Inability to feel love?

[notofthisworld]

I've been married for 20 years, and have fallen out of love with not only it, but an indifferent family of foreign culture and the world at large. Of those who've endured, do you find that depression makes marriage more of a "contract or obligation" rather than one of union, love and belonging? More platonic and less romantic? When your spouse tries to make it a "fairy tale" is it more of a nightmare for yourself?

Can you imagine telling your spouse "till death do we part, voluntarily or involuntary"? That "better or worse" doesn't really matter?

 

[jodes2]

I'd be like that if I got married I think. Been together 10 years. Don't like the idea of marriage, it seems like it forces you into something one might not necessarily want. I'd feel the same I think

 

[Cryptonite]

Personally, I've always had problems with feeling genuine love. On one hand, it is quite sad, on the other hand, it doesn't bother me too much. If I could live my life, I'd stay single forever and feel pretty content about it.

But generally speaking, marriage or even a monogamous relationship is an example of yet another social construct that everyone tends to follow, even though it is dysfunctional. Just like having children. Broken couples, unhappy lives. Divorce rates are through the roof. Still, people give in to this idea of an fairy tale and/or they're pressured into it by society.

Not to mention the loss of freedom. Loss of free time, loss of independent decisionmaking, loss of sexual freedom. It is a voluntary prison.

 

[cowie]

I have not been married but I have to say when I have pursued romantic relationships in the past, I sometimes felt I was chasing a "fairy tale" romance that only existed in movies. I think I was hoping that trying to achieve something like that would give my life purpose and meaning. I think a lot of people chase that fantasy to fill the void. But they shouldn't continue to do so if their partner is unhappy or wants something else.

I also think a lot of relationships become more platonic the longer they go on. It's just the nature of time. There is less mystery and less flirting because you aren't trying to impress anyone. Unfortunately, that's just how it seems to be. Your feelings are valid.

 

[DysphoriaKilledMe]

I have no more sexual or romantic desire. At this point, a relationship couldn't save me. Depression sucks the passion out of someone.