Is hair pulling out self harm or weird?

[FoxSauce]

I think this super weird question

I pull my hair when I'm under stress or just do it. It feels right and I cant stop, Ive been trying desperately to stop with stress toys other methods but it's unbearable. To the point I have a literall ball of it.

Its really embarrassing makes me calm down also when I feel a strand that is not right I feel an urge to pull it out.

If have no idea if just SH or something else?

 

[iamanavalanche]

it is not weird at all :) sounds like trichotillomania

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Depends on if you are doing this with the intention of causing harm to yourself. I also pull out my hair, usually my leg hairs and sometimes my underarm hairs and pubic hairs (never the hair on my head), when stressed out but I don't generally do it to cause harm to myself. In that way, it differs from when I engage in SH, such as when I hit myself or cut, where the thought of harming myself is usually on my mind.

 

[Rabscuttle]

It can be a form of stimming/self soothing, also a subsection of OCD. I suppose you can argue it's a form of self harm, as you are feeling embarrassed by it. I used to rip my hair out back in middle school, genuinely had an old man bald spot. I went to a pool party once and someone noticed it, and said "holy shit why are you going bald?" The embarrassment I felt was really immeasurable. I eventually stopped, mainly out of shame, but it wasnt too difficult for me as I had another easy outlet in the form of dermatillomania, which was much easier to hide from people, but unfortunately still plagues me 20 years later.

You have my sympathy friend, I know it's difficult and shame inducing. I wish I had some good advice but I don't. I manage my dermatillomania better when I'm kinder to myself, but that takes a lot of conscious effort. I've found video journaling to be helpful in shifting my internal monologue and seeing myself as someone deserving empathy, rather than brute forcing will power to overcome negative thoughts and the desire to self soothe/stimm.

I don't think it's weird, it just think it's a byproduct of someone who is struggling and deserving of empathy.

 

[FoxSauce]

it is not weird at all :) sounds

It can be a form of stimming/self soothing, also a subsection of OCD. I suppose you can argue it's a form of self harm, as you are feeling embarrassed by it. I used to rip my hair out back in middle school, genuinely had an old man bald spot. I went to a pool party once and someone noticed it, and said "holy shit why are you going bald?" The embarrassment I felt was really immeasurable. I eventually stopped, mainly out of shame, but it wasnt too difficult for me as I had another easy outlet in the form of dermatillomania, which was much easier to hide from people, but unfortunately still plagues me 20 years later.

You have my sympathy friend, I know it's difficult and shame inducing. I wish I had some good advice but I don't. I manage my dermatillomania better when I'm kinder to myself, but that takes a lot of conscious effort. I've found video journaling to be helpful in shifting my internal monologue and seeing myself as someone deserving empathy, rather than brute forcing will power to overcome negative thoughts and the desire to self soothe/stimm.

I don't think it's weird, it just think it's a byproduct of someone who is struggling and deserving of empathy.

Thank you so much! It may sound bad but im glad I'm not the only one!
I've felt shame everytime I go to a hair salon and the hairstylist finds my short hairs in specific places.

I've been told flat out to stop but that the issue,I can't, even when stress or no stress is involved.

Your words have eased me, I cant thank you enough!

it is not weird at all :) sounds like trichotillomania

Is that can be curable or at least managable?

 

[Rabscuttle]

Thank you so much! It may sound bad but im glad I'm not the only one!
I've felt shame everytime I go to a hair salon and the hairstylist finds my short hairs in specific places.

I've been told flat out to stop but that the issue,I can't, even when stress or no stress is involved.

Your words have eased me, I cant thank you enough!

Ah yes the amount of times my family has said "stop picking your skin". How well that worked, lol. Would've been nice to get a hug instead or maybe an arm around my shoulder. As far as I am aware most stimming in this form, and even types of OCD are defense mechanisms of the brain, if we're preoccupied with picking our skin, or ripping our hair out or entranced in our routines, we aren't thinking about the underlying issues driving us to these behaviors. That isn't to say you have to solve every issue in your mind and life, but just being aware of these issues and trying to implement a smidge of self compassion is a great starting point. I went 3 days without picking my skin last week, the first time I had gone that long in over 2 years, and that shift start with me just being aware of some troubles in my mind and just really trying to be aware of how I'm talking to myself internally. Trying to treat myself like I would a friend or even my child self. Obviously my streak ended and my hands and feet are raw and red, but progress is progress, doesn't have to be linear. Once you do something once it can keep being done.

Mindfulness is a big part of this too. Have you ever looked into yoga?

And I work with animals (dogs and cats), and even they pluck out their hair out of stress anxiety, it's called psychogenic alopecia. Factory farm chickens will pluck their feathers due to stress. So don't feel alone. It's seems to be some evolutionary thing to redirect away from and have an outlet for stress.

 

[Languish]

If it hurts, and you like the pain. Self harm is as it sounds - self-harm. Of course there are varying degrees of intensity

 

[FoxSauce]

Ah yes the amount of times my family has said "stop picking your skin". How well that worked, lol. Would've been nice to get a hug instead or maybe an arm around my shoulder. As far as I am aware most stimming in this form, and even types of OCD are defense mechanisms of the brain, if we're preoccupied with picking our skin, or ripping our hair out or entranced in our routines, we aren't thinking about the underlying issues driving us to these behaviors. That isn't to say you have to solve every issue in your mind and life, but just being aware of these issues and trying to implement a smidge of self compassion is a great starting point. I went 3 days without picking my skin last week, the first time I had gone that long in over 2 years, and that shift start with me just being aware of some troubles in my mind and just really trying to be aware of how I'm talking to myself internally. Trying to treat myself like I would a friend or even my child self. Obviously my streak ended and my hands and feet are raw and red, but progress is progress, doesn't have to be linear. Once you do something once it can keep being done.

Mindfulness is a big part of this too. Have you ever looked into yoga?

And I work with animals (dogs and cats), and even they pluck out their hair out of stress anxiety, it's called psychogenic alopecia. Factory farm chickens will pluck their feathers due to stress. So don't feel alone. It's seems to be some evolutionary thing to redirect away from and have an outlet for stress.

Yes definitely. Although it didnt work but into exercising which I've found really works in the short while but even so I still do now for 6 years now.