zadyszka
professional boyfailure
- Feb 15, 2024
- 5
I've been planning to CTB next month, around my birthday. Due to the date of my suicide being so soon, I recently developed a fear of eating. More specifically, a fear of wasting food. We never had a lot of money, and are therefore often short on food.. I dont want to eat & have been eating less and less recently, because I feel like since I'll be dying soon, its better to let the others eat it. I used to struggle with an eating disorder, but this feels different.. Eating food or drinking anything else than water feels like I'd just be stealing from people who need it more than me. It's hard to explain, but since I'll be dead soon I feel like eating food or drinking store bought drinks is simply a waste (Sorry for repeating myself lol).. In a way its more a fear of stealing resources from others rather than a fear of eating, It's really hard to describe how i feel. Does anyone else feel this way / Is it weird to feel this way?
