Intense personality changes

[Sour]

Who are you? Who am I? I am constantly a different person. My thoughts, opinions, decisions, everything, always 180. I am not who I was yesterday and I don't expect to be me tomorrow. I never recognize the faces in the mirror. I want to shave all of my hair off. Tomorrow I love my hair, I wish it were longer. I want to leave my relationship, be a completely new person. I love my relationship. I push everyone away from me always. I am fucking losing my mind. I will never recognize who I am. There will never be any peace.

 

[faust]

Hello, @Sour
I know how it feels because experienced that myself.
It is like your true personality is non-existent and you are constantly changing.
Due to this I had many unwanted decisions and gave up many activities.
Is there anything that makes you stable?
Or at least any hobbies which you like not depending on your current personality?
I am sorry, you are experiencing that.
You are not alone

 

[MysticPerception]

Who are you? Who am I? I am constantly a different person. My thoughts, opinions, decisions, everything, always 180. I am not who I was yesterday and I don't expect to be me tomorrow. I never recognize the faces in the mirror. I want to shave all of my hair off. Tomorrow I love my hair, I wish it were longer. I want to leave my relationship, be a completely new person. I love my relationship. I push everyone away from me always. I am fucking losing my mind. I will never recognize who I am. There will never be any peace.

Oddly enough I completely understand and feel the same way. I honestly just hit the point where I decided the old me dies when I go to sleep and when I wake up I'm a new person because there's little to no consistency anyway. That's what got me to be a peace with it since it feels like I never stick with anything and I'm always changing the way I act and feel.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I get you. This is me 100%. I go through multiple personalities daily. My friends call me awkward because I never know how to act because it feels like every day I'm a person completely different than yesterday. I'm so fucking done with it I hate myself for it I hate myself in general

 

[Whitewash11235814]

I can kinda relate to this volatile disposition. I'm always bouncing between a proactive mentally and sheer pessimism.

The take charge personality is all talk but no action, and although it embodies optimism, it's actually useless in every way.

the pessimistic side spews depression to the point of me begging to ctb.

 

[autumnal]

Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[charlottewilts]

did you hack my computer because i wrote something extremely similar (down to the hair part, too)

it could be BPD... it's worth looking into. much love dear, i hope you're feeling a bit better now xx

 

[Sour]

Thank you all for your responses. Yes, I was diagnosed with bpd around a year ago. However I wasn't really sure if I agreed with it for a while

 

[autumnal]

Thank you all for your responses. Yes, I was diagnosed with bpd around a year ago. However I wasn't really sure if I agreed with it for a while

I'm not a clinician, but it leapt out to me.

 

[Sour]

The worst part about that is how little I feel I can get any help... I can talk about it but nothing ever changes... I feel like a lost cause

 

[autumnal]

The worst part about that is how little I feel I can get any help... I can talk about it but nothing ever changes... I feel like a lost cause

Yeah it's a very frustrating disorder for therapist and patient alike. Have you tried DBT?

 

[Sour]

Yeah it's a very frustrating disorder for therapist and patient alike. Have you tried DBT?

No but worth looking into. Sometimes I really hate my therapist. However I agree, I can't imagine how much she hates me

 

[notjustyetagain]

just another person who could've written this word for word. there's no easy way to sum it up, i've tried for decades. normal people cast a shadow -- our shadows cast us.