Is getting older really that bad?

[tiredofbreathing]

I saw someone on here who wanted to ctb because they turned 30 and thought they were getting old. I think every reason is valid to ctb but is it really that bad to get wrinkles and age? Like those of you who are older and in your 40s, 50s,and older etc is it actually bad or is it just whatever? Like also does life get worse as you get older or does it get better sometimes? I am in my late twenties now but I don't feel bad or anything at the moment. The one thing I have noticed with getting older though is there seems to feel there is less "hope"

 

[cgrtt.brns]

im in my early twenties so i cant answer ur questions but i know for me my age just reminds me of how long ive been alive and struggling and the thought of aging further kinda fills me with dread bc of the potential for more suffering, and if im still in a similar place in my life ill definitely be disappointed in myself for not being able to get better if that makes sense, like ill have lost hope even more than now bc i imagine itll get harder as i get older. i also still mentally feel like a 12 year old so the older nd further away i get from that age just feels increasingly not right. its also gonna suck as i get less able to do things, i already have noticed my body isnt physically able to do a lot of things i used to be able to do easily which is upsetting, but as far as appearance like wrinkles and stuff it doesnt bother me. however i can see why some may worry about it, especially with societies beauty expectations just being impossible and unfair especially the older you get.

 

[Remeer]

Hello, I am close to 30 and it may not make much sense to answer because of my age, but I will still contribute
Everything is relative, for example I currently feel much better than when I was around 20, even though at that age I had more opportunities and close people, therefore it depends on your circumstances.
I suppose that the best thing is to define some own criteria to answer that, for example we could use the comparison or the own changes
greetings, be well

 

[SetMeFree11]

For me getting older is a constant reminder of how little I accomplished in my life - it really is all my fault. I just wish my life will be over so that I can stop being disappointed.

 

[heavyeyes]

I'm almost 30 so not old but from what I've read on this site it depends on the individual and their circumstances. For some it's worth it and for others it's not.

Imo living to old age is only really worth it if you've accomplished things to have something to show for it. Otherwise honestly it's a waste. Definitely less hope of things improving as people get older because they've suffered for longer. Genetics are also a big factor especially when health begins to inevitably decline. Bad genetics can really fuck people up.

I refuse to get older as per my circumstances and my genetics. Ctb is my saving grace.

 

[LittleJem]

With mental illness every day...and getting older. I feel like I am living in my own afterlife. Like in a life I never would have wanted or chosen, that I just have to keep bearing the best I can till it gets to be enough. No children (my choice as mental illness), no partner, no property, no job. And all of it just coloured by pointlessness and depression.

I can't even find television I want to watch!

When I was younger I had dreams and hopes, and now I am past all of that and just know it is just mental illness from here on in. I also achieved more when I was younger, before my health deteriorated.

Don't want to depress anyone!

If you have reasons to live/be happy then getting older is fine...

 

[Gonnerr]

Im 43 and it's really bad , i dont know how people manage to reach 100 let alone 65. Some people are more lucky i guess mentally and physically.

 

[NoLightRemains]

It really depends. As you get older you have more chances of something terrible happening to your body health wise. I got unlucky and my health took a big downturn when I was 27. I don't really mind the appearance changes of aging. I'm just very aware I'm past my peak (23-27) and my life will never be as good as before.

I wish I had more optimistic things to say because it's the recovery subforum, but that's just my experience.

 

[tiredofbreathing]

Im 43 and it's really bad , i dont know how people manage to reach 100 let alone 65. Some people are more lucky i guess mentally and physically.

im sorry that life has unfair to you. Personally, I don't think the human body unless they have special genetics was ever meant to live past like 80-85
its just medical advancements keeping us alive.

 

[charlotte_]

It really depends on your individual mindset and situation. You mention that there is "less hope" as you grow older and I think that's true for many cases of people who doesn't want to grow old. There will be less time, less opportunities for jobs, dating ect and less privileges given to you once you reach adulthood, esp for people around 30 yo. Society tends to expect a lot from you at that age, so if you don't fulfill their requirements, you most likely will live a tough life and have a low social status. I really do hope you don't find yourself believe in these, though.

 

[JGT1]

Over 40. Less trust in general. Been burnt too many times. People who you think are Friends may not be friends. A bit more respected at work due to career knowledge though. Harder to hegin freinds at this age
I sometimes wish we lived hundreds of years ago when the life expectancy was 40
"Imo living to old age is only really worth it if you've accomplished things to have something to show for it. Otherwise honestly it's a waste. Definitely less hope of things improving as people get older because they've suffered for longer. " I agree with this
I sometimes wish we lived hundreds of years ago when the life expectancy was 40

 

[kindalone]

When you reach 30, you get a good estimate of what you are capable of, I guess. Things aren't gonna dramatically improve if they haven't already, unless you are quite lucky. I think that's why 30 seems to be the magic number. For me personally, things started to gradually dawn on me when I turned 30. Nothing happens immediately but you slowly realize that there's not much you can do about a lot of things.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I saw someone on here who wanted to ctb because they turned 30 and thought they were getting old. I think every reason is valid to ctb but is it really that bad to get wrinkles and age? Like those of you who are older and in your 40s, 50s,and older etc is it actually bad or is it just whatever? Like also does life get worse as you get older or does it get better sometimes? I am in my late twenties now but I don't feel bad or anything at the moment. The one thing I have noticed with getting older though is there seems to feel there is less "hope"

It depends on many different factors, the most important one is certainly your health status, the next factor is whether you consider your personal life good or bad within the society, having good/bad family relations, are there daily issues causing you a headache or can you go through the day relaxed, there are many other indivdual factors.

 

[SentientSapien]

This is my personal opinion, I would say yes. For a couple different reasons. Firstly, your body physically deteriorates as you age; that obviously has lots implications like making you more susceptible to diseases/illnesses, making it so you no longer have the ability to do the things you could when you were younger, diminishing certain abilities like sight, hearing etc. Secondly, many people consider aging to have a negative effect on their physical appearance. This affects self esteem and narrows down options in terms of finding a partner. Third reason is societal. Society generally has certain unspoken "expectations" for middle aged/elderly folks. That they "settle down", not be as adventurous with their lives etc and failure to abide by these expectations brings about a fear of being ostracised. People therefore tend to not be "allowed" to live their lives as authentically as they get older.
I don't know if there are more reasons but these were the ones I could think of off the top of my head.

 

[Coldpizza22]

I'm in my 20s so not one to speak, buy most of my coworkers are in their late 40s. You have to be more considerate about what you eat. You can't get away with eating too much crap food or you'll have cardiovascular issues, it can cause a stroke even at the age if 40. You're out of your prime, if you're still single it's a lot harder to find someone young.
You're also more busy with work, and not having as many opportunities to meet new people as college student.

 

[gottablast888]

Im almost 30 so i dont kno completely, but id imagine not being hormonal might be a bit easier on the mind.

 

[Pluto]

Various studies on happiness have indicated that the worst age is one's 40s; being younger on average entails more interesting experiences, while senior citizens often enjoy a peak of happiness relating to retirement, lack of responsibilities and the wealth to travel and socialise endlessly.

Since society is dynamic, though, I see this shifting over the coming decades. Firstly, the average age that people live is currently increasing markedly. In Australia, just a few years ago it was 70-something, now it's 80-something. Based on this trajectory, a young person alive today would surely be expected to live beyond 100 or even 110. This new context would make a 70-year-old quite young by comparison.

Of course, that estimation doesn't account for population declines caused by wars, famines, environmental calamities and, heaven forbid, an exodus of suffering people via legalised voluntary euthanasia. Conversely, young people today may not have the same abundant opportunities for long-term stable employment, lifelong marriages, active families, affordable property, ample retirement funds and other factors that set up the previous generation for a utopian (aside from health issues) ageing high-point.

My personal experience, as a 40-something, abandoned/low-status member of society, has been less than stellar. In order to address the fear of homelessness, I had to work stupid hours on crappy jobs, putting on a fake smile and fighting fatigue and poor mental health all the way. Eventually, this obsessive effort ticked a basic box since I now have a house, but in the years that have passed, I've accelerated health problems through living under constant stress, have barely scratched the surface of dealing with trauma, and the lifelong dream of finding a partner gets more and more distant as the first signs of greying and balding become apparent. Right now, I have again delayed plans to actually CTB by a few months, but will not be giving up my N from D any time soon.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Careers and/or family pull people past the age of 30. I got none of that.

Various studies on happiness have indicated that the worst age is one's 40s; being younger on average entails more interesting experiences, while senior citizens often enjoy a peak of happiness relating to retirement, lack of responsibilities and the wealth to travel and socialise endlessly.

Since society is dynamic, though, I see this shifting over the coming decades. Firstly, the average age that people live is currently increasing markedly. In Australia, just a few years ago it was 70-something, now it's 80-something. Based on this trajectory, a young person alive today would surely be expected to live beyond 100 or even 110. This new context would make a 70-year-old quite young by comparison.

Of course, that estimation doesn't account for population declines caused by wars, famines, environmental calamities and, heaven forbid, an exodus of suffering people via legalised voluntary euthanasia. Conversely, young people today may not have the same abundant opportunities for long-term stable employment, lifelong marriages, active families, affordable property, ample retirement funds and other factors that set up the previous generation for a utopian (aside from health issues) ageing high-point.

My personal experience, as a 40-something, abandoned/low-status member of society, has been less than stellar. In order to address the fear of homelessness, I had to work stupid hours on crappy jobs, putting on a fake smile and fighting fatigue and poor mental health all the way. Eventually, this obsessive effort ticked a basic box since I now have a house, but in the years that have passed, I've accelerated health problems through living under constant stress, have barely scratched the surface of dealing with trauma, and the lifelong dream of finding a partner gets more and more distant as the first signs of greying and balding become apparent. Right now, I have again delayed plans to actually CTB by a few months, but will not be giving up my N from D any time soon.

As meager consolation as it is you're among the most cherished members here...

 

[Ambivalent1]

I saw someone on here who wanted to ctb because they turned 30 and thought they were getting old. I think every reason is valid to ctb but is it really that bad to get wrinkles and age? Like those of you who are older and in your 40s, 50s,and older etc is it actually bad or is it just whatever? Like also does life get worse as you get older or does it get better sometimes? I am in my late twenties now but I don't feel bad or anything at the moment. The one thing I have noticed with getting older though is there seems to feel there is less "hope"

Early 30s you'll begin to get injuries from doing things you normally do and that can take weeks to heal. Plop down in a beanbag chair and you can have a bad knee for months.

 

[BloomingStrella]

Well, I think so, but not really. It is true that physical deterioration is not a good thing, but it's an essential part of life. On the other hand, the older you are, the more vulnerable you are to being afflicted by something. Even harmless illnesses like colds could turn fatal if you're old enough, or stricken with some sort of condition. If you're planning on suicide, though, life eventually will murder you regardless, but it's still extremely distressing to have to wait decades for it to give you the bus ticket.

 

[chromeparallel]

I'm almost 40 and all I can say is... well... I won't make it to 40.

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

When you reach 30, you get a good estimate of what you are capable of, I guess. Things aren't gonna dramatically improve if they haven't already, unless you are quite lucky. I think that's why 30 seems to be the magic number. For me personally, things started to gradually dawn on me when I turned 30. Nothing happens immediately but you slowly realize that there's not much you can do about a lot of things.

I didn't learn this lesson until way after my 30s. Kudos for being a fast learner.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it depends on the person and what your youth has been like! I'm 43. I certainly wouldn't want to be young again and in the situation I was in. Age can be a blessing if it means you become independant and can leave abusive families. Also- I think SOME things get to you slightly less. I was quite an emotional, vulnerable child. There again- plenty of other things start to get harder. Physically- your body is older- obviously and it takes longer to recover from things. It's also difficult workwise if you find yourself unemployed. People's lives have often really changed by this point too- friends quite often have families by now- which means it's likely you won't see them so much.

Really though- it's down partly to luck- like everything else. Plus- how much the person has looked after themselves I expect- both in terms of their health and life situation. Even some very elderly people seem to enjoy a good quality of life. I don't think it's terrible for everyone but physically- I guess there's more chance of things going wrong, the older we get.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Well, I'm 59 so let's just say I don't want to be living much longer. Who wants to end up pissing and shitting their pants, and not knowing who they, or anybody else is anymore, and unable to even walk or see properly.
No, you can shove that up your ass thank you very much.

 

[JGT1]

"Well, I'm 59 so let's just say I don't want to be living much longer. Who wants to end up pissing and shitting their pants, and not knowing who they, or anybody else is anymore, and unable to even walk or see properly."

My late father said similar things before his passing.