itwasallascream

itwasallascream

Member
May 19, 2024
48
I've had my SN for four months and have planned the date so many times and then backed out. I'm so fucking tired of this game but can't ever seem to go through with it.

Today I was ready. I got things ready and then took a nap. Now I'm awake and I don't want to go through with it today. This is so frustrating. I thought I was ready and was glad all of this was over.

Now my brain says that things are not so bad. Until next time.
Fuck I hate this life, this species, this planet, all of it. And my fucking SI won't let me leave. Why would anyone want to survive this?

Does anyone have any tips on how to set a date and the committ?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Forever Sleep, Ineedoutofhere, pthnrdnojvsc and 1 other person
S

s-w

Member
Jun 29, 2022
35
Yep, I've been certain that "today is the day" so many times in the last few weeks. It's so frustrating I just want to get over being scared and do it already.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ineedoutofhere
NegevChina

NegevChina

Student
Sep 5, 2024
196
I am ready but haven't set the date yet. My method is to scary its jumping. I kind of got stabilized in a condition that I know Im going to CTB but still waiting for something very bad to happen to trigger it. Next bad thing that's about to happen is running out of money and losing my house, I guess I wont be able to get over that. I already lost my ability to work, losing support of certain family members, my CPTSD is controlling me right now, and I might be slipping in to deep depression.
 
lacustra

lacustra

Student
Jul 3, 2024
105
Having the means to commit suicide means very little unless you're a very impulsive person. Part of you wants you to live, another part wants you to die. It's like that story about the two wolves. Whatever part you keep feeding will eventually overcome the other part. It just takes time, but nobody can say how long.

You'll know when you get there, I suppose.
 
Gangrel

Gangrel

Specialist
Jul 25, 2024
383
im always ready until i have to pull the trigger, or jump lol it's sickenning
 
BoredNTired

BoredNTired

Wants to sleep for a good long while
Sep 30, 2024
37
Yeah, I've been procrastinating for a while to the point where idk when or if i'd ever go through with it. The only reason I think I'm going to be able to stick to my goal of doing it before the end of the year is that I've been skipping classes in preperation for it and I'd rather not get kicked out of the house when my parent finds out. My own volition isn't very reliable, but as long as Its an action taken out of cowardice I feel pretty confidant in going through with it.
 

Similar threads

kamikaze_shark04
Replies
15
Views
434
Suicide Discussion
kamikaze_shark04
kamikaze_shark04
waistcoat
Replies
6
Views
109
Suicide Discussion
Trav1989
T
Abbadab
Replies
1
Views
138
Recovery
Praestat_Mori
P
F
Replies
12
Views
763
Suicide Discussion
jokster18
J
1
Replies
0
Views
51
Recovery
1monthwait
1