as true here as anywhere. I know we like to think otherwise but it's simply not true. Why do we lie to ourselves to feel better? I thought we wanted to die? Or perhaps it's lack of self awareness. This is social media and it doesn't get much more self absorbed than suicidal people. It's only supportive until someones feelings get hurt. To answer the main question yeah it's ok to be sad no one cares about you but only if you care about them

 

[eve2004]

Most people i was friends with had in the passed wanted to "go for coffee" but 1) I am personally unable to make fake interaction pretend I care about anything but dying, 2) If you hang around gyms, you hear a lot of boring drama like "he said she said", who's sleeping with who, who's fault it was, who messed up what insignificant part of a workout etc... and it makes me nauseous to hear that shit. Have you not got real problems or at least positive things to say to each other? 3) i cannot pretend to be "not distressed", which I am almost 24/7. In the summer a cap and sunglasses are perfect because I go for walks alone where I'm bawling my eyes out the entire time. Surely someone might suspect but not care or know enough to intervene and thank god, I don't want them to. 4) suicidal ideation is not the kind of stuff your friends are equipped to deal with emotionally, it could go wither way.. you may distress them greatly or they will run away. Either way, thats where the support ends, on the first time you mention it. The only people who are "equipped" are mental professionals but the limitations with what you can admit hinder the healing process, thus most people give up and end up here, waiting to get their "life" /paperwork in order before CTB. Therapists and psych are just too busy to care what you do/feel outside of your session, they are busy collecting fees from other clients with mostly likely less severe symptoms and "easy to work with" people, that kind of work is usually more fulfilling for them hence they dread working with suicidal people AND IT SHOWS.

I know thats the reason i stopped being able to have any type of relationship (ie friendship, acquaintaince) no matter how deep or superficial. I just have no one in my life who understands or cares to, or has the ability to. Other than those I pay, and only for that limited timeframe that they are required to offer the service (ie the session).

I know my psych and therapist dread dealing with me. I don't talk a lot but I feel people's vibe towards me and I am rarely wrong. I don't confront them, but if they ask I'll be honest. I'm always surprised they don't think I am aware of their "charade" for lack of a better word. But that's as good as its gonna get these days, at least until CTB, then it will be a win-win-win for everyone involved in my treatment.

Sorry, I was venting! I just can't get CTB off my mind. I have one more thing to do before I CTB and the loneliness I'm feeling until then is gonna only fuel the fire...

I feel for everyone who can't have person to person interaction or relationships. This is the place that has helped me the most in THAT particular respect. I've given up on wanting to see people face to face. Come here and chat and do exactly this, create threads and express your feelings and allow others to support you. It seems its the only way.

Thank you SS for this forum...

 

[Mr2005]

Most people i was friends with had in the passed wanted to "go for coffee" but 1) I am personally unable to make fake interaction pretend I care about anything but dying, 2) If you hang around gyms, you hear a lot of boring drama like "he said she said", who's sleeping with who, who's fault it was, who messed up what insignificant part of a workout etc... and it makes me nauseous to hear that shit. Have you not got real problems or at least positive things to say to each other? 3) i cannot pretend to be "not distressed", which I am almost 24/7. In the summer a cap and sunglasses are perfect because I go for walks alone where I'm bawling my eyes out the entire time. Surely someone might suspect but not care or know enough to intervene and thank god, I don't want them to. 4) suicidal ideation is not the kind of stuff your friends are equipped to deal with emotionally, it could go wither way.. you may distress them greatly or they will run away. Either way, thats where the support ends, on the first time you mention it. The only people who are "equipped" are mental professionals but the limitations with what you can admit hinder the healing process, thus most people give up and end up here, waiting to get their "life" /paperwork in order before CTB. Therapists and psych are just too busy to care what you do/feel outside of your session, they are busy collecting fees from other clients with mostly likely less severe symptoms and "easy to work with" people, that kind of work is usually more fulfilling for them hence they dread working with suicidal people AND IT SHOWS.

I know thats the reason i stopped being able to have any type of relationship (ie friendship, acquaintaince) no matter how deep or superficial. I just have no one in my life who understands or cares to, or has the ability to. Other than those I pay, and only for that limited timeframe that they are required to offer the service (ie the session).

I know my psych and therapist dread dealing with me. I don't talk a lot but I feel people's vibe towards me and I am rarely wrong. I don't confront them, but if they ask I'll be honest. I'm always surprised they don't think I am aware of their "charade" for lack of a better word. But that's as good as its gonna get these days, at least until CTB, then it will be a win-win-win for everyone involved in my treatment.

Sorry, I was venting! I just can't get CTB off my mind. I have one more thing to do before I CTB and the loneliness I'm feeling until then is gonna only fuel the fire...

I feel for everyone who can't have person to person interaction or relationships. This is the place that has helped me the most in THAT particular respect. I've given up on wanting to see people face to face. Come here and chat and do exactly this, create threads and express your feelings and allow others to support you. It seems its the only way.

Thank you SS for this forum...

I'm glad it's helped you. Can I ask why 2004?

 

[StillWaiting]

Most people i was friends with had in the passed wanted to "go for coffee" but 1) I am personally unable to make fake interaction pretend I care about anything but dying, 2) If you hang around gyms, you hear a lot of boring drama like "he said she said", who's sleeping with who, who's fault it was, who messed up what insignificant part of a workout etc... and it makes me nauseous to hear that shit. Have you not got real problems or at least positive things to say to each other? 3) i cannot pretend to be "not distressed", which I am almost 24/7. In the summer a cap and sunglasses are perfect because I go for walks alone where I'm bawling my eyes out the entire time. Surely someone might suspect but not care or know enough to intervene and thank god, I don't want them to. 4) suicidal ideation is not the kind of stuff your friends are equipped to deal with emotionally, it could go wither way.. you may distress them greatly or they will run away. Either way, thats where the support ends, on the first time you mention it. The only people who are "equipped" are mental professionals but the limitations with what you can admit hinder the healing process, thus most people give up and end up here, waiting to get their "life" /paperwork in order before CTB. Therapists and psych are just too busy to care what you do/feel outside of your session, they are busy collecting fees from other clients with mostly likely less severe symptoms and "easy to work with" people, that kind of work is usually more fulfilling for them hence they dread working with suicidal people AND IT SHOWS.

I know thats the reason i stopped being able to have any type of relationship (ie friendship, acquaintaince) no matter how deep or superficial. I just have no one in my life who understands or cares to, or has the ability to. Other than those I pay, and only for that limited timeframe that they are required to offer the service (ie the session).

I know my psych and therapist dread dealing with me. I don't talk a lot but I feel people's vibe towards me and I am rarely wrong. I don't confront them, but if they ask I'll be honest. I'm always surprised they don't think I am aware of their "charade" for lack of a better word. But that's as good as its gonna get these days, at least until CTB, then it will be a win-win-win for everyone involved in my treatment.

Sorry, I was venting! I just can't get CTB off my mind. I have one more thing to do before I CTB and the loneliness I'm feeling until then is gonna only fuel the fire...

I feel for everyone who can't have person to person interaction or relationships. This is the place that has helped me the most in THAT particular respect. I've given up on wanting to see people face to face. Come here and chat and do exactly this, create threads and express your feelings and allow others to support you. It seems its the only way.

Thank you SS for this forum...

It is okay to vent, I guess we all need some place to vent our anger.
This is the only place where I post things and people actually bother to take time to type their replies.
I am thankful that the members in forum make this place active.
I don't have the energy anymore to make fake interaction with people but it gets really lonely when no one ever approaches you.
Part of me just cant handle the loneliness and it makes me so anxious to the point that doing simple task is impossible.

 

[eve2004]

I'm glad it's helped you. Can I ask why 2004?

Haha because "eve" was already taken. I was not born in 2004 (way before in fact) but one of my first email addresses was created in 2004 (I was late to the game...) and although I've gone through multiple addresses that don't exist anymore, this number seems to always be available when I tag it onto the username I really want...! I could go with a random arrangement of numbers but my memory is so terrible I hardly remember my cell number most of the time...!

Haha because "eve" was already taken. I was not born in 2004 (way before in fact) but one of my first email addresses was created in 2004 (I was late to the game...) and although I've gone through multiple addresses that don't exist anymore, this number seems to always be available when I tag it onto the username I really want...! I could go with a random arrangement of numbers but my memory is so terrible I hardly remember my cell number most of the time...!

Why 2005?
Ok last "thought"...
You can't just ask whats wrong, hear about their suicidal ideation, have a 20 minute coffee discussion and go on with your life. If you ask, you feel compelled to support and most people can't or don't want to. I can't count the number of times I've heard rumours that I was suicidal and/or anorexic (I am not anorexic) and when I see them face to face they always ask: "ARE YOU SEEING *SOMEONE*?"

ie: "I can't help you but someone should. Just not me."

 

[Mr2005]

If I'd created an email address in 2004 I wouldn't be here now. I know you don't care because you didn't ask and why should you so maybe we should stop giving others such a hard time when we do exactly the same thing. Actually I do my best to be considerate which means less caring what you think of me and more being honest for other peoples sake. It's mainly so I can live with myself

 

[eve2004]

If I'd created an email address in 2004 I wouldn't be here now. I know you don't care because you didn't ask and why should you so maybe we should stop giving others such a hard time when we do exactly the same thing. Actually I do my best to be considerate which means less caring what you think of me and more being honest for other peoples sake. It's mainly so I can live with myself

I Am curious why 2005 because its so similar to mine, also why would you not be alive now had you created an address in 2004? I find it really hard to come up with usernames. I want it to be something I'll remember, that's available of course, and reveals a bit about myself but I only usually get to satisfy the first two criteria.

***So, why 2005, Mister?***
PS I did ask, it got lost in the way the forum "edits" and tags on your posts instead of creating new ones.

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah I noticed. Did the hypocrisy occur to you last minute ;) It's ok if we could all just laugh at ourselves. It's that or cry. I'll do what I can now but I'll always be a piece of garbage. Wanted plastic surgery before my eighteenth birthday but didn't do anything to get it. Didn't want to grow up, relied on parents. They did nothing but take me to therapists which I went along with. Not until 2010 did I panic and take responsibility but it wasn't for plastic surgery it was to go back in time. Naturally that wasted more time and here I am in 2019. Still never asked about plastic surgery on a forum. Unbelievable and unforgivable. You don't have to tell me I know and you don't have to be sympathetic, I don't deserve it

 

[eve2004]

Yeah I noticed. Did the hypocrisy occur to you last minute ;) It's ok if we could all just laugh at ourselves. It's that or cry. I'll do what I can now but I'll always be a piece of garbage. Wanted plastic surgery before my eighteenth birthday but didn't do anything to get it. Didn't want to grow up, relied on parents. They did nothing but take me to therapists which I went along with. Not until 2010 did I panic and take responsibility but it wasn't for plastic surgery it was to go back in time. Naturally that wasted more time and here I am in 2019. Still never asked about plastic surgery on a forum. Unbelievable and unforgivable. You don't have to tell me I know and you don't have to be sympathetic, I don't deserve it

Mister, you deserve it. I'm sympathetic because while I cannot relate to YOUR specific pain, I can relate to pain. I have no one else to speak to honestly so I doubt you do also. If we (anyone here) can support each other, we should definitely accept it. For most of us there's no where else to go. You don't need to trust anyone right off the bat, but over time I have come to feel more comfortable and it's helped me cope. So I hope you can slowly find your place here. Take your time, go at your own pace. I'm not easily insulted, so feel free to vent to me here or in PM, I also feel anger, frustration, shame, desperation. It's good to let it out. I won't take it personally of you do. And if you do, I hope you feel even a tiny bit better.