Venting is it dumb if I want to hurt myself over something dumb

[stoppingby]

I don't have many friends. my best friend is a guy that led me on for years and abused me at certain points, but he's been a much better friend in the last couple months. he just told me he had other obligations on my birthday though, when I thought we already had plans that he conveniently forgot about. I've certainly done my part of fucking things up and crying to him that it's all cancelled now even though he changed his mind and said he could make it work. I just want to burn myself now. I don't know why, maybe to feel something, make him feel bad, pass the time, maybe a bit of everything. god, is this really what my life has come to? I'm in dbt, not really in the mood to use my skills rn though. sorry if this type of post isn't allowed or is annoying or something, I don't know, I just can't keep sitting here alone with myself and my thoughts. I feel like I ruin everything.

 

[Seven Threads]

Hey there, stoppingby. Sounds like you're in a bit of a rough spot right now. I think anyone probably would be under the circumstances. Getting shafted on your birthday is awful, and I'm very sorry that you're going through that.

Let me start by clearing something up. Yes, this kind of post is absolutely allowed. And no, it isn't annoying. Part of the reason this site exists is because too many people have been made to feel like they're annoying, whiny, or problematic whenever they express their needs or frustrations. It's a real problem, and we try to stay far, far away from that mentality here. Don't ever feel like you can't come on and just post about how awful something is. The venting tag exists for a reason.

Second, I wouldn't worry too much about whether your reasons for wanting to hurt yourself are dumb or not. You're human, and half of being human is contending with the reality that we're all very, very dumb most of the time. Pretty much all of us have to sit on top of this pile of urges and feelings and irrational responses to things, and we're asked to just make do and sort them out as best we can. Is it a little dumb to want to hurt yourself over something like this? It could be. But even if it is, you should be allowed to -be- that, because you're the one in the position of having to sort out all these feelings that all too often don't even make sense.

I know it's so, so easy to just feel like you're doing something wrong or you're ruining things or you're stupid somehow. But you're doing the best you know how to handle circumstances that are frankly overwhelming. Try not to crucify yourself over it, there's nothing wrong with reacting to the world the way you are right now. It's just human.

 

[stoppingby]

Hey there, stoppingby. Sounds like you're in a bit of a rough spot right now. I think anyone probably would be under the circumstances. Getting shafted on your birthday is awful, and I'm very sorry that you're going through that.

Let me start by clearing something up. Yes, this kind of post is absolutely allowed. And no, it isn't annoying. Part of the reason this site exists is because too many people have been made to feel like they're annoying, whiny, or problematic whenever they express their needs or frustrations. It's a real problem, and we try to stay far, far away from that mentality here. Don't ever feel like you can't come on and just post about how awful something is. The venting tag exists for a reason.

Second, I wouldn't worry too much about whether your reasons for wanting to hurt yourself are dumb or not. You're human, and half of being human is contending with the reality that we're all very, very dumb most of the time. Pretty much all of us have to sit on top of this pile of urges and feelings and irrational responses to things, and we're asked to just make do and sort them out as best we can. Is it a little dumb to want to hurt yourself over something like this? It could be. But even if it is, you should be allowed to -be- that, because you're the one in the position of having to sort out all these feelings that all too often don't even make sense.

I know it's so, so easy to just feel like you're doing something wrong or you're ruining things or you're stupid somehow. But you're doing the best you know how to handle circumstances that are frankly overwhelming. Try not to crucify yourself over it, there's nothing wrong with reacting to the world the way you are right now. It's just human.

it's difficult for me to say how much I appreciate your reply. thank you, deeply. it's been a minute since I've felt this understood.

 

[Seven Threads]

it's difficult for me to say how much I appreciate your reply. thank you, deeply. it's been a minute since I've felt this understood.

I'm happy to hear that. I think you'll find this community to be fairly understanding. Most people here know how it is. Stick around for a little while, and you'll probably find a few people who've been through some of the same things.

In any case, welcome to the forum. :)

 

[FuneralCry]

So many humans really are so cruel in this world, it's true that you cannot rely on other people and it's for the best not to be too trusting of them in my opinion. That person doesn't sound like a friend. And I guess that after all if people want to self harm then that's their decision.

 

[Nights]

No, it isn't dumb, while the reasons that can led you to suffer might seem weird for certain people you're the only one that understands yourself better than anyone in this world, suffering is a enough reason to suicide regardless of the reasons that led you to suffer, personally i think self-harm is a result of self-hate and some people finds some sort of peace through retribution on yourself, or you're just unable to feel things and you just want to feel something even through self-harm, this decision is personal

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Relying on other people always leads to disappointment and yeah I learned this the hard way - do not trust anybody especially "friends" when it comes to your business or personal issues go to forums it's better as you will be anonymous there as "friends" will try to use it against you and hurt you. I will not miss any humans once I cease to exist and no i try to limit my interactions with humans now because they suck. Too many cruel people and they will justify their behaviour as you being "deserving" of being on the receiving end of their endless cruelty because of their own lies and manipulation manifested in their own heads. One thing is I always had this " friend" who would do things I didn't like and he would always comes back apologising and wanting our "friendship" back truly I regret ever being "friends" with him and being "friends" with has been my biggest regret and misfortune in life. I feel so embarrassed and angry with myself that I even considered him a "friend" at one point…. I truly hate him to the core, I should have listened to his aunt in 2011 who told me to stay away from him and his brothers as they are trouble. He is a "curse" and that "curse" can only be lifted once I leave this world.