Is it better to notify long distance friends or go without saying anything?

[ouvreyes]

Will likely be going soon, and have been thinking about who I'm leaving behind. Right now, essentially everyone I talk to I do so online, and are people that would never know I'm dead unless I go out of my way to notify them somehow. The idea of randomly disappearing without a word before or after seems incredibly cruel, but I feel like giving them knowledge that I killed myself may be worse. Or not. I don't know. That's why I'm here. Of course it depends on a lot about the person and relationship, but I thought a second or third opinion on the question in general might help.

Also, it's probably worth noting that these are all the type of people that can't even imagine suicide, let alone sympathize with it. We're really only close enough that they would notice if i stopped responding entirely and permanently, and not people you'd normally talk about this kind of thing to. I don't think "traumatize" is the right word at all, but I don't wanna leave any kind of effect on them by letting them know. But, again, I still think it would be pretty horrible of me to just disappear without a word.

 

[thrwaway99]

IMO don't tell anyone. They'll get over it but at least you won't traumatize them for life.

 

[JimFord99]

Ya, it is better for them not knowing the reasons for exiting.

 

[Slate128]

They don't sound like they'll be too put out. Just make sure those you do tell have no way to prevent you from ctb (e.g. alert family).

 

[Bukmeikara1]

IMO don't tell them. What difference does it make:

1. Catch the bus without saying anything
2. Catch the bus but with sounded reasoning why you did it

Given the final outcome, it doesn't make any difference for them. It only makes you feel good that you left behind things in order which is complete bullshit given your intentions. There aren't any words from your side which would make them say "Yea man, I understand it. Go for it".

Feeling bad about leaving someone behind normally its a sign that you arent completely on board with your decision. Take your time and reconsider it. Be certain that you are doing it for the right reasons and not some ego driven ones. A lot of the failed attempts comes by the fact that in the last moment people realize that they want to live. A failed attempt without permanent damage its great but imagine if you are left with scars for your whole life? A person that I knew, jumped from 8 floor building and survived three years go. He is in a wheelchair and just recently started to make some attempts to walk. Its your life be certain that you want to end it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm not going to say anything. If they care enough they'll eventually find out on their own.

 

[Codieb1]

I have one long distance friend that I've strongly considered telling but just couldn't do it. I've given enough hints so they'll probably take a hint after I'm gone. At least they're somewhat prepared

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm not going to say anything. If they care enough they'll eventually find out on their own.

Precisely. Some of my friends are very unreliable to respond or initiate because they have their own problems or because they trust I am the sort that gets their stuff together anyway. I don't think anybody is aware that the time window they might actually talk to me about whatever can be narrow.

The hypocrisy is with the ones who would tell me I need to stay. What are you going to do if I stay? It's not like you make any use of it.

I immensely enjoy the idea that some of those fuckers will decide to return a call one day and there won't be anyone picking up. Pretty sure it will be for their own problems that I helped and helped with without begrudging so long.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Did they cared when you were alive?

 

[Wackywoo]

IMO don't tell them your going to die. Just say your going to be taking a break and might be gone for a little bit. Or you could write in your will for your friends and family to say bye to your online friends for you.

 

[lostangel]

Will likely be going soon, and have been thinking about who I'm leaving behind. Right now, essentially everyone I talk to I do so online, and are people that would never know I'm dead unless I go out of my way to notify them somehow. The idea of randomly disappearing without a word before or after seems incredibly cruel, but I feel like giving them knowledge that I killed myself may be worse. Or not. I don't know. That's why I'm here. Of course it depends on a lot about the person and relationship, but I thought a second or third opinion on the question in general might help.

Also, it's probably worth noting that these are all the type of people that can't even imagine suicide, let alone sympathize with it. We're really only close enough that they would notice if i stopped responding entirely and permanently, and not people you'd normally talk about this kind of thing to. I don't think "traumatize" is the right word at all, but I don't wanna leave any kind of effect on them by letting them know. But, again, I still think it would be pretty horrible of me to just disappear without a word.

Maybe don't tell them you're going to ctb but tell them how much you mean to them at least