Discussion Infertility/Child Loss

[Punished]

My story: had to use infertility treatments to get pregnant, finally had success, but ended in a full-term stillbirth last year.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for years, but finally had a stretch of wellness long enough to feel confident in building a family. In the aftermath of losing my baby, my physical and mental health have declined rapidly. I want so so badly to try again, but I am terrified.
I don't know if planning for a future will give me strength to recover. I don't know if trying and failing will send me over the edge. I don't know if expecting another baby will make any difference, and I'll end up ending it all anyway and hurting another innocent person in the process.
Anyone else here struggling with these issues? It can be so isolating, like a taboo topic. I feel like my friends and family pull away so fast if I bring it up.

 

[Mr2005]

I'm trying to get my girlfriend pregnant but so far it hasn't worked. A combination of my docile sperm and her age and weight. I don't really want one but it's what she wants and ultimately that's why I'm doing it. I've been judged pretty harshly for it but they're not in my position. It's hard to know what the right thing is

 

[Robbyna]

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Have you spoken to anyone? If you haven't it's at least worth a shot. I don't know if it's helpful to mention adoption and fostering. I know it's not the same, but I know some people who were adopted and they adore their parents and their parents feel the same way about them. If you aren't opposed to it keeping that as an option if you have any more issues with fertility may help you keep prospective. If your goal is to build and nurture a family there are so many ways to do that. I hope you find hope.

 

[pole]

My story: had to use infertility treatments to get pregnant, finally had success, but ended in a full-term stillbirth last year.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for years, but finally had a stretch of wellness long enough to feel confident in building a family. In the aftermath of losing my baby, my physical and mental health have declined rapidly. I want so so badly to try again, but I am terrified.
I don't know if planning for a future will give me strength to recover. I don't know if trying and failing will send me over the edge. I don't know if expecting another baby will make any difference, and I'll end up ending it all anyway and hurting another innocent person in the process.
Anyone else here struggling with these issues? It can be so isolating, like a taboo topic. I feel like my friends and family pull away so fast if I bring it up.

so sorry for what you've gone through, that's beyond terrible. maybe adopting might be interesting? if thats a topic to explore, when you find closure. sorry again :(

hope you find the peace that you're looking for.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

I'm trying to get my girlfriend pregnant but so far it hasn't worked. A combination of my docile sperm and her age and weight. I don't really want one but it's what she wants and ultimately that's why I'm doing it. I've been judged pretty harshly for it but they're not in my position. It's hard to know what the right thing is

Hi there, just wondering, has your girlfriend conceived? Struggling with infertility myself and saw this reply and I got to wondering since it's been awhile.

 

[Mr2005]

Hi there, just wondering, has your girlfriend conceived? Struggling with infertility myself and saw this reply and I got to wondering since it's been awhile.

Damn it really has. That was my 33rd birthday. Coming up 34th (same day every year) . No it hasn't worked. Still trying though. Gives me something to do

 

[Fedrea]

My story: had to use infertility treatments to get pregnant, finally had success, but ended in a full-term stillbirth last year.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for years, but finally had a stretch of wellness long enough to feel confident in building a family. In the aftermath of losing my baby, my physical and mental health have declined rapidly. I want so so badly to try again, but I am terrified.
I don't know if planning for a future will give me strength to recover. I don't know if trying and failing will send me over the edge. I don't know if expecting another baby will make any difference, and I'll end up ending it all anyway and hurting another innocent person in the process.
Anyone else here struggling with these issues? It can be so isolating, like a taboo topic. I feel like my friends and family pull away so fast if I bring it up.

Yes, I spent many years fighting to be physically well enough to be a mother. Now I don't think I'm physically or mentally well enough, yet the biological drive to be a mother doesn't die. I am here if you want to talk.