Warlord's Pulse
Time to end this endless war
- May 27, 2024
- 222
The title can be a bit shocking (although I doubt that would shock the userbase here), nevertheless, I need to clarify that it doesn't necessarily resonate my opinion nor the problems that I'll state here particularly reflect my own. As the flair indicates, I want to start a discussion, even if it lacks a scientific approach, for I have this phrase in the back of my mind for some days now, after I've read an article about my profession (I'll refrain the details).
Another somewhat important thing to say is that I'm now under residual effects of magic mushrooms, and that I didn't exactly planned the thread nor do I think I should, I'm just going to write as the words come to my mind, so it can appear wordy, confusing or even a bit pedantic. With that aside, I'll start.
The first topic that I deem important is: self-help/coaches/therapy.
Think about it: what kind of people tends to even search internet for self-help? Would be a person that's doing great in life, or someone who's struggling? I know I know, anyone struggles through life sometimes, but what kind of people would MOST search for self-help? Those with long-lasting and systemic problems, or those with sporadic struggles, whom most likely will have a healthy support system anyway? My point here is: it seems that people who just "go with the flow of life" if I can say so, don't ever need to worry about self-help or self-development. The kid who had a good upbringing, was popular and smart at school, and transitioned into adulthood seamlessly most likely doesn't even know what 'self-development' is — they never needed anything like that; meanwhile, the problematic and dysfunctional kid that "failed to launch" into adulthood will find some hope, comfort or even entertainment in self-development content. Note here that, at least for now, I'm not saying this is good or bad, useful or not, maybe it can help, maybe can't, but it seems a fact that some people need to "run against the time" because of that, and many develop some kind of dependence on this type of content, and/or can't act towards what they learn.
Therapy follows a somewhat similar rule. I have a hunch that "normies" who indiscriminately recommend therapy have never gone to therapy to begin with, they do not know what is like. Some people even say that "well, I was bit sad one time and then went to therapy and it was good" or "I've passed 1 month without a date and thought something was wrong, then went to therapy" or "I just thought it would be good, everyone talks about it", it sounds that people most "benefit" from therapy when their problems are minor. Anyway, the point here is that a person with really fucked up problems have issues while dealing with most of therapeutical approaches. People make you believe that therapy is a panacea, but when you don't have a good outcome from it, they then start to blame you, or saying "it takes time, be patient" (sometimes ignoring that maybe a problem needs to be solved faster) or "the solution is within you, therapy is just a tool". It's even tiresome to argue against that shit, it sounds like "no true scotsman fallacy" to me. And then, the same people who threw up this "advice" will then tell you that "if it didn't solve, the problem is you", yeah, but the person stated from the very beggining that the problem is theirs indeed, yet you denied because you're a virtue signaling bitch.
And that leads me to another point: assumptions. They will assume that "you made something wrong" or ask loaded questions like "but did you try enough? tried X Y Z? do you even take care of yourself, take a bath, brush your teeth?" or advice to make things you're already done/doing, like "hit a gym bruh", how tf do they know if you're even out of gym or not?
Talking about gym, it makes me think about another point: "self-confidence". I dare say that most people who lacks confidence and feels insecure are like that for a fair reason. You don't expect that someone who got bullied, is ugly, has voice problems, feels behind in life, is neurodivergent/socially awkward etc would just be a much outgoing individual; they were conditioned to behave exact the opposite way. As much as something like "gym" can somewhat help, it won't make all the underlying issues magically disappear, and sometimes even create strange situations to navigate through, like being a very strong man with low pitched voice and autistic/schizoid communication, other people have a sense of "uncanny valley" from that.
A big problem that I don't see being discussed that much is that a lot of people reaches adulthood carrying unresolved youth problems, and/or develop problems that were not meant to develop in this stage of life. E.g., It's easy to judge someone as a failure because said person couldn't afford a car at his 20s, but you're not considerating that this person had to pay for a lot of treatments to take care of themself. A normal and healthy individual most likely won't get bald at 20, won't have crooked teeth past teenage (or even jaw deformities for that matter), won't have to spend 5 digits in mental health, won't have to make up for a wasted social life, won't have an early carreer crisis, "gifted kid burnout" etc.
It wouldn't be a big deal if these problems didn't affect badly all your life, but they do. And to try and solve them, you will certainly be behind your peers. If you couldn't enter a college right after high school at 18 years, and make an enrollment at, let's say, 24 years, you didn't "lose" 6 years, you lost even more, because you're just starting something that, by your age, you could (or even should) already be completed. Things in life are not linear, and I personally think that, in general, life starts early. If you planned a dull chore for today, but you passed through the day, it's now almost sleep time and you didn't do the chore, you most likely won't do it anymore; analogously to this, if you don't hit some milestones in due time, chances are you won't hit then at all. If a grown up adult, in their 30s, needs to learn how to deal with basic routines, first job, first date, chances are this person is already doomed anyway. I really would like to say that, maybe some people don't progress in some areas because they were busy with other areas, but unfortunatelly I can't say that. My "argument" here is purely based on my anedoctal experiences but, as a rule of thumb, people who struggle badly as young adults are most likely not progressing in any area whatsoever. Most of them unfortunately can't have the pride to say things like "Hey, I can be such an outcast, but at least I'm a Ph.D and a very high earner". That topic seems to bring a lot of cognitive dissonance into people, especially parents who refuse to admit that their own children are struggling.
After all this I start to question myself if I didn't digress that much from the title, but anyway, what's your take on this? Do you think it's too fatalistic?
Another somewhat important thing to say is that I'm now under residual effects of magic mushrooms, and that I didn't exactly planned the thread nor do I think I should, I'm just going to write as the words come to my mind, so it can appear wordy, confusing or even a bit pedantic. With that aside, I'll start.
The first topic that I deem important is: self-help/coaches/therapy.
Think about it: what kind of people tends to even search internet for self-help? Would be a person that's doing great in life, or someone who's struggling? I know I know, anyone struggles through life sometimes, but what kind of people would MOST search for self-help? Those with long-lasting and systemic problems, or those with sporadic struggles, whom most likely will have a healthy support system anyway? My point here is: it seems that people who just "go with the flow of life" if I can say so, don't ever need to worry about self-help or self-development. The kid who had a good upbringing, was popular and smart at school, and transitioned into adulthood seamlessly most likely doesn't even know what 'self-development' is — they never needed anything like that; meanwhile, the problematic and dysfunctional kid that "failed to launch" into adulthood will find some hope, comfort or even entertainment in self-development content. Note here that, at least for now, I'm not saying this is good or bad, useful or not, maybe it can help, maybe can't, but it seems a fact that some people need to "run against the time" because of that, and many develop some kind of dependence on this type of content, and/or can't act towards what they learn.
Therapy follows a somewhat similar rule. I have a hunch that "normies" who indiscriminately recommend therapy have never gone to therapy to begin with, they do not know what is like. Some people even say that "well, I was bit sad one time and then went to therapy and it was good" or "I've passed 1 month without a date and thought something was wrong, then went to therapy" or "I just thought it would be good, everyone talks about it", it sounds that people most "benefit" from therapy when their problems are minor. Anyway, the point here is that a person with really fucked up problems have issues while dealing with most of therapeutical approaches. People make you believe that therapy is a panacea, but when you don't have a good outcome from it, they then start to blame you, or saying "it takes time, be patient" (sometimes ignoring that maybe a problem needs to be solved faster) or "the solution is within you, therapy is just a tool". It's even tiresome to argue against that shit, it sounds like "no true scotsman fallacy" to me. And then, the same people who threw up this "advice" will then tell you that "if it didn't solve, the problem is you", yeah, but the person stated from the very beggining that the problem is theirs indeed, yet you denied because you're a virtue signaling bitch.
And that leads me to another point: assumptions. They will assume that "you made something wrong" or ask loaded questions like "but did you try enough? tried X Y Z? do you even take care of yourself, take a bath, brush your teeth?" or advice to make things you're already done/doing, like "hit a gym bruh", how tf do they know if you're even out of gym or not?
Talking about gym, it makes me think about another point: "self-confidence". I dare say that most people who lacks confidence and feels insecure are like that for a fair reason. You don't expect that someone who got bullied, is ugly, has voice problems, feels behind in life, is neurodivergent/socially awkward etc would just be a much outgoing individual; they were conditioned to behave exact the opposite way. As much as something like "gym" can somewhat help, it won't make all the underlying issues magically disappear, and sometimes even create strange situations to navigate through, like being a very strong man with low pitched voice and autistic/schizoid communication, other people have a sense of "uncanny valley" from that.
A big problem that I don't see being discussed that much is that a lot of people reaches adulthood carrying unresolved youth problems, and/or develop problems that were not meant to develop in this stage of life. E.g., It's easy to judge someone as a failure because said person couldn't afford a car at his 20s, but you're not considerating that this person had to pay for a lot of treatments to take care of themself. A normal and healthy individual most likely won't get bald at 20, won't have crooked teeth past teenage (or even jaw deformities for that matter), won't have to spend 5 digits in mental health, won't have to make up for a wasted social life, won't have an early carreer crisis, "gifted kid burnout" etc.
It wouldn't be a big deal if these problems didn't affect badly all your life, but they do. And to try and solve them, you will certainly be behind your peers. If you couldn't enter a college right after high school at 18 years, and make an enrollment at, let's say, 24 years, you didn't "lose" 6 years, you lost even more, because you're just starting something that, by your age, you could (or even should) already be completed. Things in life are not linear, and I personally think that, in general, life starts early. If you planned a dull chore for today, but you passed through the day, it's now almost sleep time and you didn't do the chore, you most likely won't do it anymore; analogously to this, if you don't hit some milestones in due time, chances are you won't hit then at all. If a grown up adult, in their 30s, needs to learn how to deal with basic routines, first job, first date, chances are this person is already doomed anyway. I really would like to say that, maybe some people don't progress in some areas because they were busy with other areas, but unfortunatelly I can't say that. My "argument" here is purely based on my anedoctal experiences but, as a rule of thumb, people who struggle badly as young adults are most likely not progressing in any area whatsoever. Most of them unfortunately can't have the pride to say things like "Hey, I can be such an outcast, but at least I'm a Ph.D and a very high earner". That topic seems to bring a lot of cognitive dissonance into people, especially parents who refuse to admit that their own children are struggling.
After all this I start to question myself if I didn't digress that much from the title, but anyway, what's your take on this? Do you think it's too fatalistic?
Last edited:
