Discussion INFP vs. INFJ reasons for suicide

[Hunter]

I guess this is a bit of a niche topic... and yes, this personality typing system is basically akin to astrology. But I can't help but notice the preponderance of people who have INFP or INFJ as their type here, or introverted intuitives in general.

I feel like people who have INFP end up here because their primary function (Fi, i.e. introverted feeling) has been deeply broken in some way. Introverted feeling is about living in accordance with your ideals and if you're a very idealistic person, you're already vulnerable to a cruel awakening. INFPs can get lost in a dreamworld to cope and eventually they pay the price of living in a fantasy. I also feel like this type really values the idea of true love for some reason, so they'd be more prone to killing themselves if the possibility of obtaining that love is taken away. Also this type has low Te (extroverted thinking), so planning, organization, money management, and other practical skills needed to survive in this world don't come naturally to them. That can take a toll after a while.

With INFJs it's a little unclear to me how their primary functions (Ni and Fe) could play into their desire to die. I know extroverted feeling (Fe) is about meeting other people's needs, so I can only imagine if they feel like they're not living up to their own internal ethical compass of who they think they're supposed to be - for the world or others - that could lead to a breaking point where suicide is the only option. Seems like this type has a lot of high standards for themselves and they are not afraid to expend a lot of time and energy trying to get themselves to become that better person... and perhaps if they don't meet that "end goal" for who they are trying to become, they'll want to kill themselves.

Thoughts?

 

[Miss clefable]

I'm a bit of both

 

[Hunter]

I'm a bit of both

Cool, I'm still unclear about INFJs' motive to die. I'm hoping one of them responds to this thread.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I admit I had to Google INFP and INFJ, I've noticed myself that many members exhibit the traits you describe. I was thinking that maybe some had undiagnosed autism.
I probably have traits of both, perfectionism, high standards, unreasonable expectations etc.

 

[sólstafir]

Also this type has low Te (extroverted thinking), so planning, organization, money management, and other practical skills needed to survive in this world don't come naturally to them. That can take a toll after a while.

You're fucked if you're like that. I am.

 

[Jodes]

Thoughts?

It doesn't cover paranoia

 

[Bread]

I'm an INFP. I feel like 90% of what you said explains why my life ended up this way. Guess I'm fucked. I have always suspected it was something to do with my personality, the way I was born, but the people in my life don't want to accept that.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

Aren't INFJ's considered the most idealistic of the types? You already mentioned idealism in regards to INFP's, but I wonder if this holds especially true for the former group (I'm an INFJ as well). The world's pretty bad in general and I find that that fucks me up as well, in addition to personal issues

 

[Buddyluv19]

I'm an INFP. I feel like 90% of what you said explains why my life ended up this way. Guess I'm fucked. I have always suspected it was something to do with my personality, the way I was born, but the people in my life don't want to accept that.

I took the test about 25 years ago. I came out ENFP - BUT, they said my I/E rating was on the 'cusp' - almost too close to call. I think I'm really an INFP and just answered my he questions from the perspective of an 'extrovert' because my job at the time demanded that I be an extrovert.

Thanks for the interesting topic - it's a nice diversion for me - something rare ineed.

 

[Hunter]

I'm an INFP. I feel like 90% of what you said explains why my life ended up this way. Guess I'm fucked. I have always suspected it was something to do with my personality, the way I was born, but the people in my life don't want to accept that.

Being INFP doesn't make you inherently fucked. I know some really happy and well adjusted INFPs in real life. I find it's becsuse they know how to get along well with others.

 

[Hunter]

You're fucked if you're like that. I am.

You can always develop Te so you're not automatically fucked just by being INFP. Just work on developing these skills and you can manage. If hang around people with high Te, like ESTJs, ISTJs, ENTJs, INTJs, you can learn a lot from them. INTJs are the easiest for us to get close to out of that group, it seems, and befriending they taught me a lot about long range planning, efficiency, etc.

 

[Hunter]

Aren't INFJ's considered the most idealistic of the types? You already mentioned idealism in regards to INFP's, but I wonder if this holds especially true for the former group (I'm an INFJ as well). The world's pretty bad in general and I find that that fucks me up as well, in addition to personal issues

INFPs, INFJs, ENFJs and ENFPs are all part of the Idealist temperament group. So they're all driven by abstract ideals and a desire to do good for humanity. I think all of us kind of end up messed up when we finally accept that the world is indeed as bad as you say. I have only seen a handful of INFJs on here, and usually I'm kind of surprised when I see that. Maybe suicide takes a special meaning for INFJs but I'm not sure how. Ha, I was hoping you could tell me.

 

[sólstafir]

You can always develop Te so you're not automatically fucked just by being INFP. Just work on developing these skills and you can manage. If hang around people with high Te, like ESTJs, ISTJs, ENTJs, INTJs, you can learn a lot from them. INTJs are the easiest for us to get close to out of that group, it seems.

I have no idea about being INFP, but that part about not having money management skills resonated with me, so that's why I quoted it. I think I meant I feel fucked because I have no money management skills. You're right, I could develop many others skills too that I lack of but I've lost hope.

 

[Hunter]

I have no idea about being INFP, but that part about not having money management skills resonated with me, so that's why I quoted it. I think I meant I feel fucked because I have no money management skills. You're right, I could develop many others skills too that I lack of but I've lost hope.

There are plenty of online free courses on financial planning and management… Apps that can help you manage your money if you're having a problem with that. Not having enough money is a different problem though.

 

[sólstafir]

There are plenty of online free courses on financial planning and management… Apps that can help you manage your money if you're having a problem with that. Not having enough money is a different problem though.

Are you suicidal too? I plan to die soon, so I think I've given up. Thanks though

 

[Hunter]

Are you suicidal too? I plan to die soon, so I think I've given up. Thanks though

Yes I'm killing myself soon due to irreversible chronic illness and other problems.

 

[sólstafir]

Yes I'm killing myself soon due to irreversible chronic illness and other problems.

Aaaaahhhh... eventhough I don't know you, still so hard to hear. Thank you for kindness towards me.

 

[Thoughtforms]

I'm INFJ and I just feel messed up because of it.
I internalise everything, all I do is think and overthink. I live inside my head which is difficult for other people to understand.

And I relate to what you wrote. I have constant pressure on myself to reach a certain life. I work so hard but I'm failing. It's hard to accept.

 

[Hunter]

I'm INFJ and I just feel messed up because of it.
I internalise everything, all I do is think and overthink. I live inside my head which is difficult for other people to understand.

And I relate to what you wrote. I have constant pressure on myself to reach a certain life. I work so hard but I'm failing. It's hard to accept.

I have known many INFJs in my life and it makes me sad to see them end up here because of the massive potential they would normally have. This type is so good at understanding others and knowing how to help them grow, they're usually great psychotherapists because of that.

They are usually the ones leading small discussion groups in activist spaces, leading quietly, and they tend to stand up for what they believe in (something INFPs tend to be too sensitive to do). I have a lot of admiration for this type but yes, a lot of pressure they put on themselves to meet whatever internal standard they have about themselves. I'm sure you're doing better than you think!

And regarding what you've said about being an internal person, I believe that's a function of your primary skill, Ni (introverted intuition). That means going into yourself and "knowing" what's coming next or why things happen the way they do, but not necessarily knowing why. That can be hard for others to understand when you go inside yourself. It's a mysterious skill that INFJs and INTJs have.

 

[Xaphous]

I'm male and took the test many times and always come out as INFJ. Perceiving too much and analysis paralysis means it's just easier to shut down and hide away.

 

[Hunter]

I'm male and took the test many times and always come out as INFJ. Perceiving too much and analysis paralysis means it's just easier to shut down and hide away.

I heard once that Fe (extroverted feeling) makes INFJs (and also ENFJs who have this in a primary position) super sensitive to the emotional temperature of any social space they enter. Like you can walk into a room, and without a word being said know how people are feeling and why. Always being attuned to other people's feelings/needs seems like it would lead easily to burnout for an introvert.

 

[Thoughtforms]

You have a great perspective!! How comes you know so much about this?

I'm currently working and studying 60-70 hours a week. It's too much and I had a nervous breakdown. Went through a breakup during it too. Yet still don't feel productive enough and was seeking more to take on. I've always thought that I would never feel satisfied.

 

[Xaphous]

I heard once that Fe (extroverted feeling) makes INFJs (and also ENFJs who have this in a primary position) super sensitive to the emotional temperature of any social space they enter. Like you can walk into a room, and without a word being said know how people are feeling and why. Always being attuned to other people's feelings/needs seems like it would lead easily to burnout for an introvert.

Absolutely true, it's like you feel what others feel and even why they are feeling it. No one can say something and mean something else without you sensing that. Everything is registered. On top of that you can't help but notice and want to discuss the deeper meanings to everything which is uncomfortable to most. It leads to being misinterpreted over and over. When we do make bonds with people they are usually very strong. For me I just shut people away and didn't bother with most people because it's exhausting and I know what to expect.

 

[Hunter]

You have a great perspective!! How comes you know so much about this?

I'm currently working and studying 60-70 hours a week. It's too much and I had a nervous breakdown. Went through a breakup during it too. Yet still don't feel productive enough and was seeking more to take on. I've always thought that I would never feel satisfied.

Haha, I used to be really into the Myers Briggs/Jungian personality typing theory. A lot of it is very unreliable but some of it is really on point. I have been close friends with INFJs from being in helping/social justice work and have learned a lot from them... mostly how to lead and not piss too many people off. Also how to be less self-absorbed which INFPs tend to be. You guys really do like to bring out the best in people and yourself.

60-70 hours is a lot, girl. I would say unless you're a living human machine, most people would struggle with a workload like that. Is there a logistical reason you can't slow down or cut back?

 

[Hunter]

Absolutely true, it's like you feel what others feel and even why they are feeling it. No one can say something and mean something else without you sensing that. Everything is registered. On top of that you can't help but notice and want to discuss the deeper meanings to everything which is uncomfortable to most. It leads to being misinterpreted over and over. When we do make bonds with people they are usually very strong. For me I just shut people away and didn't bother with most people because it's exhausting and I know what to expect.

Oh yeah. They'll drain you lol. Sorry if I sound cynical but it's true.

 

[Thoughtforms]

Haha, I used to be really into the Myers Briggs/Jungian personality typing theory. A lot of it is very unreliable but some of it is really on point. I have been close friends with INFJs from being in helping/social justice work and have learned a lot from them... mostly how to lead and not piss too many people off. Also how to be less self-absorbed which INFPs tend to be. You guys really do like to bring out the best in people and yourself.

60-70 hours is a lot, girl. I would say unless you're a living human machine, most people would struggle with a workload like that. Is there a logistical reason you can't slow down or cut back?

That is so interesting !
I am trying to cut down now :*) trying not to place so much value on productivity. But love your perspective. Made me feel much better as I only ever saw INFJ as a negative. Thank you.

 

[Threads]

I am an INFJ.

I'll add more in a bit

 

[Hunter]

I almost forgot how much I like meeting other INFPs... when they're not too lost in the clouds that is. Love to my fellow introverted intuitives. <3

 

[Final Escape]

I guess this is a bit of a niche topic... and yes, this personality typing system is basically akin to astrology. But I can't help but notice the preponderance of people who have INFP or INFJ as their type here, or introverted intuitives in general.

I feel like people who have INFP end up here because their primary function (Fi, i.e. introverted feeling) has been deeply broken in some way. Introverted feeling is about living in accordance with your ideals and if you're a very idealistic person, you're already vulnerable to a cruel awakening. INFPs can get lost in a dreamworld to cope and eventually they pay the price of living in a fantasy. I also feel like this type really values the idea of true love for some reason, so they'd be more prone to killing themselves if the possibility of obtaining that love is taken away. Also this type has low Te (extroverted thinking), so planning, organization, money management, and other practical skills needed to survive in this world don't come naturally to them. That can take a toll after a while.

With INFJs it's a little unclear to me how their primary functions (Ni and Fe) could play into their desire to die. I know extroverted feeling (Fe) is about meeting other people's needs, so I can only imagine if they feel like they're not living up to their own internal ethical compass of who they think they're supposed to be - for the world or others - that could lead to a breaking point where suicide is the only option. Seems like this type has a lot of high standards for themselves and they are not afraid to expend a lot of time and energy trying to get themselves to become that better person... and perhaps if they don't meet that "end goal" for who they are trying to become, they'll want to kill themselves.

Thoughts?

I'm an infp, it's a curse, but maybe in a different life and place it could have been useful.