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L

lovestained

dies iræ
Apr 30, 2025
53
i Don't want everyone to hate me before i die, i want the opposite . i want to hurt their Feelings .... i know its Cruel of me but they definitely aided in my decision to Ctb , so they deserve some pain if i do die . i don't think anyone would actually Care.. but a girl can dream !
 
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ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
593
I've definitely thought about CTB'ing as a sort of revenge before, the issue is that what will most likely happen is that they'll grieve for maybe a month or two and then move on. I don't want that.
 
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Cauliflour

Cauliflour

The one who doodles.
Mar 24, 2025
109
I've definitely thought about CTB'ing as a sort of revenge before, the issue is that what will most likely happen is that they'll grieve for maybe a month or two and then move on. I don't want that.
Gotta play the long game and build a really strong connection with them, and then kill yourself in such a way that they'll feel it's completely their fault for the rest of their life.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
761
No you aren't bad at all for feeling this way, especially if you have been denied proper attention and care for a while. We are social creatures (yes even our antisocial asses), so we crave recognition, affection, and attention.

Weirdly enough I find myself wanting the opposite though when I die. I don't want to hurt anyone, even people who may have wronged me. I never asked to be here, and I truly wish I could just vanish from everyone's minds and die like I never existed in the first place. Until then I can basically do my best to isolate to become a ghost before I ghost.
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Pollyanna, loon, believer in love, believer in you
Sep 19, 2023
2,068
i Don't want everyone to hate me before i die, i want the opposite . i want to hurt their Feelings .... i know its Cruel of me but they definitely aided in my decision to Ctb , so they deserve some pain if i do die . i don't think anyone would actually Care.. but a girl can dream !
Whether it's bad or not, I can't say. It's natural, and common. I've felt the same.

Here's two things: (1) suicide will hurt everyone around you, even if they'd say they hate you. They will actually care to some extent..; (2) you won't be around to witness it, of course, but I doubt it would look the way you want, speaking from my own ruminations. People you want to hurt are probably the type of people who will make your death about them and soak up sympathy for losing someone. Even if you weren't close and/or were fighting, that's just what happens.
 
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B

blkgh0xt

New Member
May 4, 2025
4
I'm in a similar boat, but i genuinely care about these people. I also have a 2 year old son, so im creating a video for him on birthdays, graduations, major milestones etc
 
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