Venting Is anyone else a caretaker for someone they’re dating or their parents and at their wits end rn? (Schizophrenia, dementia, level 3 autism, etc)

[bugfart]

Hi all. I'm currently in a dynamic where I am in a caretaker role for my partner. We have been dating for about a year now and he took a turn for the worst when he turned 22, he was already an addict but developed full blown schizophrenia to the point where he became an incredibly mean spirited demon spawn person at times and I cannot convince him to get on meds again. He has delusions that I am a federal agent, trying to steal his belongings and identification, that I am a demon, that I am cheating and threatened to cut himself whenever I see my friends, etc. I've tried everything. I told him the number and name of a non profit therapy center and he did legitimately see them for a while and I was happy. He stopped taking his meds and got back on drugs (not quite sure what, he has a track record of doing quite literally anything in front of him, including weed roaches left behind on the ground that turned out to be spice, or huffing keyboard duster of all things). He is downright abusive and often does not shower for days. He is unemployed but has amazing skills with fishing, hunting, trapping smaller animals, butchering, fixing things, foraging. He could easily get a trade job and I keep leading him to water but I can't make him drink in terms of getting a job or taking medicine or going to therapy and I endure alot. I've done alot of reading. I have tried all methods that I've read about such as affirming feelings but not delusions, an example would be "I know you're very scared right now and I would be too if I was getting stalked by federal agents, but I think you're safe and I don't see any cameras around here and I can talk to you about this". He immediately tells me to fuck off and tells me to stop being condescending. Speaking insults back to him doesn't work. Ignoring it doesn't work. Affirming it doesn't work. Even when we are fine it's matter of time until I am put in a dangerous situation. but I know if I left he wouldn't have much and would probably not be able to sustain himself.

My dad is in a situation that's insane, my step mothers mother for context was an alcoholic and destroyed her relationships with all her kids, had a kid who suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome, got a medical malpractice suit due to showing up blackout drunk every day as a trauma nurse and being sloppy with her job. My stepmom had to raise her siblings including her brother with FAS who was in and out of jail for armed robbery and helped him through trade school and he's doing well now. Her mother only reached out once she got the dementia diagnosis and they are doing end of life care now. She is incapable of speaking and the rare moments of lucidity cause her to grab entire tables or chairs and use them as a battering ram against windows and doors. I have my misgivings with my dad and this situation has pushed him and my stepmom into abusing sedative medications. I barely have a dad anymore for myself due to the overwhelming situation he is in with his fiances mother. He can't show up for me anymore and his time is consumed with this end of life care. I feel like both I, my dad, my stepmom, and other people around the world are struggling so hard with our schizophrenic or dementia affected or autistic loved ones but there's a huge stigma. Who can relate to struggling to find tips and feeling like you're drowning rn? I know I am. If anyone has a schizophrenic loved one, a loved one with dementia, a high level needs autistic loved one, or other people you care for, share what's worked for you and how you're doing and let's talk about how your experience has been lately

Pics attached are what I have to deal with every day from my partner even though I love him and I try to do my best and support him