Is being transgender a valid reason to kill myself?

[Shorine]

I don't expect anybody to tell me what to do or whether or not I should kill myself, but I just wanted to tell my story and see if I am justified for wanting to die. There's just a lot of pain inside of me and I want to let it out somehow. So here goes.

I'm a 21 year old transgender woman who has actively transitioned to a female both socially and medically for about 2 years. A lot has happened over these years, so much that I can't even recognize myself anymore. It's really scary, looking into the mirror and seeing three different people: the person who I used to be, the person who I want to be, and the person who I physically am. Yet there are very little similarities between them. It's like having no home to return to. You want to be safe and warm living as yourself but you just can't because "yourself" doesn't really exist.

Even worse is there's very little people to relate to about this. A lot of people are rather apprehensive when dealing with trans people. I understand though. It's a lot to ask of people to treat you as the opposite man/woman when you physically aren't. How they react is different too. No one reacts the same way. Some people don't care, others play along, others stare. Yet very little people want to include you in their lives.

Overall, being trans is a very lonely and uncomfortable journey. But I just can't go back to being a man though. It's too painful. And it's too late anyway. Estrogen in a male body has some powerful side effects you can't get rid of (pelvis growth, breast growth, nipple enlargement, etc.) Everything I do just hurts. I feel so trapped as someone who has no self or permanent state of being. I never really asked for all of this pain in my life and I just want it to stop. I just can't take it anymore.

 

[Ch92921]

yes i can understand

 

[Jean Améry]

I don't think anyone needs to 'justify' being suicidal. Certainly not here and not to me.I don't think you should want to die merely because of who you are. Excessive pain that can't be alleviated is to me a good reason for suicide though.

I'm sorry to hear you're so loney. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be in your position. Try to find people like you and by all means share your feelings here or where ever you think it's safe to do so. I learned firsthand keeping everything bottled up will lead to extreme suffering and possibly irrational behaviour.


Try to imagine what it'll be like when you finally have the body you've always wanted and can be who you want to be. Your journey may very well be painful and lonely (which in itself is painful as we are social creatures) now but it doesn't have to end badly.

This doesn't imply judgement about your death wish of course. I think it's quite normal to want release if you've suffered too much. The trick is trying to determine when it's really not possible to get what one wants (relief from pain to begin with) and ergo when it'd be appropriate to die.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I am going to to have a surgery, because estrogen effects were not enough for me to feel comfortable. If that won't work I am offing myself for sure. Life is already was too much to handle, I just won't make it if I won't pass as cis... I don't know how non-passing trans folk do it for a long time.
Where I live people are mostly indifferent and don't misgender it they clock me but the fear of being perceived as a male paralysing and humiliating still.
For me this is a valid reason.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

I don't expect anybody to tell me what to do or whether or not I should kill myself, but I just wanted to tell my story and see if I am justified for wanting to die. There's just a lot of pain inside of me and I want to let it out somehow. So here goes.

I'm a 21 year old transgender woman who has actively transitioned to a female both socially and medically for about 2 years. A lot has happened over these years, so much that I can't even recognize myself anymore. It's really scary, looking into the mirror and seeing three different people: the person who I used to be, the person who I want to be, and the person who I physically am. Yet there are very little similarities between them. It's like having no home to return to. You want to be safe and warm living as yourself but you just can't because "yourself" doesn't really exist.

Even worse is there's very little people to relate to about this. A lot of people are rather apprehensive when dealing with trans people. I understand though. It's a lot to ask of people to treat you as the opposite man/woman when you physically aren't. How they react is different too. No one reacts the same way. Some people don't care, others play along, others stare. Yet very little people want to include you in their lives.

Overall, being trans is a very lonely and uncomfortable journey. But I just can't go back to being a man though. It's too painful. And it's too late anyway. Estrogen in a male body has some powerful side effects you can't get rid of (pelvis growth, breast growth, nipple enlargement, etc.) Everything I do just hurts. I feel so trapped as someone who has no self or permanent state of being. I never really asked for all of this pain in my life and I just want it to stop. I just can't take it anymore.

From what I understand, estrogen therapy can also contribute to depression and anxiety. Sorry your going through this shit.

 

[311]

That must be some hard shit. I cant imagine

 

[Umbra]

Yes, it's a valid reason because it makes you want to commit suicide (presumably). Any reason is valid as long as you want to. Regardless of the circumstances it's your choice.

 

[Roberto]

I prefer not to say if it is a valid reason or not. But statistics in transgender suicides is high. I understand that you go to a therapist to help you cope with the changes and self-image. If not, I think it would help. Also to get to know any LGBTI group where you can share your feelings. They will understand your feeling accurately. Don't close yourself alone. Probably you will know other people transgender here that understand your feelings very deeply. I just can say I'm sorry for your suffering and I wish it ends soon.
A big hug with lots of love

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't expect anybody to tell me what to do or whether or not I should kill myself, but I just wanted to tell my story and see if I am justified for wanting to die. There's just a lot of pain inside of me and I want to let it out somehow. So here goes.

I'm a 21 year old transgender woman who has actively transitioned to a female both socially and medically for about 2 years. A lot has happened over these years, so much that I can't even recognize myself anymore. It's really scary, looking into the mirror and seeing three different people: the person who I used to be, the person who I want to be, and the person who I physically am. Yet there are very little similarities between them. It's like having no home to return to. You want to be safe and warm living as yourself but you just can't because "yourself" doesn't really exist.

Even worse is there's very little people to relate to about this. A lot of people are rather apprehensive when dealing with trans people. I understand though. It's a lot to ask of people to treat you as the opposite man/woman when you physically aren't. How they react is different too. No one reacts the same way. Some people don't care, others play along, others stare. Yet very little people want to include you in their lives.

Overall, being trans is a very lonely and uncomfortable journey. But I just can't go back to being a man though. It's too painful. And it's too late anyway. Estrogen in a male body has some powerful side effects you can't get rid of (pelvis growth, breast growth, nipple enlargement, etc.) Everything I do just hurts. I feel so trapped as someone who has no self or permanent state of being. I never really asked for all of this pain in my life and I just want it to stop. I just can't take it anymore.

There are plenty of transgenders that do just fine. Being transgender itself isn't the problem, the problem is your associated mental distress.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

@RainAndSadness
They should be able to relate in some way. Maybe you two can talk

 

[YukiFox]

There are plenty of transgenders that do just fine. Being transgender itself isn't the problem, the problem is your associated mental distress.

I would say the same thing. The point is, being transgender isn't the problem, because being transgender isn't depressing, the depression is still there before and after the transition. Isn't the fact of being transgender for being suicidal, is all the struggles on our minds who provokes the suicidal thoughts.
In my case, I afraid a lot the transition. Four people isn't agree with my gender dysphoria, that it's normal to feel "Lost" and being transgender isn't a solution. But, even if I complete them, I know that I will be still depressed, the hallucinations will be still there, and my anxiety and fears will be still there. The fact of transitioning makes me proud of you, because I'm lack of money to afford them. So don't be ashamed for be trans,.
In the issue of feeling caged on three different people -- your previous identity, your actual identity, and your desired identity -, don't let the remorse take your mind off. Your transition and your actual gender is valid. I have a similar feeling , since I'm still living as cis male, I don't recognize Agatha yet, and I don't get it why is she taking control of me. And I feel dizzy, or compassionate about my male identity, but I don't want it anymore and I want to find some answers about why I have a mid-to-heavy gender dysphoria.
Sister, let's keep going. Whatever you decide, we respect you. But being transgender isn't synonym of self destruct.

 

[snack]

Hi Shorin. I do not know how to send private messages here. Could you write to me? I would like to talk with you. I have the same problem, the same thoughts.

 

[alizee]

I'm mtf as well.

Not passing is in a lot of cases "more valid than anything" for acting on suicidal ideation. Medical professionals don't care about the non passing group of trans people and just see non passing as assets in increasing awareness. They're all heavily influenced in early med courses to be conditioned to think acceptance is all that matters with psychologically making them prepared to see gruesome results on people with whatever happened requiring them to go to a hospital.

The non passing people typically delude themselves to a point of where they either fail to realize everyone clocks them as transgender or they take on some activist role to convince themselves they have meaning in life. Neither cases are something I would desire or wish on an enemy. Also the transgender communities are all run by people against suicide and instead for pro-life. I feel like it does a disservice to the persons who truly don't pass and live a hell. Maybe if people encouraged or helped a person act on suicide.. medical professionals would take non-passing more seriously. Furthermore its understanding why the transgender communities are against suicide. They just want to increate an already small minority because more people make more change. It's why cancer gets all it's funding in society.

People will say you're lucky for starting at the age you did but in reality it depends solely on your body with how much finances you have for plastic surgery. The typical best images of transitioning are persons from upperclass families who could afforded the plastic surgeries from the best surgeons. Also with time to diet & exercise without having to worry much about typical life as a commoner. Of course some very rare people exist that really do change by just HRT alone but rareness is found everywhere in life with chances being not you.

Then there are the problems of even when passing. Not being able to ever have a biological child of your own. The dating pool shrinks considerably and where you have to acknowledge you might just be someone's fetish if they're comfortable dating a transgender person. Yah suicide is understandable and only people who dismiss it are foolish.

 

[Nobodysfault]

A bit off topic:
transgenders usually look like supermodels.
They have tiny waist,long legs, they always consider tall as a woman. a beautiful body shape.
Men in general tend to have the perfect supermodel look if they lose weight...almost all of mens body shapes similar to a supermodel when skinny.

Us humans will be attracted to whatever is given to us, a straight man might be in denial when he sees a trans but he can and will find himself unchoosenly attracted to a feminine looking human being.
Take for example the whole "huge butt" trend, nowadays theres nothing more important than a big behind, up until 10 years ago men didnt care for butts,it was all about the legs and breasts.people used to call girls with big butt - horse shape,teacher,aunties, gross and fat. Nowadays the bigger the butt the hotter the woman.
Humans dont choose their attraction- society choose it for them and since everyones got a buttock, this creates more straight man who cant resist other men with big butts ( that and porn and weed cause weed is full of estrogen- long story)

I have a beautiful guy friend whos not a trans
but he has very feminine body and face,he lost little weight and now he got that supermodel body with this really big round ass. Hes not acting "super gay", he is very feminine but in a modest way. he turned 4 guys gay for him and the numbers keep on adding up.the guys he was with are straight but his body and face are so beautiful for them so they couldnt help it (and then they said it was the best sex they ever had.)

men are more attracted to a feminine looking man than the to the average woman, simply because feminine looking man are the supermodels of women.

People will be attracted to you,more attracted to you than to any woman before-Thing is, man are too afraid to take that move because its so taboo.
I know another person with the same situation, shes a beautiful woman now, a model.


about not being yourself:
sorry if i went off topic, its just that i think trans are so beautiful and im a witness to how man are attracted to them. Im jealous of you, cause you turn so beautiful once you change!! But mainly im jealous because its so legitimized by society, society helps and admire trans, there is so much awareness for the fact that you need to help them feel like a woman/man, there are gay parades and so many tv shows and fund raising for you.which is awesome but so fake of society:
Im not a trangender, but im going through the same thing.
I look at the mirror and im not myself, no one accept that, my family and my country accept trans and helps them while theyre still kids but they dont accept a woman who doesnt feel like herself, its so taboo in my country-they make me feel so ashamed and judge me as if im crazy.
I was 12 when i realized im not myself- i looked at the mirror and felt discussed so i hid at home, it was hard for me to attend school or function.i was 15 when i realized what i needed to do to change it. I put my life on hold, i was so happy i found a way to be closer to who i really am.
All i wanted was to be able to function as everyone else- go to the beach, have a boyfriend, and be able to wake up in the morning and go straight out without make up.. i wanted to change it but i failed because no one wanted to help me and made me feel crazy and define me as a non spontaneous person (even though i am but cant function because im not myself!!).. so now I cant go out, i cant see people, i look at myself and see someone else. No one wanted to help me change it! So I suffer the same as a trans..i see two people, when i close my eyes i see who i really am and infornt of the mirror i see everything im not.
by the way, im not looking for an unhuman look or horns or anything like that.. i just had to alter some features and was being treated in a degrading way from society and plastic surgeons. My story is very long, this is not the full story.
i hope youll feel better.. I know how not being yourself is the worst thing a person can suffer from, i can survive everything from jail to a harsh break up but i cant survive that basic thing of not being myself. I wish you luck and happiness, i wish i could pm you.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

My dysphoria getting progressively worse. I used to even feel cute. Now I barely can go out, I feel hideous, unfeminine, that shatters any confidence I had built up.. and people notice that. I am truly look worse because I have neglected myself, I had extensive skincare, haircare rutine before but now I can barely wash my face and brush teeth.
I have been to the disability commission today, the psychiatrist told me they will help me and it make me feel like shit, worthless, pathetic huge looser. I know I am running everything, becoming a burden to everyone. I don't believe that anything ca help me at that point. I am fake, I really want to end all this.
I am sorry for highjacking post for my personal rant. I am just... falling apart.

 

[alizee]

A bit off topic:
transgenders usually look like supermodels..

I disagree with the "usually" part.

There are cis supermodels and trans supermodels. The notion that trans women tend to look like supermodels is a wild claim. Testosterone increase the person's bone mass and the supermodel generalization would only be possible if starting hormone blockers before puberty and which isn't typically the case unless in Thailand. The being tall part for males is a Caucasian & African trait and typically these subgroups have a harder time transitioning before puberty because of the religious stigma in the western world. I've seen broad shoulder frames before puberty on both sides of females & males as well.

I think you've seen the rare case being your friend "who has a feminine body" and are romanticizing transitioning instead of acknowledging the struggles besides beauty. The psychological problems with being born the opposite sex, the inability to have a biological child and the dating struggles. Some you briefed on but I fear some gender critical hogwash from reading what you wrote.

 

[AmbleNorth]

I can't pretend to truly understand what you're going through, but I know a trans person in my life that is joyful and living a much more productive, peaceful life than myself. I'm not discounting your issues at all, I'm just saying that I don't think it's invariable that one must end their life solely because they're trans; that life and being trans is not irreconcilable, per se. For what it's worth, people are becoming more and more understanding of the condition you deal with - and over time I think it will get better than it is now. I wish I had more to offer in consolation. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Nobodysfault]

My dysphoria getting progressively worse. I used to even feel cute. Now I barely can go out, I feel hideous, unfeminine, that shatters any confidence I had built up.. and people notice that. I am truly look worse because I have neglected myself, I had extensive skincare, haircare rutine before but now I can barely wash my face and brush teeth.
I have been to the disability commission today, the psychiatrist told me they will help me and it make me feel like shit, worthless, pathetic huge looser. I know I am running everything, becoming a burden to everyone. I don't believe that anything ca help me at that point. I am fake, I really want to end all this.
I am sorry for highjacking post for my personal rant. I am just... falling apart.

Im going through the EXACT same thing

 

[Dwellinglifeless]

I have very bad Suspiria. Which is one of the biggest reasons I want to go. I cannot bring myself to transition, because I know it is never going to be what I want it to be.

 

[Nobodysfault]

I disagree with the "usually" part.

There are cis supermodels and trans supermodels. The notion that trans women tend to look like supermodels is a wild claim. Testosterone increase the person's bone mass and the supermodel generalization would only be possible if starting hormone blockers before puberty and which isn't typically the case unless in Thailand. The being tall part for males is a Caucasian & African trait and typically these subgroups have a harder time transitioning before puberty because of the religious stigma in the western world. I've seen broad shoulder frames before puberty on both sides of females & males as well.

I think you've seen the rare case being your friend "who has a feminine body" and are romanticizing transitioning instead of acknowledging the struggles besides beauty. The psychological problems with being born the opposite sex, the inability to have a biological child and the dating struggles. Some you briefed on but I fear some gender critical hogwash from reading what you wrote.

Im not romanticizing, I'm well aware to the difficulties of being a transgender and i'm sorry if what i wrote didn't show that..my jealousy derived from their legitimization to get the change and get support and my empathy derived from me struggling in the same way as them.
I don't expect you to understand how my struggles are similar to transgenders because my case is not legitimized by any culture I know and i don't expect a random person to agree with me on a new-neverheardbefore subject-its in our nature to reject new and different things.
without getting into any detail: I do suffer from severe dating problems and very likely to suffer from fertility problems and other long terms troubles,compromised life, different judgy attitude from both men and women and so on.
Please, you don't know my mind or my story and you would be shocked if you knew.
I don't belong to any group as it is, its lonely as fuck. There is no awareness to what im going through but i do suffer from the exact identity problems as a transgender person is facing and we share the exact same need in change and the same awful symptoms that comes with it.
reading/hearing another unsupportive voice just makes me feel as crazy as transgenders and gays felt in the 16th century.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I

Im not romanticizing, I'm well aware to the difficulties of being a transgender and i'm sorry if what i wrote didn't show that..my jealousy derived from their legitimization to get the change and get support and my empathy derived from me struggling in the same way as them.
I don't expect you to understand how my struggles are similar to transgenders because my case is not legitimized by any culture I know and i don't expect a random person to agree with me on a new-neverheardbefore subject-its in our nature to reject new and different things.
without getting into any detail: I do suffer from severe dating problems and very likely to suffer from fertility problems and other long terms troubles,compromised life, different judgy attitude from both men and women and so on.
Please, you don't know my mind or my story and you would be shocked if you knew.
I don't belong to any group as it is, its lonely as fuck. There is no awareness to what im going through but i do suffer from the exact identity problems as a transgender person is facing and we share the exact same need in change and the same awful symptoms that comes with it.
reading/hearing another unsupportive voice just makes me feel as crazy as transgenders and gays felt in the 16th century.

Would like to know about your story and your feelings if you would like to share

 

[Nihil]

I've been on HRT for like four years now. Also mtf. And yet, I still have to legally and socially live as male due to my horrid living conditions and the wonderful joys of discrimination when looking for work and better housing. I relate a lot to you Shorine. Even in guy clothes, there's days where I look a lot more like my true female self. On those days, my heart warms and I feel a small bit of joy. I've even had strangers out in public addressing me as female quite a few times while dressed as a guy. On other days, I feel like I look a lot more masculine either due to lighting, hair style, or the type of clothes I wear. Some days I feel like I don't even exist, or have never existed, because I've never been able to actually live as a woman.

For me, my male self is nothing more than a mask, a disguise, to help keep me alive in an area where discrimination is high. Then I also see my true female self, and sometimes I cry and desperately try to gravitate towards that, but can't because yay discrimination and with needing to stay alive. I've legit had people intentionally try to talk me into suicide (and even had one guy admitting to me directly that he wanted to kill me over that very reason). Dealing with harrassment, derogatory remarks, and threats for so long...it really does take a toll on anyone's psyche, regardless if one is transgendered or not.

Personally, I feel the main reason for why the transgender suicide rate is so high is due to societal discrimination, mockery, and overall disproval. Where I come from, it's condemned so heavily to the point where it feels like being transgendered is worse than being a murderer for some BS reason. I hate that I have to keep hiding in the closet being something I'm not doing something I hate when my heart and true self yearns to be free. Literally want to incinerate my male-disguised identity from my overall identity. I'm a woman. I'm female. It's who I'm supposed to be, and it's who I am. I mean seriously, when is it so wrong and grounds for tons of discrimination just for identifying as and being a woman? Being discriminated for being trans and having never really lived my life the way I wanted to is the number one biggest reason why I want to die. It's not because of who I am, but how I'm treated by others because of it that makes me suicidal.

 

[alizee]

Im not romanticizing, I'm well aware to the difficulties of being a transgender and i'm sorry if what i wrote didn't show that..my jealousy derived from their legitimization to get the change and get support and my empathy derived from me struggling in the same way as them.
I don't expect you to understand how my struggles are similar to transgenders because my case is not legitimized by any culture I know and i don't expect a random person to agree with me on a new-neverheardbefore subject-its in our nature to reject new and different things.
without getting into any detail: I do suffer from severe dating problems and very likely to suffer from fertility problems and other long terms troubles,compromised life, different judgy attitude from both men and women and so on.
Please, you don't know my mind or my story and you would be shocked if you knew.
I don't belong to any group as it is, its lonely as fuck. There is no awareness to what im going through but i do suffer from the exact identity problems as a transgender person is facing and we share the exact same need in change and the same awful symptoms that comes with it.
reading/hearing another unsupportive voice just makes me feel as crazy as transgenders and gays felt in the 16th century.

I encourage you to share your story here. I'm not trying to put you down or anything in the original reply to you. I just don't agree with the belief that males typically can transition into the super model body. I've seen countless people who can't do it and it just upsets me that it would be thought to be so possible.
Anyway I would like to here your personal story because you must be dealing with something bad.

 

[hunter_lewis]

There are many trans people who beat the odds and rose above and beyond. So no, in my eyes being trans is not a valid reason to kill yourself. But it is not about validation-it is about what you feel, so I think no one can tell you if any reason is valid or not. Being trans is something that makes you you-be proud of who you are. No one should judge you for being trans, which is not a choice in my opinion.

 

[Thin Chew]

For me. Being transgender is not a reason to kill yourself. Let's take gay and lesbian for example. Yes, some hate them and some don't. For me, Im not gay but I don't mind if people is gay or lesbian. It's their choice and we can't judge them. What I'm trying to mean is that we shouldn't judge other. Just let them be what they want. Except for those who take drug etc

 

[dandan]

if I was a transgender and didnt feel fine with the result, and felt pain, and I end up looking different from what I thought and worse... yup that would cause me very big identity issues, thats me... I can understand , thats some very hard stuff... what are you doing ? can you go through trough today?

 

[letmeseethedeath]

I don't expect anybody to tell me what to do or whether or not I should kill myself, but I just wanted to tell my story and see if I am justified for wanting to die. There's just a lot of pain inside of me and I want to let it out somehow. So here goes.

I'm a 21 year old transgender woman who has actively transitioned to a female both socially and medically for about 2 years. A lot has happened over these years, so much that I can't even recognize myself anymore. It's really scary, looking into the mirror and seeing three different people: the person who I used to be, the person who I want to be, and the person who I physically am. Yet there are very little similarities between them. It's like having no home to return to. You want to be safe and warm living as yourself but you just can't because "yourself" doesn't really exist.

Even worse is there's very little people to relate to about this. A lot of people are rather apprehensive when dealing with trans people. I understand though. It's a lot to ask of people to treat you as the opposite man/woman when you physically aren't. How they react is different too. No one reacts the same way. Some people don't care, others play along, others stare. Yet very little people want to include you in their lives.

Overall, being trans is a very lonely and uncomfortable journey. But I just can't go back to being a man though. It's too painful. And it's too late anyway. Estrogen in a male body has some powerful side effects you can't get rid of (pelvis growth, breast growth, nipple enlargement, etc.) Everything I do just hurts. I feel so trapped as someone who has no self or permanent state of being. I never really asked for all of this pain in my life and I just want it to stop. I just can't take it anymore.

i'm transgender too and yes, that's the reason why i want to ctb

 

[Shorine]

Holy crap, sorry I didn't read this earlier. I was really busy contemplating my situation and I lost track of this thread. Thank you all for sharing your stories. It is always a nice thing to hear experiences from people who are close to my situation. They help me cope with my dysphoria and provide insight to my problems.

That said, my problems of being a transgender woman still exist. Though I feel I should clarify that my issues are not due to me being trans. Rather that my transgenderism DOES cause a significant distress in my life. I believe that a good portion of my problems are due to a lack of social connection and a desire to be seen as "normal." However, it is also true that my transness DOES affect my social and general well being.

For example, I want to be able to converse in a female fashion but my voice just doesn't translate into a feminine manner. Voice training has helped to some extent, but after two different vocal coaches, an androgynous pitch and resonance is all I can do. I am well aware there are surgeries to fix my voice such as Yeson and FemLAR. However, these surgeries affect the quality of the voice, meaning that singing, yelling, and various idiosyncrasies related to average communication are greatly impaired. The worst part of all this is the feeling of being "fake" however. This "fakeness" never goes away and I feel terrible inside.

Overall, the reason I wanted to commit suicide is just to escape all of this. It's not like I want to die, it's just that I feel there's no way out of my situation. I really do hope that if there is an afterlife or god that mercy will be given to me. Most of all, what I really want though is a second chance. Just a second chance at life as the proper gender and sex. I know it is quite ridiculous to wish upon factors that I don't know nor control but I really just want to live a life like anybody else, unburdened by all of this. The only other way I see out of my problem is being a man again, and I don't know if I can even do that.

That being said, there are many, MANY things going in my head right now, but it would definitely be remiss of me to not thank everyone who commented on this thread I created in panic. I wish that all of you on this thread find what you are looking for and that maybe one day, in the future, that people who have the same issues I do won't have these problems due to advances in medical science. I hope God has mercy on my soul and all of yours as well.

 

[alizee]

Umm Shorine, the Yeson voice surgery is heated when discussed among online transgender communities. Most negatives I read about it, I wouldn't consider as a reason to not attempt it and when contemplating surgery. I myself cannot afford it but if I could.. I would try that first. I've read the surgery specifically doesn't effect your singing from multiple people who have went through with the procedure. Maybe they're wrong but this is why I don't really trust anything online. So many people justify their fear when it comes to this surgery by trying to make it seem not worth it. I would definitely get it if I had the money.
On the God topic, I'm pretty sure this reality is Hell and God is evil "not good" if one exists. Everything in life is without any real control that is our own. We just live the life assigned to us at birth and become moulded into a specific person by the events that happen to us. I'm really surprised people push the God must be good narrative. God obviously doesn't care about anything and we're all just tortured souls with some happy people existing to torture us more because we're not them.

 

[Deivis]

I don't fucking understand why do people look down on TS ? Depends on the culture and country, of course.
Never been to the US. But have been to Thailand - many times and all major cities in the EU/UK..... London, Berlin.
Nobody gives a fuck.
I wouldn't hang out with any of those Thai ladyboys just because they're not right in their minds (drug addicts, sex workers, effects of the hormones and mood swings). But they have their right to do whatever they want in life (oh, those platitudes!) and shall not be frowned upon.

But the OP would agree that the problem is rooted in the brain and not in the groin.
No surgery would help if the mind is in the misery mode...