Venting (-: in order for recovery to be possible you have to put on a mask again and pretend like everything is fine :-)

[cowbain]

even tho putting on the mask is what killed you in the first place


you **cannot** be human! ew no, that's gross


you're only allowed to exist through society's cultivated expectations of you, which will be shared by everyone you know and meet. because we're all being nourished to follow the same protocol. is this making you feel good? are you happy now? ha, that question doesn't matter because you should be! :DDD





REMINDER! : don't be you! well, unless it benefits someone else ;)

 

[Freedom Believer]

Story of my educational career.

 

[k75]

If you're still wearing the mask, it's not really recovery, is it?

 

[Jean4]

If you're still wearing the mask, it's not really recovery, is it?

Perfectly said.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I've refused to play the game and suffered for it.


I think there is a middle way ... although , it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time.

( Listening to "shape of my heart" by Sting , on repeat ... oldster moozic...
I put the stereo on for the first time in a while... listening as I read this post , so prompted me to comment.)

I have wondered if this is why drama is taught in school ?

I have commented before about the whole tension between legitimacy / authenticity thing and the culturally accepted "behaviors" we need to exhibit to be accepted.

( I understand it goes deeper ... I refer to the whole "Things are great" "play the game" "get ahead" crowd as "collaborators" , in that 'bad' way ... so it is a horror ... Lord of the Flys and all that )

I've caused friction by joking about this shit ... people are really true believers !

Culture is not your friend , as Terrence MacKenna said.
Not many people get that .
Too Scary.

 

[Return2Dust]

even tho putting on the mask is what killed you in the first place


you **cannot** be human! ew no, that's gross


you're only allowed to exist through society's cultivated expectations of you, which will be shared by everyone you know and meet. because we're all being nourished to follow the same protocol. is this making you feel good? are you happy now? ha, that question doesn't matter because you should be! :DDD





REMINDER! : don't be you! well, unless it benefits someone else ;)

Yes, you have to "fake it until you make it", but you do the actual steps at the same time. Putting on a mask is a reference to getting yourself out of bed to make it, put on clothes to walk, brush your hair and teeth to go outside the house. The mask is acting the opposite of how you feel, until you realize "feelings aren't facts" or some bullshit like that. I've tried it for years. My brain didn't want to be fooled into recovery.

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

Joker this theme front and center. This seems to apply to large swathes of our society. So many people hide behind social media, putting the highlights of their lives out for others to see.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Joker this theme front and center. This seems to apply to large swathes of our society. So many people hide behind social media, putting the highlights of their lives out for others to see.

I still don't get why people do that. Like it's just a game to them.

 

[cowbain]

I've refused to play the game and suffered for it.


I think there is a middle way ... although , it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time.

( Listening to "shape of my heart" by Sting , on repeat ... oldster moozic...
I put the stereo on for the first time in a while... listening as I read this post , so prompted me to comment.)

I have wondered if this is why drama is taught in school ?

I have commented before about the whole tension between legitimacy / authenticity thing and the culturally accepted "behaviors" we need to exhibit to be accepted.

( I understand it goes deeper ... I refer to the whole "Things are great" "play the game" "get ahead" crowd as "collaborators" , in that 'bad' way ... so it is a horror ... Lord of the Flys and all that )

I've caused friction by joking about this shit ... people are really true believers !

Culture is not your friend , as Terrence MacKenna said.
Not many people get that .
Too Scary.

You have to be well adjusted in some extent/area in order for other people to want to even know you. It just feels like everything is fake and we're all just projecting onto one another based on our own experiences and perspective.

When the cashier says "hi, how are you?" our automatic response is "good" even tho 9/10 it's a lie. So if even the minor things about life have to be unauthentic more than likely the major things have a basis of authenticity too. I honestly don't feel like recovery is possible for someone like me without being fake. But...I was groomed into being fake since the beginning of my existence by my family, and I don't want to reverse back into a similar mind frame. I just hate that in order to "thrive" in this society we have to be fake. If I was being honest I should've been dead a long time ago.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

You have to be well adjusted in some extent/area in order for other people to want to even know you. It just feels like everything is fake and we're all just projecting onto one another based on our own experiences and perspective.

When the cashier says "hi, how are you?" our automatic response is "good" even tho 9/10 it's a lie. So if even the minor things about life have to be unauthentic more than likely the major things have a basis of authenticity too. I honestly don't feel like recovery is possible for someone like me without being fake. But...I was groomed into being fake since the beginning of my existence by my family, and I don't want to reverse back into a similar mind frame. I just hate that in order to "thrive" in this society we have to be fake. If I was being honest I should've been dead a long time ago.

I hear you.

I think it's a juggling process.

We have to identify where we are going to be "pragmatically" fake - to get through the day ,
and where we are going to hold onto or form Values to live by "inside" .

Most people are in the "every day trance " of behavior ... so being "too" authentic will
be perceived as toxic ? anti-social ?

It's a tricky balancing act .

As a meta narrative ... I've settled on seeing the world and my part in it as a tension between the organic creature and it's genetic package "surviving" , and the cultural"human" role/act/ that we
all participate in to co-operate and 'get along'.

The tricky part for me is "buying in " to crazy cultural narratives enough to survive without
them driving me 'more' crazy.

That was always a source of my biggest upsets I think ... from family / church / society in general .

 

[azucaramargo]

I've refused to play the game and suffered for it.


I think there is a middle way ... although , it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time.

( Listening to "shape of my heart" by Sting , on repeat ... oldster moozic...
I put the stereo on for the first time in a while... listening as I read this post , so prompted me to comment.)

I have wondered if this is why drama is taught in school ?

I have commented before about the whole tension between legitimacy / authenticity thing and the culturally accepted "behaviors" we need to exhibit to be accepted.

( I understand it goes deeper ... I refer to the whole "Things are great" "play the game" "get ahead" crowd as "collaborators" , in that 'bad' way ... so it is a horror ... Lord of the Flys and all that )

I've caused friction by joking about this shit ... people are really true believers !

Culture is not your friend , as Terrence MacKenna said.
Not many people get that .
Too Scary.

I love Oscar so much!!!! Thank you for this wonderful profile pic!

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I love Oscar so much!!!! Thank you for this wonderful profile pic!

Thanks .

I've been waiting for some good vibes about my "spirit animal" ( :) ) ,
and you nailed it .

Pumped.

As a teenager I used to watch Sesame Street compulsively for the Grouch and Grover .

At risk of mutual admiration society , your profile pic always gives me a nice buzz .
I remember a comment about her being an actor ... she's beaming the positive buzz in that pic !

Have a great day .... ( you have faultless good taste .... :) )

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Everyone wears a mask nowadays. Some wear layers of them and have forgotten who they are, or never truly knew to begin with.

 

[porfin1234]

My problem is I don't wear a mask.
My face says it all even when I don't want it to lol. It's quite frustrating and puts people off unless I am doing well (usually means I am dancing haha).

honestly I think there's something to be said to pretending you are fine. I think that's why I haven't done well. Because I'm so freaking swayed by my emotions.. when how I feel most of the time is not aligned with reality.
It has been my downfall.

i wish when I had my shit together (job and home) i would've just ignored everything else. Bc by just always following my feeling I've ended up in a really bad situation.

i wish I were a more logical person.
screw feelings. they are little devils that distort reality. so may as well fake how you feel because if you don't they will rule / potentially ruin your life anyway

this is a great article not sure if really related to post but more along what i am trying to express: https://www.google.com/amp/s/markmanson.net/fuck-your-feelings/amp

today however my excuse to not following own advice is
I ruined my life anyway so screw it all and do what I really feel like doing is just planning my demise or shutting self out from world and continue not taking care if myself or beg for some company to help me get through this which are two things I "feel" like do
Or do I fake it til I make it?
I don't know