Venting Inability to feel happy emotions

[TheLastSacrifice]

I am unable to experience any positive emotions due to the breakups with my wife. I think I have a mental problem but everything I feel is fear and anxiety. Even pets or animals give me no comfort. I can't watch a movie or TV show. I see someone do a sex scene I'm imagining my wife might be doing that, if I see people in a mundane everyday situation, my mind will find a way to tie it to my wife and remind me. I can't even watch a porno or see a couple holding hands at the store without feeling utterly traumatized. I spend all day In a room at my dad's house trying to plan a rational way to fix my life. The whole time I have so much anxiety I don't want to sit down. When I sit down I don't want to get up. I just sit or stand there with my body locked up until I'm stiff then I workout for like 4 hours. I cry myself to sleep everynight for 4 months. People all keep telling me how the heartbreak should heal and that its not that bad. But it hasn't healed and it is that bad. It's bad enough to kill me.

I am unable to experience any positive emotions due to the breakups with my wife. I think I have a mental problem but everything I feel is fear and anxiety. Even pets or animals give me no comfort. I can't watch a movie or TV show. I see someone do a sex scene I'm imagining my wife might be doing that, if I see people in a mundane everyday situation, my mind will find a way to tie it to my wife and remind me. I can't even watch a porno or see a couple holding hands at the store without feeling utterly traumatized. I spend all day In a room at my dad's house trying to plan a rational way to fix my life. The whole time I have so much anxiety I don't want to sit down. When I sit down I don't want to get up. I just sit or stand there with my body locked up until I'm stiff then I workout for like 4 hours. I cry myself to sleep everynight for 4 months. People all keep telling me how the heartbreak should heal and that its not that bad. But it hasn't healed and it is that bad. It's bad enough to kill me. Btw I don't want to ctb only because of a breakup with my wife. Hell we might not even be done. Based on past history, we probably aren't. Maybe we should be. I'll never have the will to end the relationship myself like so many suggest. I wish I could. Im just not capable of that. I believe there is a whipping sound effect created just for guys like me..

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm in the same boat as you. Husband of 11 years left me recently, some days are better than others but every day is somewhat bad. I'm sorry your hurting this way I know all too well how awful it feels. Maybe it's because it's Valentine's Day maybe because it's my birthday I don't know but today I was particularly bad. I didn't even care that the kids were home I just wanted to leave and take care of it I was ready to go I wasn't even scared or sad. I put the kids to bed at a reasonable time, and got completely stoned off my ass. All my responsibilities are asleep, and I figured it would be better to get stoned rather than kill myself tonight.

I wish there were something I could say to you or do for you that would make it better, but I know how much of an open wound it is. I'm here if you need a friend.

 

[escapefromabuse]

...and I make three in the same boat. I'm also stoned @RoseyBird :).

 

[Ghost2211]

...and I make three in the same boat. I'm also stoned @RoseyBird :).

I feel much happier now. I hope it's helping you as well

 

[TheLastSacrifice]

I'm in the same boat as you. Husband of 11 years left me recently, some days are better than others but every day is somewhat bad. I'm sorry your hurting this way I know all too well how awful it feels. Maybe it's because it's Valentine's Day maybe because it's my birthday I don't know but today I was particularly bad. I didn't even care that the kids were home I just wanted to leave and take care of it I was ready to go I wasn't even scared or sad. I put the kids to bed at a reasonable time, and got completely stoned off my ass. All my responsibilities are asleep, and I figured it would be better to get stoned rather than kill myself tonight.

I wish there were something I could say to you or do for you that would make it better, but I know how much of an open wound it is. I'm here if you need a friend.

I could use a friend. Honestly. Not to assume...but if you're feeling like me then you could too.

...and I make three in the same boat. I'm also stoned @RoseyBird :).

Ran out of weed this morning. Trying to stop. Why idk.

 

[Ghost2211]

I could use a friend. Honestly. Not to assume...but if you're feeling like me then you could too.

my inbox is always open :)

 

[TheLastSacrifice]

I'm in the same boat as you. Husband of 11 years left me recently, some days are better than others but every day is somewhat bad. I'm sorry your hurting this way I know all too well how awful it feels. Maybe it's because it's Valentine's Day maybe because it's my birthday I don't know but today I was particularly bad. I didn't even care that the kids were home I just wanted to leave and take care of it I was ready to go I wasn't even scared or sad. I put the kids to bed at a reasonable time, and got completely stoned off my ass. All my responsibilities are asleep, and I figured it would be better to get stoned rather than kill myself tonight.

I wish there were something I could say to you or do for you that would make it better, but I know how much of an open wound it is. I'm here if you need a friend.

It's okay. Its not going to hurt for much longer. Im making sure of that. Thinking about tomorrow being the day. I've never before been to a point like now where I actually know I'm ready where I could plan a day...until now. Until now I've only been able to focus on the methods.
For some reason I still can't private message. Can't remember how many posts to unlock

 

[SuicideBoys93]

I know the feeling all too well. I feel like my marriage is on the brink. The sad thing is, is that I know she deserves better. She knows how my head is, and I'm trying to figure it out. I know I have sooooo much more to offer to my wife, but feel like my mind pulls me right back in. I'm afraid I'll push her too far away that she'll eventually leave. I don't blame her, but ultimately know, nobody will ever love my wife like I love her. I just can't get out from underneath my own two feet. I don't want to start medication because I grew up in a home where I watched my mom have bad nights even with medication. The feeling of betting all of my happiness on a pill bottle scares the hell out of me. But it may be time, because I'm starting to think my life will depend on it. If you want to reach out I check the page often throughout the day and will reach out to you.

 

[TheLastSacrifice]

I know the feeling all too well. I feel like my marriage is on the brink. The sad thing is, is that I know she deserves better. She knows how my head is, and I'm trying to figure it out. I know I have sooooo much more to offer to my wife, but feel like my mind pulls me right back in. I'm afraid I'll push her too far away that she'll eventually leave. I don't blame her, but ultimately know, nobody will ever love my wife like I love her. I just can't get out from underneath my own two feet. I don't want to start medication because I grew up in a home where I watched my mom have bad nights even with medication. The feeling of betting all of my happiness on a pill bottle scares the hell out of me. But it may be time, because I'm starting to think my life will depend on it. If you want to reach out I check the page often throughout the day and will reach out to you.

Then fight for her. Now! Do everything you can if she isn't abusive to you. Fight!

 

[farid]

I hope and wish you should feel better . passing of time will change everything and causes to feel better.