Venting In my mid 20s and feel like I’ve already done everything there is to do

[Rocinante]

I've already consumed all entertainment mediums there is out there to view. All anime and manga that get recommended or thrown around, I've already completed. Discovering any new series doesn't interest me anymore. I might as well read or watch things I enjoyed in the past since everything is rather predictable and repetitious. Just a different setting and characters with the same tried tropes.
All the video games I have to look forward to are all remasters, most new ones suffer from the same fault as anime and manga. Every idea that can be done has been done. I'm basically running on nostalgia at this point. I may play Final Fantasy 16 on release but outside of that gamings enjoyability has worn off.
Even music feels like a chore at this point in my life. I struggle to put an album on a listen all the way through, usually I'm just putting the same song on repeat for hours on end till it makes me mind numbingly bored.
Writing music doesn't interest me anymore. I had a few projects at one point in time but i either deleted or destroyed everything because I knew I'd never be able to live up to the standards I set for myself. That, and I think all good music that has been made is already out there. I'd basically be recycling old ideas, which isn't what drives my hatred towards most entertainment. Continuing to improve on an instrument seems bothersome since there's people out there that can play better than me and they started early. I have no need to fill a role that someone superior can take place of.
I had some ideas for music based documentaries but they'd be such a massive time sink.
None of my projects will come to fruition.

Friendships and relationships are not worthwhile. Every "friendship" I had the other person expected me to submit to them and be there when they needed someone. While ignoring me all other times. I guess I had a few that I did enjoy but those ended anyway. It was always nice to have someone to discuss music with, one of my primary interests, but even that gets old rather quickly. I'm mostly stuck to the internet at this point for the dopamine I receive.
Relationships are likely not going to happen, and even if they do I wasted my prime years being single. I can go on tinder and get matches but I don't see it as worthwhile when I could just visit and escort that's much better looking than anything I could get on dating apps + I'm guaranteed sex, not that I care for it anyway. An actual relationship isn't an option since I'm life mogged by a majority of people out there with better careers and "personalities". I'm essentially a loser at a dead end. I spent my youth hyperfixated on my looks and neglected every other aspect of life.

Traveling is one things that really interests me but it's not a viable option due to money and obligations. I'll be tied down in this garbage backwater place for a while longer before I can hope to travel, which would be near the end of this year at best. I guess traveling does motivate me but it can only be done periodically and after I'm in the same place as before. If it does happen I will probably reside in a foreign country for as long as possible till I have to CTB. I already have the ideal location in mind.

The only thing I have to look forward to is completing school, and even then all be nearing my 30s by the time I graduate. It's the only option if I don't want to be stuck in shitty blue collar work, factory jobs, or min wage places w high turnover rates. I have absolutely no qualifications to get a good job atm and blue collar doesn't pay enough to make it worth it for me. I'd rather die than wake up aching because I spent the previous day roofing a home in the blazing sun.

I don't know what it is, but something has hit me recently. And I had this exact same feeling around this time a year ago. I guess as I'm nearing a quarter of a century old a brutal realization is starting to set in. I see no reason to continue if things will always be this way.

I feel like a husk of a man who's just existing throughout the world while everything passes him by. A vagabond who's left to roam eternally in isolation. I don't know if I'll ever be accepted anywhere, not that I care. It's always been this way.

Thanks to anyone who made it through this low IQ rant

 

[Someone123]

It seems to me, and it's just one point of view, that your connections to other people aren't rewarding enough- everything seems empty when loneliness is the main thing in a person's life. It's not easy, but getting stronger frienships and then in time a relationship with real caring- these are the big things that could help. If there are family members where you could get more caring this could help. It seems to come down to loneliness, the main cause of depression in my opinion. Youtube does have a lot of vides on how to make freinds, etc. Some of these may help- if one isn't helping you could try another, trying to find someone whose point of view works for you, whose ideas work for you- a lot of people have put a lot of time and effort into these videos to try to help people to alleviate loneliness. Everything gets empty when loneliness takes over.

 

[CTB Dream]

know how feel rpt thing same human no innvt do same idea rpt stry, this resn human make rpt no new cmnty trad etc force same. This if ppl use ai posbl make new idea story game genre etc cuz human cmnty no want innvt keep rpt same. Vry sry feel bore feel no cnct othre

 

[befandbored]

I've already consumed all entertainment mediums there is out there to view. All anime and manga that get recommended or thrown around, I've already completed. Discovering any new series doesn't interest me anymore. I might as well read or watch things I enjoyed in the past since everything is rather predictable and repetitious. Just a different setting and characters with the same tried tropes.
All the video games I have to look forward to are all remasters, most new ones suffer from the same fault as anime and manga. Every idea that can be done has been done. I'm basically running on nostalgia at this point. I may play Final Fantasy 16 on release but outside of that gamings enjoyability has worn off.
Even music feels like a chore at this point in my life. I struggle to put an album on a listen all the way through, usually I'm just putting the same song on repeat for hours on end till it makes me mind numbingly bored.
Writing music doesn't interest me anymore. I had a few projects at one point in time but i either deleted or destroyed everything because I knew I'd never be able to live up to the standards I set for myself. That, and I think all good music that has been made is already out there. I'd basically be recycling old ideas, which isn't what drives my hatred towards most entertainment. Continuing to improve on an instrument seems bothersome since there's people out there that can play better than me and they started early. I have no need to fill a role that someone superior can take place of.
I had some ideas for music based documentaries but they'd be such a massive time sink.
None of my projects will come to fruition.

Friendships and relationships are not worthwhile. Every "friendship" I had the other person expected me to submit to them and be there when they needed someone. While ignoring me all other times. I guess I had a few that I did enjoy but those ended anyway. It was always nice to have someone to discuss music with, one of my primary interests, but even that gets old rather quickly. I'm mostly stuck to the internet at this point for the dopamine I receive.
Relationships are likely not going to happen, and even if they do I wasted my prime years being single. I can go on tinder and get matches but I don't see it as worthwhile when I could just visit and escort that's much better looking than anything I could get on dating apps + I'm guaranteed sex, not that I care for it anyway. An actual relationship isn't an option since I'm life mogged by a majority of people out there with better careers and "personalities". I'm essentially a loser at a dead end. I spent my youth hyperfixated on my looks and neglected every other aspect of life.

Traveling is one things that really interests me but it's not a viable option due to money and obligations. I'll be tied down in this garbage backwater place for a while longer before I can hope to travel, which would be near the end of this year at best. I guess traveling does motivate me but it can only be done periodically and after I'm in the same place as before. If it does happen I will probably reside in a foreign country for as long as possible till I have to CTB. I already have the ideal location in mind.

The only thing I have to look forward to is completing school, and even then all be nearing my 30s by the time I graduate. It's the only option if I don't want to be stuck in shitty blue collar work, factory jobs, or min wage places w high turnover rates. I have absolutely no qualifications to get a good job atm and blue collar doesn't pay enough to make it worth it for me. I'd rather die than wake up aching because I spent the previous day roofing a home in the blazing sun.

I don't know what it is, but something has hit me recently. And I had this exact same feeling around this time a year ago. I guess as I'm nearing a quarter of a century old a brutal realization is starting to set in. I see no reason to continue if things will always be this way.

I feel like a husk of a man who's just existing throughout the world while everything passes him by. A vagabond who's left to roam eternally in isolation. I don't know if I'll ever be accepted anywhere, not that I care. It's always been this way.

Thanks to anyone who made it through this low IQ rant

I started thinking of suggesting travelling as soon as I started reading before I got to the part where you raised it yourself. It is true that 'wherever you go, there you are' - travelling isn't a miracle solution. But in my experience it is definitely something worth doing. I'm sure you will have looked into the most economical ways of doing it already, possible volunteering opportunities etc so won't patronise you by suggesting any but just wanted to add my thoughts for what it's worth.

 

[Rocinante]

It seems to me, and it's just one point of view, that your connections to other people aren't rewarding enough- everything seems empty when loneliness is the main thing in a person's life. It's not easy, but getting stronger frienships and then in time a relationship with real caring- these are the big things that could help. If there are family members where you could get more caring this could help. It seems to come down to loneliness, the main cause of depression in my opinion. Youtube does have a lot of vides on how to make freinds, etc. Some of these may help- if one isn't helping you could try another, trying to find someone whose point of view works for you, whose ideas work for you- a lot of people have put a lot of time and effort into these videos to try to help people to alleviate loneliness. Everything gets empty when loneliness takes over.

Thanks, I will find some YT vids on the subject of making friends.
but I already tried to make friends and it never worked
there's only one person I keep up regular contact with, outside of that I've lost interest in people.
I had the idea of starting or joining a band but if my expectations aren't met(perfectionist) I'd just isolate myself again. Used to watch UFC weekly with others but even that seemed bothersome and I lost interest in the sport. I basically have a single UFC event to look forward to in July and a concert, other than that life is rather boring.

know how feel rpt thing same human no innvt do same idea rpt stry, this resn human make rpt no new cmnty trad etc force same. This if ppl use ai posbl make new idea story game genre etc cuz human cmnty no want innvt keep rpt same. Vry sry feel bore feel no cnct othre

Yep everything is monotonous. I think my location is the worst part about my situation. Small population, of which I don't get along with any of them + most here are elderly and my city is pretty barren. I have to travel for fun otherwise I'm stuck doing the same thing day in and day out.
@befandbored

I started thinking of suggesting travelling as soon as I started reading before I got to the part where you raised it yourself. It is true that 'wherever you go, there you are' - travelling isn't a miracle solution. But in my experience it is definitely something worth doing.

I think it's the only option for me since it will be something new. Repetition kills all joy I have

But yeah, same old life new location

I'm sure you will have looked into the most economical ways of doing it already, possible volunteering opportunities etc so won't patronise you by suggesting any but just wanted to add my thoughts for what it's worth.

plz suggest
the only method I've really looked into for traveling are waging for enough money to travel

 

[murmur]

I understand where youre coming from man, its just a shame, theres so many people here that find themselves unaccepted and unwanted, for that person theres an overwhelming amount of reasons enforcing the path of exile, usually one you can only feel inside and maddeningly can never see manifested outside. It can very well induce a purgatory state of not being but needing to be, in order to keep from being a hinderance in a constant surrounding movement, if not for your own immediate preservation. Doesnt help that most of the time what seems to be the most pressing in importance is maintaining this team player attitude for people that like you even better with a lack of innocence or a stone cold tolerance to deal with bs after bs. I dont understand how most people can honestly be "normal" or "well adapted" without being extremely dissociated or happily delusioned.
I can say for myself, being alone has been very necessary in the name of damage control, still I find myself desperate to feel something positive about anybody, something i can connect with, I guess it's only human but its always been much more corrosive than helpful, especially when ive really tried, more often than not its been a waste of breath. I see people imposing and being imposed on all the time, it almost seems granted to be bullied or coerced into something another wants by people you care for and love. I think its already hellish enough to be imposed on by this prudish somehow simultaneously thuggish system that breaks u into submission your whole life.
Sorry this is a really long 2 cents, im rootin for you and others here.

 

[unnormal9]

All the video games I have to look forward to are all remasters, most new ones suffer from the same fault as anime and manga. Every idea that can be done has been done. I'm basically running on nostalgia at this point. I may play Final Fantasy 16 on release but outside of that gamings enjoyability has worn off.

Hey, Squall. Do you have time for one last new jrpg?
I'm glad you won't play with that spiky-haired dude coming out this winter. You deserved the remake, not him.

Thanks to anyone who made it through this low IQ rant

I'm not cut out for this. i just want to make one thing before I ctb.

 

[Rocinante]

I understand where youre coming from man, its just a shame, theres so many people here that find themselves unaccepted and unwanted, for that person theres an overwhelming amount of reasons enforcing the path of exile, usually one you can only feel inside and maddeningly can never see manifested outside. It can very well induce a purgatory state of not being but needing to be, in order to keep from being a hinderance in a constant surrounding movement, if not for your own immediate preservation. Doesnt help that most of the time what seems to be the most pressing in importance is maintaining this team player attitude for people that like you even better with a lack of innocence or a stone cold tolerance to deal with bs after bs.

Agreed with how you worded it. A purgatory state of not being, but needing to be

I dont understand how most people can honestly be "normal" or "well adapted" without being extremely dissociated or happily delusioned.

I've been questioning this recently. I really wonder if the average person goes through life without ever being depressed. Everyone I see seems happy and content with their circumstances.

I can say for myself, being alone has been very necessary in the name of damage control, still I find myself desperate to feel something positive about anybody, something i can connect with, I guess it's only human but its always been much more corrosive than helpful, especially when ive really tried, more often than not its been a waste of breath. I see people imposing and being imposed on all the time, it almost seems granted to be bullied or coerced into something another wants by people you care for and love.

Same. At this point in my life I almost want to be alone but it sucks at the same time. Double edged sword. The longer I stay isolated the harder it will be to socialize, but some times it's better this way. I find it hard to associate with "relatives"(shouldn't regard them as such) when all they ever did was abuse me, and had a trashy cousin dI'd things to me. So I've always had trust issues and being in the few "friendships" I've had and being used to has made me more reclusive. I'm starting to think I'm destined to a life of loneliness and feeling of unwantedness.
Trying to befriend people wasn't worth the effort. As the idiom goes, be careful what you wish for.

I think it's already hellish enough to be imposed on by this prudish somehow simultaneously thuggish system that breaks u into submission your whole life.

Yeah, thankfully I've lived on my own terms. I'm not going to submit to the rules society imposes on me to make others happy or fit in. I find it to be a pain.

Sorry this is a really long 2 cents, im rootin for you and others here.

No worries, writing can be cathartic.

Hey, Squall. Do you have time for one last new jrpg?
I'm glad you won't play with that spiky-haired dude coming out this winter. You deserved the remake, not him.

Yo, yeah I have time for new JRPGs. It's the only thing I really play these days. Still trying to complete DQVIII after nearly two decades
I honestly wish VI would receive a remake, it's my favorite installment in the series.

I'm not cut out for this. i just want to make one thing before I ctb.

What do you wish to make?

 

[blacksand]

yes mid to late 20s are a hard time. I get treated as old by teens to 21 year olds and kidlike by people late 30s and older. Life moves too quick and it feels like you've just worked out how to act at a certain age then you're suddenly older and out of your depth again. Its a shock to realize your life has no longer "just begun" and you are indeed moving up in age and away from the endless potential of youth. I'm in awe at how fast time has passed since 2020 started and its only getting faster. To any younger people on here you will be awed by the speed at which you go from feeling like someone who has just left high school to someone who is lumped in as middle age by the youth.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable not wanting to endure decades of such an empty existence, I certainly believe it's true that existing is just a futile process of slowly dying. But anyway I wish you the best, existing here really is something so awful, I see existence as being such a cruel punishment.

 

[unnormal9]

Yo, yeah I have time for new JRPGs. It's the only thing I really play these days. Still trying to complete DQVIII after nearly two decades
I honestly wish VI would receive a remake, it's my favorite installment in the series.

Final Kismet. Remember that name. It may or come this year or the next. Things were changed for the better good.
I like 6 too, despite first playing it in 2019. But no, 'I believe I'm Zack Now' dude gets it all. i don't understand. he's literally Lightning's brother. i.e. Two emos in one pod.

What do you wish to make?

One last jrpg classic jrpg with the touch of a squaresoft.