Is it dangerous to meet someone at their home on a second date?

[noname223]

I am a man. I think this information is important.
The first date with this autistic woman was a walk in the nature. She drove me in her car. But actually I didnt know shit about her. I am a man and theoretically stronger than her. I have doubts in that though. Lol. I literally exercise never.

The seond meeting was at her home. And I had the feeling this might be unsafe. I still did it. Two friends of her were invited and one of them seemed to be an aggressive sociopath. He attacked me verbally and I had the feeling he could easily become violent. There would have been two women and a sociopath against me in case the argument escalated.

I know maybe this is overanxious analysis. But honestly I think mostly for the reason I am a man. I experienced so much abuse in my life. I think if I were a woman people already would have tried to rape me. I was abused in different ways though.

Usually I am very careful and the risk wasn't high. I did not want that the argument escalates. But in the back of my mind I thought this would be 3 people against me. And well she could have locked the door without me noticing it.

Do you think this is overanxious or is it rational to think about it in such a way?

I told my mom where I was. And I had my phone with me. But the apartment was really difficult to find.

 

[CatLvr]

Man, for me that is a very loaded question. Given my experiences going ANYWHERE that is not a public place (or getting in someone else's car) is a recipe for disaster. Me now would NEVER do some of the things me THEN thought nothing about.

 

[noname223]

Man, for me that is a very loaded question. Given my experiences going ANYWHERE that is not a public place (or getting in someone else's car) is a recipe for disaster. Me now would NEVER do some of the things me THEN thought nothing about.

Are you male or female?

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Yes it's pretty normal to think about, women are not a monolith, maybe that woman is all right but given her sociopath friend... I don't know what to say; why was he getting aggressive?

 

[starryend]

I think it's definitely too dangerous to go into someone's home on a second date. It sucks you had to go through something like that.

 

[Seneca65AD]

Just my opinion obviously, but trust your feelings. If something "feels" off, then there is usually a reason for the feeling. Now that I am older with a wife and daughter, I do way more risk assessments than I used to. So, look at it this way - if you are right about the threats and you don't go to the house, then you are safe. If your feelings about the threats are wrong and you don't go the house, then you are still safe. Remember the old saying - "even paranoids have enemies".

 

[noname223]

Yes it's pretty normal to think about, women are not a monolith, maybe that woman is all right but given her sociopath friend... I don't know what to say; why was he getting aggressive?

Here I summed it up in a thread. I think he was angry because he dated that woman in the past and considered me an enemy hence.

Processing the insane, second meeting with this very progressive, liberal autistic woman

The first meeting was great. We were not fully on the same side always but it was an amazing conversation for both of us. Yesterday, was the second meeting she invited two autistic friends. The first was a friendly woman. No problems. I learned she dated her. The second person was an allegedly...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[astr4]

i mean it's dangerous sure but heck i've done it on first dates/hookups so like ymmv

i think when people normally talk about the danger they mean more sexual assault than murder but idk? like if ur okay having sex then you would only need to worry about the murder part and i feel like the chances of that are so slim idk

unless you think there's a chance she's a serial killer i would assume you're safe but idk! also depends how much danger you're willing to tolerate i guess

 

[Dejected 55]

There can be a fine line between people you can trust and people you shouldn't. It is really hard to tell anymore because bad people are good at hiding things and many of us have trouble "reading" people. Then there's the truth that IF you never trust anyone you will never find anything positive and people will eventually berate you and blame you for not being "out there" and trusting enough... but if you trust the wrong people, you can be hurt... emotionally and physically... and while the statistics usually back-up that women are more vulnerable to this than men... men get abducted, abused, etc. too. Also, many men are reluctant to report being abused because most people think men should be able to take care of themselves, not need help, and shouldn't complain as that shows signs of weakness. Women often don't report because they fear not being believed OR, worse, being believed but then nothing is done about it.

Lots of horrible people in the world, and even the "good" people might not help if you run into a bad one... so often you kind of just have yourself to depend on and that's it.

It's tough to decide risk vs reward, especially if you tend to get hurt a lot... either you're trusting the wrong people OR you're in an area with a lot of untrustworthy people who are good ad obscuring their intentions. However you slice it, you have to trust to get anything in life... but you have to accept that you're going to get hurt a lot more than you're going to find good. That just seems to be the nature of the world, as depressing as that can be.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Here I summed it up in a thread. I think he was angry because he dated that woman in the past and considered me an enemy hence.

Processing the insane, second meeting with this very progressive, liberal autistic woman

The first meeting was great. We were not fully on the same side always but it was an amazing conversation for both of us. Yesterday, was the second meeting she invited two autistic friends. The first was a friendly woman. No problems. I learned she dated her. The second person was an allegedly...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I suspected that, why does she still keep in contact? Unironically, it's not your job but autism doesn't excuse whatever the fuck that piece of shit is and it wouldn't surprise me if he ends up raping her or abusing her, he needs to go from her friend circle ASAP and you need to asses whether it's worth to talk about this with her or not, your morals, I would talk about it personally.

If she doesn't realise this as you described that she doesn't like him being called a sociopath, I don't know man, just look at alcoholics, I tried to help them, many times, alcohol took a part of them, how the fuck should I go about it? Like don't emotionally invest yourself into this, she seems to be immature and has an ego, how can she not see her friend, idk. I originally imagine her as someone who might be shy to make new friends as I was but it seems that she is WELL AWARE, too aware in fact.

(finished reading the thing here, the rest is written before reading the whole thing) I would nope out of there, like idk, it's not your job to protect that person regardless, I wish we could help these people and not saying anything bad will happen, hope nothing bad happens to your friend but with her autistic man sociopath friend, it's likely to happen. I get it, I'm all for healing trauma, I'm all for preventing insane people from leeching or abusing others but if the change won't come from within, I'd check myself out of there. personally. you can help people who are ready to receive help, spend time with them, not that person, she might have trauma from her brother/father, whatever male shitty figure she had in her life and might have abused her, this shit happens everyday EDIT: but she is embracing the trauma and her shitty friend, you literally can't help these people, I've seen sex workers do a 360 and realise the abuse they were put through, ONLY ON THEIR OWN, they were told by DOZENS OF WOMEN, only when THEY THEMSELVES realised, they were ready to admit; this is for ALL types of trauma and abuse, you can give her an advice or opinion but only she can change.

You can't sacrifice your life for this person, they don't seem willing to change at this point and you being there only agitates that sociopath further, I would check out, genuinely if someone has a better idea, go for it and call me an idiot but unless you read minds, you can't change some people.

 

[leftoperish]

Yooooooo it's like this forum reads my mind a lot. I literally just walked my girl to her uber and came back right here to complete a reply on a different thread. But I don't think it is tho. It's funny how women thing we both took coding to get elated and wait for the torture of the come down. My ding done was not able to rise and i felt she may think i have an erectal dysfunction but I plaed it cool cause we've has sex 3 times on the first day we met on a couch. Although I'm a bit worried cause i went to rehab voluntarily and even paid out of pocket for a month of rehabilitation, but this girl makes me want to do codeine (not forcefully but her presence makes me want to do drugs) and she gets angry when she takes it and get irritable it really spoiled my mood also cause she's on a downer and Loki fucks me up with an attitude cause I'm also agitated and angry when i take it too, so yeah a second date in her place may be a bad idea. A woman is meant come to your place cause you're the dominant one else she'll start to lose all the values she observed from you and take you as a simp she can control. Also if she's a well learned, smart and genuinely simple type of girl then it may not be a problem, but it all depends on the type of person and their character, so it may sound like a joke, but you have to use the Uno reverse on her and tell her to come to yours, even if yours is a shit hole which I hope does not offend you cause it is just an example. I'm sure you are well situated also for you to be here so just analyze the girl and see if she can come to yours cause like I said, even if it is a shit hole which I do not believe if she comes over then you know she is the one and try not to share too much secrets cause you seem like a lover so don't get used that's all I have to say women are totally different from a man. They do not apply logic in any faucet of life even the ones that are in high positions like a female president. They will always be a man behind her, making the calls hope this was not confusing, but that's my own two cents on it.


She just called so that is even why my answer took long to post I do like her, but I have PTSD from love so I always make sure I never share my full self but when I'm on drugs, I do which I would like to stop cause once I decide to CTB I would know I lived life myselfI didn't share with anyone anymore. It reduced the hurt but also the hurt of not having them around because I don't trust anymore. It's a peaceful life but a sad one let's be honest everybody needs a woman I feel it is what drives a lot of us to decide to CTB, after the hurt they gave so try not to share too much even the richest, handsome, ugly, or mentally unstable. Live their lives for women every single human, we work so hard because we regard women as gods, hope this makes sense and hope this helps you Godspeed my brother we will get there but don't go to ours. I repeat again in. DON'T go to hers she should come to yours place brother wagwan Alaykum Alaykum Wagwan. One more thing do not be offended about referring to your place as a shit hole but I use that analogy to tell you if a girl really likes you she wouldn't mind. and she would come over (lol no rhymes intended, but you have told me that was a cool line, and line still rhymes on fire today lol scratch that LMFAO,) good luck.

 

[fadedghost]

I am a man. I think this information is important.
The first date with this autistic woman was a walk in the nature. She drove me in her car. But actually I didnt know shit about her. I am a man and theoretically stronger than her. I have doubts in that though. Lol. I literally exercise never.

The seond meeting was at her home. And I had the feeling this might be unsafe. I still did it. Two friends of her were invited and one of them seemed to be an aggressive sociopath. He attacked me verbally and I had the feeling he could easily become violent. There would have been two women and a sociopath against me in case the argument escalated.

I know maybe this is overanxious analysis. But honestly I think mostly for the reason I am a man. I experienced so much abuse in my life. I think if I were a woman people already would have tried to rape me. I was abused in different ways though.

Usually I am very careful and the risk wasn't high. I did not want that the argument escalates. But in the back of my mind I thought this would be 3 people against me. And well she could have locked the door without me noticing it.

Do you think this is overanxious or is it rational to think about it in such a way?

I told my mom where I was. And I had my phone with me. But the apartment was really difficult to find.

it's more likely than not irrational

there's no indication they planned to hurt you

one friend is supposedly an aggressive sociopath, but you aren't providing evidence of violence. a lot of guys can be alpha male jerks and social dynamics are difficult. he may not have liked you, he may have dated her, he may have been protective of her, or it may be that he liked her being available but doesn't want to date her, like she's a backup female in his mind (i would not share this with him or anyone).

in a situation like that, you just pretend you got a text from a friend having an urgent issue and leave and you make sure that guy isn't there if you hang out with her again, specifically saying you will leave immediately if he's there, that you don't do petty aggro arguments with people you just met. if she gives any pushback, that's when you exit and ghost, but she doesn't have control over that guy and she may regret having him there

so i'm going with overanxious and irrational!

 

[leftoperish]

Yooooooo it's like this forum reads my mind a lot. I literally just walked my girl to her uber and came back right here to complete a reply on a different thread. But I don't think it is tho. It's funny how women thing we both took codeine to get elated and wait for the torture of the come down. My ding done was not able to rise and i felt she may think i have an erectile dysfunction but I plaed it cool cause we've has sex 3 times on the first day we F##ed on a couch. Although I'm a bit worried cause i went to rehab voluntarily and even paid out of pocket for a month of rehabilitation, but this girl makes me want to do codeine (not forcefully but her presence makes me want to do drugs) and she gets angry when she takes it and get irritable it really spoiled my mood also cause she's on a downer and Loki fucks me up with an attitude cause I'm also agitated and angry when i take it too, so yeah a second date in her place may be a bad idea. A woman is meant come to your place cause you're the dominant one else she'll start to lose all the values she observed from you and take you as a simp she can control. Also if she's a well learned, smart and genuinely simple type of girl then it may not be a problem, but it all depends on the type of person and their character, so it may sound like a joke, but you have to use the Uno reverse on her and tell her to come to yours, even if yours is a shit hole which I hope does not offend you cause it is just an example. I'm sure you are well situated also for you to be here so just analyze the girl and see if she can come to yours cause like I said, even if it is a shit hole which I do not believe if she comes over then you know she is the one and try not to share too much secrets cause you seem like a lover so don't get used that's all I have to say women are totally different from a man. They do not apply logic in any faucet of life even the ones that are in high positions like a female president. They will always be a man behind her, making the calls hope this was not confusing, but that's my own two cents on it.


She just called so that is even why my answer took long to post I do like her, but I have PTSD from love so I always make sure I never share my full self but when I'm on drugs, I do which I would like to stop cause once I decide to CTB I would know I lived life myselfI didn't share with anyone anymore. It reduced the hurt but also the hurt of not having them around because I don't trust anymore. It's a peaceful life but a sad one let's be honest everybody needs a woman I feel it is what drives a lot of us to decide to CTB, after the hurt they gave so try not to share too much even the richest, handsome, ugly, or mentally unstable. Live their lives for women every single human, we work so hard because we regard women as gods, hope this makes sense and hope this helps you Godspeed my brother we will get there but don't go to ours. I repeat again in. DON'T go to hers she should come to yours place brother wagwan Alaykum Alaykum Wagwan. One more thing do not be offended about referring to your place as a shit hole but I use that analogy to tell you if a girl really likes you she wouldn't mind. and she would come over (lol no rhymes intended, but you have told me that was a cool line, and line still rhymes on fire today lol scratch that LMFAO,) good luck.