P
Punished
Member
- Jun 17, 2019
- 27
My story: had to use infertility treatments to get pregnant, finally had success, but ended in a full-term stillbirth last year.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for years, but finally had a stretch of wellness long enough to feel confident in building a family. In the aftermath of losing my baby, my physical and mental health have declined rapidly. I want so so badly to try again, but I am terrified.
I don't know if planning for a future will give me strength to recover. I don't know if trying and failing will send me over the edge. I don't know if expecting another baby will make any difference, and I'll end up ending it all anyway and hurting another innocent person in the process.
Anyone else here struggling with these issues? It can be so isolating, like a taboo topic. I feel like my friends and family pull away so fast if I bring it up.
I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts for years, but finally had a stretch of wellness long enough to feel confident in building a family. In the aftermath of losing my baby, my physical and mental health have declined rapidly. I want so so badly to try again, but I am terrified.
I don't know if planning for a future will give me strength to recover. I don't know if trying and failing will send me over the edge. I don't know if expecting another baby will make any difference, and I'll end up ending it all anyway and hurting another innocent person in the process.
Anyone else here struggling with these issues? It can be so isolating, like a taboo topic. I feel like my friends and family pull away so fast if I bring it up.