Indirect Suicide Methods, aka, MicroCTB or Slow Suicide

[Marty McFly]

Hey everyone, been a member of this site for 6 years now (28M). I've had multiple attempts at this point and have come to the conclusion that I do not have what it takes for immediate and final action to exit this world. Lots of pain in the attempts and the punishments of surviving by being locked in a psych ward have me afraid of repeating those consequences and more. So, I have decided to stop caring for myself in the following ways:

1) Junk food only
2) No exercise
3) Copious amounts of alcohol, weed, nicotine, and poppers every day
4) Bad dental hygiene and general neglect elsewhere
5) General stress due to being alive and having BPD
6) Self harm

What else can I do? I really wish I could invoke some form of terminal illness where I refuse treatment. Does anyone else have any ideas? I'm afraid that the 8 drinks a night I'm having aren't damaging my liver enough. Unfortunately I hate cigs, so I just stick to nicotine pouches. In the past I have tried to contract HIV and not take treatment, but something about that doesn't feel active enough and I still take my PrEP daily. I don't even have sex anymore though.

I don't know why I prefer to have my suicide more drawn out and appearing to be more "natural", but here I am. I'm just trying to wrap things up but the damn bus is late!

Thanks in advance everyone.

 

[dolemitedrums]

You're only 28. You're probably not going to obesify yourself to death any time in even the moderately distant future. May as well stay in shape and enjoy the better quality of life that brings. Also intentionally engaging in poor dental hygiene falls into the same category I would say. Take at least average care of your teeth and don't condemn yourself to grossing people out and what that will bring, plus you won't be dying of your teeth anytime soon either.

Honestly I would say to this...get busy living or get busy dying. But just lowering your own quality of life and appeal to others isn't going to achieve much that is good.

 

[feelinggloomy]

I've considered letting my health go. In fact I have. Im older and have no plans to go to the doctor or address any health issues that might arise

 

[dopaminedeath]

Sounds like you will turn into a monster for a long, long, long* time before any sign of death

 

[sugarh1gh]

If your goal is to damage the liver, tylenol is better choice than alcohol.

 

[Ww42]

You'll live potential decades before dying from any of that. You'll just make yourself more miserable in life.

 

[vitbar]

If you're afraid of the pain of attempting suicide then I don't know how you face decades of pain from not looking after yourself like this.

 

[Ampsvx123]

U can live very long eating pizzas, not so much eating nothing but desserts.
Cancer is dangerously painless because there are no nerves alive, nothing to transmit distress signals to the brain. u wouldn't even know if u have cancer if it weren't for the lethargy. The lack of pain is what makes cancer so deadly. Cancer only becomes an issue on stage 4, u would be crippled with fatigue and worse, u would not live long. I would never attempt dying this way/junkfood, unless i have heard decisive testimonies from people on their last week on stage 4 and claiming it ain't that bad.

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Being overweight can lead to diabetes and high blood pressure but those can take a while to kill you. They both run in my family and it can take decades of mismanagement and not taking medication to kill you.

The human body can survive a long time through misery and through pain. My mother's heart kept on beating even after her brain died. It's both interesting and scary to think about.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

A quick suicide is preferable to a long life with debilitating and painful conditions. Health is wealth.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I managed to get type 2 diabetes at age 26 by drinking Starbucks Frappuccinos everyday so that's one way to contribute to ruining your health. Dying from diabetes complications is my Plan Z in case none of my actual suicide plans work out so I can understand where you're coming from.

If you want another way of really damaging your health long term, try to intentionally get less sleep than you'd want every day. Do whatever you can to stay up as long as possible and wake up quickly. It's probably going to feel really painful though.

 

[Ampsvx123]

This method is pure 'doom', once ur liver and kidneys are dead, there is no coming back, there is no long life, there is no mean to rise and work and love. There is no hope. Hopeless souls are reckless and self-destructive, they do not last long on Earth...

 

[Illegal Preclear]

While MicroCTBing sounds so ideal, especially for me - I'm afraid it doesn't quite work that way. The human body fucking sucks - it's practically a perfect prison cell that will endure damage to EXTREMES before giving in - and before it gives in, it will become disabled. It's like a Chinese finger trap - the more you try and leave your body, the tighter the body's grip becomes on you. Becoming disabled will only make CTBing harder.

In the past I have tried to contract HIV and not take treatment

I've actually thought about going the bug chasing route myself, back when I used to leave my house. It'd be a good way to ensure a coward like myself can't back out of death - but death by AIDS is painful, and if I'm going to suffer, I'd rather suffer a few minutes worth of hanging than a few years worth of AIDS.

However, there is ONE BUG you can chase that has a near 100% fatality rate - and I preface this by saying I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. THIS IS A BRUTAL WAY TO DIE. Rabies. Granted, I don't know how you would go about tracking a rabid animal, but it's an interesting disease. You won't be surviving, but I can't stress enough how brutal the suffering is before death.

I've actually been researching other quick-acting very fatal diseases you normally wouldn't think about out of curiosity and seeing if any of them have viability as a CTB method. That and poisonous insect and animal bites.

As far as my own MicroCTBing - And this is very stupid and probably has very small odds of causing death, but I do it because I enjoy it: I play around with slugs and let them chew on my fingers. Slugs and snails carry a parasite called 'lungworm' which can be fatal in humans. It's a longshot, to be sure, but...I enjoy handling slugs anyway (and cool creepy crawlies and insects in general) so it would be cool if my little friends resulted in my death.

But I digress - OP, I'm assuming you don't have access to a firearm? Because that would be a lot quicker and painless than slow bodily decay.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Shame you don't like cigarettes, that would accelerate the process, probably faster than all of your other methods combined (aside from drinking, maybe)

all jokes aside though, doing those things will likely only make your life more difficult, without shortening it in the capacity you're probably hoping for

 

[martinso67]

Something like this "method" can happen unintentionally.
Like I am "slowly" dying. I have somewhat high blood pressure and I am underweight because of unknown medical issues.
I also have tinnitus and feel fatigued many times. My BMI is an a range that is dangerous and unhealthy. Though I am eating enough and healthy , but I am still below 18,5 BMI. Doctors can't really help me, but I did a blood work and searched for parameters on my own. I found the weird or unhealthy parameters. But I need a medical person to interpret and offer solution for them. Google and my basic medical knowledge is not enough to solve this problem.

I am dying slowly unintentionally and I don't want that method. I want a fast and peaceful death like N.
Sorry if this was off topic, but I feel ignored and like in jail surrounded with NPCs/robots.

 

[Defenestration]

your post touched me a lot. don't do this you will destroy your body and you will suffer for a long time without dying

 

[Don’tDoxMe]

I've done all of these for basically all of my life except #3 and I'm still alive, so.

 

[girlsboysthems]

i try doing something similar except drugs and drink everyda, no food, no water, dental hygiene yees bc dentists do be expensive in case i live to see the 30 digits, exercise, work, and as soon as they pass the euthaniasia bill ill start taking copious amounts of paracetamol and ibuprofen eevertday and hopefully something starts failing. transplants wont be an option bc i of drugs.

the no food no water is hard, but its really more a bit food and maybe a glass of piss energy drinks per day. im hoping it works.

 

[suffering_mo]

@Marty McFly Do you mind sharing what attempts have failed? None of that stuff you mentioned is going to kill you but only harm you.