Venting Implusive self harm

[Falseunderworld]

Its almost like a habit but i know its addiction , ill stop harming myself only to begin to get this awful sick feeling and it will be like that for months , a nagging to just bleed and get it over with , it gets worse and the suicidal idealization comes back , then i want to ctb and i cant without a proper method , then i stay clean for MONTHS and the egging gets worse and i cant help but feel some fucked up kinda pressure begin weigh on me till i cave in , its like everything starts to go wrong again and i lose it all again as if im purposefully drivin to the edge

 

[Yuri_gami]

I hope, one day you are able to get clean.
I am ~2 months clean. I can say from personal experience that it isn't easy. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
It's a train for me though.

Good luck reaching whatever you desire.