Insights on depression

[GreyMonkey]

I am coming to understand that depression is actually a triggered state of being.

A trigger is an emotional flashback where one regresses to a painful and unintegrated childhood state. Triggers are all consuming, we snap out of present moment experience and react disproportionately to the current situation.

To a child emotions are all consuming and when triggered we essentially become overtaken by child consciousness.

How then is depression being triggered?

Consider what are the most common causes of depression - losing a job, financial stress, death of someone close, a painful breakup, being left out, feeling lonely.

What do these things have in common?

Loss.

The root of which I am coming to believe is abandonment.

When a child is physically or emotionally neglected they experience abandonment trauma. When this happens enough times the development of complex trauma symptoms emerge, insecure attachment, depression/anxiety, and so on.

The state of depression is a present moment reenactment of the feeling of being abandoned.

If a child is abandoned enough it is an experience of almost death. To cope some kind of dissasociation is likely to begin. While the child may be able to lift out of these depressed experiences, if enough are experienced without the repair to the attachment injury, the nervous system then stores these painful memories which will then emerge later in adolescence and adulthood when triggered by circumstances that represent abandonment.

Triggered back into child consciousness one gets stuck.

The thing about an abandoned child is that they feel utterly alone, noone is there. Even though it may only be for periods of time - the experience is still felt as endless.

As an adult triggered back into this child state the endless feeling consumes. In depression one is unreachable. Because this is the triggered state - it's a state of abandonment, utter aloneness. Even if someone is present, even if there are those who try to reach out... they cannot truly touch the depressed person, because to the child consciousness that has taken over, there is no-one there.

This is why a depressed person isolates... and enough of this time alone suicidal ideation is going to emerge, and if the abandonment trauma is strong enough perhaps more. This is because depression is a state of dying.

To be abandoned as a child is to suffer the possibility of death. A child cannot take care of themselves and so they will freeze into catatonia, waiting to be rescued and if noone comes, waiting to die.

Depression is rife in the world. There are minor and major depressions and I believe all of them have their roots in some form of abandonment trauma.

I also am coming to believe in the possibility that it can be healed.

 

[Ruffian]

I am coming to understand that depression is actually a triggered state of being.

A trigger is an emotional flashback where one regresses to a painful and unintegrated childhood state. Triggers are all consuming, we snap out of present moment experience and react disproportionately to the current situation.

To a child emotions are all consuming and when triggered we essentially become overtaken by child consciousness.

How then is depression being triggered?

Consider what are the most common causes of depression - losing a job, financial stress, death of someone close, a painful breakup, being left out, feeling lonely.

What do these things have in common?

Loss.

The root of which I am coming to believe is abandonment.

When a child is physically or emotionally neglected they experience abandonment trauma. When this happens enough times the development of complex trauma symptoms emerge, insecure attachment, depression/anxiety, and so on.

The state of depression is a present moment reenactment of the feeling of being abandoned.

If a child is abandoned enough it is an experience of almost death. To cope some kind of dissasociation is likely to begin. While the child may be able to lift out of these depressed experiences, if enough are experienced without the repair to the attachment injury, the nervous system then stores these painful memories which will then emerge later in adolescence and adulthood when triggered by circumstances that represent abandonment.

Triggered back into child consciousness one gets stuck.

The thing about an abandoned child is that they feel utterly alone, noone is there. Even though it may only be for periods of time - the experience is still felt as endless.

As an adult triggered back into this child state the endless feeling consumes. In depression one is unreachable. Because this is the triggered state - it's a state of abandonment, utter aloneness. Even if someone is present, even if there are those who try to reach out... they cannot truly touch the depressed person, because to the child consciousness that has taken over, there is no-one there.

This is why a depressed person isolates... and enough of this time alone suicidal ideation is going to emerge, and if the abandonment trauma is strong enough perhaps more. This is because depression is a state of dying.

To be abandoned as a child is to suffer the possibility of death. A child cannot take care of themselves and so they will freeze into catatonia, waiting to be rescued and if noone comes, waiting to die.

Depression is rife in the world. There are minor and major depressions and I believe all of them have their roots in some form of abandonment trauma.

I also am coming to believe in the possibility that it can be healed.

This is my main trigger - loss trauma as a child, then repeated unnatural losses as a young adult, followed by several significant losses in 30s and early 40s. My current bf knows when one of us goes, it will be no one afterwards. He has had a lot of loss as well. We're lucky we found each other.

i really liked your way of describing the experience - I can describe almost anything better than my own feelings.