BitterlyAlive
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- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
Someone on here was worried about being an attention seeker and got a reply (paraphrased), "as long as you're supporting others and talking about more than your problems you're fine"
But I must be seeking attention. My emotions are consuming me and it's so hard to think of anything else. I really struggle to support other people because I'm so overwhelmed by my stupid pain. I've always been this way, and there's been recent discourse in the community. I don't want to cause any more by being so selfish. People deserve actual support on here.
At the same time, my brain has been telling me all week that I don't even belong here. I've just been trying to convince myself that I do because I'm so lonely. My friends can't support me, and people I grew to rely on irl don't want me around anymore either. My own parents just see me as an obligation and don't even want to talk to me.
I don't know what to do. I'm just completely dysphoric. I can't keep posting on here, I can't talk about it irl. It's just getting worse and worse and worse. And as it worsens, I have less to say on here anyway. I can't pull my own weight.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I knew this was how I was going to act, I never would have joined.
But I must be seeking attention. My emotions are consuming me and it's so hard to think of anything else. I really struggle to support other people because I'm so overwhelmed by my stupid pain. I've always been this way, and there's been recent discourse in the community. I don't want to cause any more by being so selfish. People deserve actual support on here.
At the same time, my brain has been telling me all week that I don't even belong here. I've just been trying to convince myself that I do because I'm so lonely. My friends can't support me, and people I grew to rely on irl don't want me around anymore either. My own parents just see me as an obligation and don't even want to talk to me.
I don't know what to do. I'm just completely dysphoric. I can't keep posting on here, I can't talk about it irl. It's just getting worse and worse and worse. And as it worsens, I have less to say on here anyway. I can't pull my own weight.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I knew this was how I was going to act, I never would have joined.