Discussion Is anybody else here being prevented from ctb by the same reasons that they want to ctb?

[ijustwishtodie]

I think that perhaps the title sounds a bit convoluted so I'm going to show what it means by giving my own example. In my case, one of my main reasons for wanting to ctb is because autism makes my life extremely difficult but, at the same time, autism also makes trying to die super difficult for me. A way in which autism makes my life difficult is my inability to understand basic instructions or basic concepts. Similarly, when it comes to suicide methods, I'm also unable to understand basic concepts. In short, the thing that makes me want to die is also the same thing that is preventing me from actually dying. This is just one example that applies to me but there are many different ways in where I have a reason to die but that same thing is preventing me from actually dying.

I have no idea if any of this made sense so, if it didn't, feel free to let me know. If this did make sense, feel free to share as to whether this applies to you as well or not

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Maybe just…. Being scared? I wouldn't say that's the only thing but it's a big factor in it.
I'm terrified of life. I'm terrified of getting older and I think something bad could happen to anyone at any minute. I'm at the point where when I go down my stairs I almost every time think what if I fell and broke a leg and it would make my life even worse. Although For some reason, I think of that more often than if I get in a car and think about possibly getting in a car accident. I guess I focus more on some of the little things that can happen.

And then I am terrified of possibly ever trying to CTB. I'm like you in that I feel like most methods are way too complicated for me. I'm not autistic, but I'm not smart enough. And I learned SI is a bitch when I previously did 2 half assed attempts to CTB. It's a lose/lose situation.

 

[RiverOfLife]

I am feeling depressed and passive, so that is holding me back. I also have real difficulties planning, which is part why I'm depressed.
And I'm very anxious,

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Maybe just…. Being scared? I wouldn't say that's the only thing but it's a big factor in it.
I'm terrified of life. I'm terrified of getting older and I think something bad could happen to anyone at any minute. I'm at the point where when I go down my stairs I almost every time think what if I fell and broke a leg and it would make my life even worse. Although For some reason, I think of that more often than if I get in a car and think about possibly getting in a car accident. I guess I focus more on some of the little things that can happen.

And then I am terrified of possibly ever trying to CTB. I'm like you in that I feel like most methods are way too complicated for me. I'm not autistic, but I'm not smart enough. And I learned SI is a bitch when I previously did 2 half assed attempts to CTB. It's a lose/lose situation.

I guess that counts? I'm also immensely scared of both life and dying. I'm not scared of death itself but the dying process... fuck, it's going to be so horrific regardless of whether I die naturally or by suicide. I'm extremely scared of life and of the suffering that I will have to go through... avoiding that suffering is why I want to be dead in the first place. But I can't ctb meaning that I can't avoid the suffering and, ugh, it's actually hurting me so much just thinking about this.

I am feeling depressed and passive, so that is holding me back. I also have real difficulties planning, which is part why I'm depressed.
And I'm very anxious,

Same here. It's honestly like a cycle. Life makes me depressed due to how shitty and horrific it is but my inability to die is making me even more depressed and that depression makes me want to die even more and the cycle repeats. I hate it all, why can't I just be killed already!?