Story In so much debt I can’t do this anymore x

[Winter_Flower]

I'm currently unable to work due to my mental health and live off benefits. I'm fortunate to own my own house, with a mortgage which isn't that high due to a previous long term relationship ending and the proceeds from the sale of the house split between us I was able to keep myself on the property ladder.

But because of past trauma I've struggled with my mental health for many years. I'm now 40 and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm self harming and crying daily. Also I'm nearly £11,000 in debt due to credit cards, borrowing money off my parents (which I have never done because I've always been independent of them for various of reasons) as my heating broke when I first moved in this house and cost me £4000 to fix.

Every month I'm managing the payments on everything, just. Which I know is a positive. But while I'm paying this off I'm left with hardly anything. My house needs new windows, doors, kitchen and bathroom. Each season that goes by they are getting in even more of a state, especially my rotten windows and drafty front door. Winter is on its way again and I can't afford to replace them.

I need ways to make some etc money to pay off my debts quicker but I'm clueless on what to do. I've sold virtually everything I have that I class as a luxury. My bike, dslr camera, bike rack, two other cameras, most of my nice clothes, shoes etc. I'm just left with the basics now. I also realise that I am very lucky to have a home etc. But this debt is killing me as well as my other issues I struggle with.

I really don't know what to do. I can't go another five or six years paying the debt whilst my house falls into disrepair. I can't sell the house because it needs work and I will lose money on it. And as I'm on benefits I can't remortgage or move anyway as there is no way a mortgage lender would help.

Sorry for the long post, but I've been cutting and bloodletting everyday this week and needed to talk. I need to make some extra money on the side but I don't know how. This is killing me as well as my mental health x I'm about ready to ctb soon if this doesn't get any better xx

 

[Partial-Elf]

Sounds painful, I'm sad to hear it's played out like this for you. Everyone is always so willing to help after you've killed yourself but before? "They really need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get their shit together" etc.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Debt/unemplotment is one of the top reasons people ctb so what your expressing is very normal and makes sense. Its hard to give advise because you say you want you want to make money, but dont know how and cant work cause of your mental illness. I mean, if you are completely debilitated, I get that. Some people are so damaged, they cant do tasks and so in the end they might as well ctb. But maybe there is a side hustle you can do? I think that people desperate for money can get pretty creative, even the crazy ones.... lol. Also, it sounds like your alone and need help? If one has to try and manage it all on your own I can also see why it would be overwhelming.

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear! I'm in huge debt as well and ctb fixes debt quickly...for myself it will
Peace/hugs

 

[JimFord99]

From the £ I gather you are UK based. Have you tried citizens advice bureau? They can and will help and advice to proceed with money issues.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I mean, long posts are ok, we're not afraid to read.
I can just hug you, because I don't know what to advise.

Sounds painful, I'm sad to hear it's played out like this for you. Everyone is always so willing to help after you've killed yourself but before? "They really need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get their shit together" etc.

I can't agree more. People want to stop suicides but they don't want to stop problems leading to suicides.
EDIT: I am thinking... What about making a charity collection (idk how to say it in English)? You say your story and good people pay you. I mean I don't know, never tried it, but maybe it would work. Anyone knows more about getting money this way?

 

[BipolarExpat]

Everyone is always so willing to help after you've killed yourself but before? "They really need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get their shit together" etc.

Truer words....

I racked up unforgivable CC debt on my last manic high. Even with a relatively high paying position, I'm just paying minimums. It's BIG fuel for anxiety. Not the only fuel but big nonetheless.

Sorry Winter Flower. It does seem like mental illnesses often compound as one ages but maybe not for everyone.

On the subject of money/work and illness. I'm petrified and a bit older than you. As I steadily get less able to care for myself, I feel the homeless streets calling (back in the US where I have no real base, insurance or even feeling of home).

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

I'm currently unable to work due to my mental health and live off benefits. I'm fortunate to own my own house, with a mortgage which isn't that high due to a previous long term relationship ending and the proceeds from the sale of the house split between us I was able to keep myself on the property ladder.

But because of past trauma I've struggled with my mental health for many years. I'm now 40 and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm self harming and crying daily. Also I'm nearly £11,000 in debt due to credit cards, borrowing money off my parents (which I have never done because I've always been independent of them for various of reasons) as my heating broke when I first moved in this house and cost me £4000 to fix.

Every month I'm managing the payments on everything, just. Which I know is a positive. But while I'm paying this off I'm left with hardly anything. My house needs new windows, doors, kitchen and bathroom. Each season that goes by they are getting in even more of a state, especially my rotten windows and drafty front door. Winter is on its way again and I can't afford to replace them.

I need ways to make some etc money to pay off my debts quicker but I'm clueless on what to do. I've sold virtually everything I have that I class as a luxury. My bike, dslr camera, bike rack, two other cameras, most of my nice clothes, shoes etc. I'm just left with the basics now. I also realise that I am very lucky to have a home etc. But this debt is killing me as well as my other issues I struggle with.

I really don't know what to do. I can't go another five or six years paying the debt whilst my house falls into disrepair. I can't sell the house because it needs work and I will lose money on it. And as I'm on benefits I can't remortgage or move anyway as there is no way a mortgage lender would help.

Sorry for the long post, but I've been cutting and bloodletting everyday this week and needed to talk. I need to make some extra money on the side but I don't know how. This is killing me as well as my mental health x I'm about ready to ctb soon if this doesn't get any better xx

I have been left with £35,000 debt by my ex and no house. Just rent now. There are debt charities in the UK if you live there that can help. Try contracting them?
I will never be able to pay my debt off. Told it will take 60 years! I'm pretty much screwed for the rest of my life. Can't get credit, a mortgage or anything. That's one of the reasons I want to CTB but not the only one.

 

[SinisterKid]

Have you considered shared ownership? The housing market in the UK is now so inflated, a lot of people cannot afford to buy property. So a lot of builders and housing associations are building homes geared to shared ownership. Some, you pay rent on the part you dont own. Not much good in your case. But others allow you to staircase [buy shares as you go] or stick to a set scheme of ownership with anything from 25% to 75% on offer. That is one option you need to seriously explore.

If you dont have the wherewithal to repair your house, you are losing money the longer you hold on to it. So it could be time to cut your loses. The house will have some equity in it, depending where you live, and that could mean you have a little bit left once the mortgage is repayed which can go towards reducing the debt. You need to speak to welfare rights to make sure you are getting all you should be getting. Speak to CA as already mentioned. Speak to local Housing Associations about the possibility of rehousing if you sell up.

Most of what you talk about is fixable, but you need to take some form of action and soon. Doing nothing will only exacerbate the problems. I am in a similar position right now and have been surprised what is available as far as options go. I get PIP until 2021 and can get a mortgage. I can go repayment or interest only, which is another thing you should look at. A fixed rate or interest only will give you some breathing space in that regard.

 

[WelcomingPain]

Damn, I'd help you if I could, but Idk how to transfer money internationally. The most I have to give right now is $3000, which is about £2300. And I do have to take care of myself too... If you need anything, feel free to talk to me or anyone else. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would definitely help you, including me

 

[Winter_Flower]

I mean, long posts are ok, we're not afraid to read.
I can just hug you, because I don't know what to advise.

I can't agree more. People want to stop suicides but they don't want to stop problems leading to suicides.
EDIT: I am thinking... What about making a charity collection (idk how to say it in English)? You say your story and good people pay you. I mean I don't know, never tried it, but maybe it would work. Anyone knows more about getting money this way?

I wouldn't know where to start with that and if I'm honest I'd feel so bad doing it. It's all my own fault I'm in this mess and I need to get out of it myself even if it means ctb. I'm so tired right now, my emotions are all over the place. I can't even bring myself to sleep as I don't want the nightmares x My actual dream is to either work in the nhs again which I doubt will ever happen again or run a dog day care business. But I'm not allowed dreams. I've been told my a family member to 'get real and pull myself together' this week. Thank you so much for your replies x

Damn, I'd help you if I could, but Idk how to transfer money internationally. The most I have to give right now is $3000, which is about £2300. And I do have to take care of myself too... If you need anything, feel free to talk to me or anyone else. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would definitely help you, including me

That's really kind of you but it's my mess and it wouldn't be fair to take advantage of anyone else's generosity xx There some unbelievably kind people out there and you are truly one of them x

Debt/unemplotment is one of the top reasons people ctb so what your expressing is very normal and makes sense. Its hard to give advise because you say you want you want to make money, but dont know how and cant work cause of your mental illness. I mean, if you are completely debilitated, I get that. Some people are so damaged, they cant do tasks and so in the end they might as well ctb. But maybe there is a side hustle you can do? I think that people desperate for money can get pretty creative, even the crazy ones.... lol. Also, it sounds like your alone and need help? If one has to try and manage it all on your own I can also see why it would be overwhelming.

Any ideas on a side hustle would be great. My mind is so troubled right now I can't even think to the future x

Have you considered shared ownership? The housing market in the UK is now so inflated, a lot of people cannot afford to buy property. So a lot of builders and housing associations are building homes geared to shared ownership. Some, you pay rent on the part you dont own. Not much good in your case. But others allow you to staircase [buy shares as you go] or stick to a set scheme of ownership with anything from 25% to 75% on offer. That is one option you need to seriously explore.

If you dont have the wherewithal to repair your house, you are losing money the longer you hold on to it. So it could be time to cut your loses. The house will have some equity in it, depending where you live, and that could mean you have a little bit left once the mortgage is repayed which can go towards reducing the debt. You need to speak to welfare rights to make sure you are getting all you should be getting. Speak to CA as already mentioned. Speak to local Housing Associations about the possibility of rehousing if you sell up.

Most of what you talk about is fixable, but you need to take some form of action and soon. Doing nothing will only exacerbate the problems. I am in a similar position right now and have been surprised what is available as far as options go. I get PIP until 2021 and can get a mortgage. I can go repayment or interest only, which is another thing you should look at. A fixed rate or interest only will give you some breathing space in that regard.

I already have a mortgage and claim esa/universal credit and pip. I tried to remortgage last year but was told as I'm on benefits I couldn't. May I ask who your mortgage is with and did you apply whilst on pip? xx

 

[WelcomingPain]

You could try starting a YouTube channel for a side hustle. Reading reddit posts has become very popular as of late. I started a Youtube channel myself, and although it's not much, the money I've earned has helped me

 

[SinisterKid]

I have just had a mortgage approved as there are a couple of shared ownership properties near me I am interested in. I obviously needed to know how much I could borrow before going any further. So yes, just approved after switching from the old DLA to PIP. You dont want to remortgage, you want to start again if possible. If your current property is too run down for you to afford to repair it, then you need to sell ASAP. Then look at shared ownership in your area and see what kind of mortgage you might be able to get.

I am approved with a local BS/bank that look after my pension and some other financial stuff, so I am already a customer of theirs and it made sense to sound them out first.

 

[Rachel74]

Sounds like you are in the uk?
If so was any of these debt taken out etc while you was ill? If so it's not your fault. Please get in contact with Mind and citizens advise bureau.

 

[Winter_Flower]

Sounds like you are in the uk?
If so was any of these debt taken out etc while you was ill? If so it's not your fault. Please get in contact with Mind and citizens advise bureau.

Yes they were. Some of them anyway x

I have just had a mortgage approved as there are a couple of shared ownership properties near me I am interested in. I obviously needed to know how much I could borrow before going any further. So yes, just approved after switching from the old DLA to PIP. You dont want to remortgage, you want to start again if possible. If your current property is too run down for you to afford to repair it, then you need to sell ASAP. Then look at shared ownership in your area and see what kind of mortgage you might be able to get.

I am approved with a local BS/bank that look after my pension and some other financial stuff, so I am already a customer of theirs and it made sense to sound them out first.

That makes sense. It needs new windows, door, kitchen, bathroom etc. That's going to cost thousands. Might be worth me going to ask mine then, I thought I'd originally asked but at the time tsb weren't lending as they had to renew their systems due to splitting from Lloyd's and the contracts running out to use their systems. I know, that sounds crazy!! But true x That was a year ago so might be worth trying again x

 

[Rachel74]

I had the debts I'd taken out while in a manic episode written off. My Dr at the time was amazing did a report to say I was irresponsible when I was manic and any actions should be dismissed as I didn't know what I was doing.
Some of it I remember and spending £8k in a week on clothes!

 

[Winter_Flower]

I had the debts I'd taken out while in a manic episode written off. My Dr at the time was amazing did a report to say I was irresponsible when I was manic and any actions should be dismissed as I didn't know what I was doing.
Some of it I remember and spending £8k in a week on clothes!

Wow! What kind of process did you go through to get that done may I ask? I didn't know that could happen x

 

[Rachel74]

First of all go to CAB. Explain the debts and that they were taken out when you had an episode so you were not responsible for your actions.
My Dr and Pdoc who I do see regular know my periods so it was recorded. The ones that I took out were written off the others were put on a debt plan via CAB and I paid off what I could a week.
Don't talk to anyone that not official as they will try and get you into an IVA or go bankrupt.
My 1st time I did declare bankruptcy not knowing but the 2nd and last time I spoke to Mind who were amazing. They will help you so much. I used to dredge a knock on the door incase it was a balliff.
Feel free to PM if you need any help or phone numbers.

 

[JimFord99]

First of all go to CAB. Explain the debts and that they were taken out when you had an episode so you were not responsible for your actions.
My Dr and Pdoc who I do see regular know my periods so it was recorded. The ones that I took out were written off the others were put on a debt plan via CAB and I paid off what I could a week.
Don't talk to anyone that not official as they will try and get you into an IVA or go bankrupt.
My 1st time I did declare bankruptcy not knowing but the 2nd and last time I spoke to Mind who were amazing. They will help you so much. I used to dredge a knock on the door incase it was a balliff.
Feel free to PM if you need any help or phone numbers.

And bloody hell stay away from tv advertised loans and unregulated money lenders.