Venting inaction making things worse

[bitcrushing]

i went out to go take a look at some train tracks i was planning to throw myself under today or some day evetually.

couldn't even get close after getting spooked by cars driving perpendicular over the bridge and past the trail along the tracks, and by a guy walking a herd of german shepards in pitch black. the cold made things worse, i was only thinking of getting it over with up until till that point or making my way to shelter from the wind as soon as i could.

im back home now crying and wishing that i had the courage to do something i knew i should have ages ago. if i dont do it now i know for a fact that things are only going to get so much worse, but im stuck with no way out and forced to watch my life become even more of a trainwreck than it already is. this is one of the few things i should have control over and yet i dont.

 

[F@#$]

Can you go further up or down the tracks to find a more secluded spot a tunnel maybe?

 

[bitcrushing]

Can you go further up or down the tracks to find a more secluded spot a tunnel maybe?

yeah, the path along the tracks diverges at the entrance into fields and pastures as you go further down, probably fairly accessible as long as it doesn't rain. i didnt want a car pulling out from the property next to the entrance seeing me which made me turn back right away

 

[F@#$]

Cool,I guess I'm not familiar with that area. I just know train tracks can be pretty remote.