Venting Impending Doom

[Joey]

I'm secretly feeling the walls are closing around me so fast. Another friend deleted me and I'm just this over-dramatic piece of shit.

I've pushed so many people away and had close friendships with others but I ended up ruining it despite them giving me chances.

I'm a fricken 26 year old loser that is technically a NEET but I've been coasting in my 20s with odd jobs that always bitch and complains but does nothing about it with the situation.

I'm a fricken leech and a spoiled ass brat because my Dad buys me a car and does everything for me but I'm too much of a pussy to drive and fear that I'll get into a car accident. He holds my hand with everything and I've made some stupid ass money decisions and shit.

I don't know what to do and I'm feeling trapped in the situation that I'm in and I feel like there's no way out. I'm scared to die but I do know that we all die eventually. I don't know what's on the otherside but I just don't think I'm cut out for this life.

I know my parents "secretly" love me but just hate me because on how much of a disappoint I am.

Either I die by having Thrombosis for sitting on my ass for soooo long by being addicted to internet/gaming or I end up dying by my own hands (Suicide).

You know how they always tell you to trust your gut? Well a huge part of it is telling me that I'm most likely not going to make it past 30 and it's all because of my bad decisions.

If I do end up dying by my own hands...I just gotta say that I've lived a pretty okay life. A life full of decent adventures and okay memories. A caring family that didn't kick my lazy ass out when I didn't have a job for months on end and just job hopping to dead end job to dead end job.

Man what a ride.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'll be your friend if you need someone to talk to :)

 

[Joey]

I'll be your friend if you need someone to talk to :)

Thank you

 

[Tabbyql]

I'm secretly feeling the walls are closing around me so fast. Another friend deleted me and I'm just this over-dramatic piece of shit.

I've pushed so many people away and had close friendships with others but I ended up ruining it despite them giving me chances.

I'm a fricken 26 year old loser that is technically a NEET but I've been coasting in my 20s with odd jobs that always bitch and complains but does nothing about it with the situation.

I'm a fricken leech and a spoiled ass brat because my Dad buys me a car and does everything for me but I'm too much of a pussy to drive and fear that I'll get into a car accident. He holds my hand with everything and I've made some stupid ass money decisions and shit.

I don't know what to do and I'm feeling trapped in the situation that I'm in and I feel like there's no way out. I'm scared to die but I do know that we all die eventually. I don't know what's on the otherside but I just don't think I'm cut out for this life.

I know my parents "secretly" love me but just hate me because on how much of a disappoint I am.

Either I die by having Thrombosis for sitting on my ass for soooo long by being addicted to internet/gaming or I end up dying by my own hands (Suicide).

You know how they always tell you to trust your gut? Well a huge part of it is telling me that I'm most likely not going to make it past 30 and it's all because of my bad decisions.

If I do end up dying by my own hands...I just gotta say that I've lived a pretty okay life. A life full of decent adventures and okay memories. A caring family that didn't kick my lazy ass out when I didn't have a job for months on end and just job hopping to dead end job to dead end job.

Man what a ride.

Happy to be a friend too

 

[kcn2020]

You're not that old honestly. Your situation can change in a matters of week. You can find some kind of entry level job, training included and climb up the social ladder by doing something of your time. Just try, and you will see.

Take care.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I can relate to a lot of this. I have some relatively self-destructive tendencies when it comes to my social life and do struggle to keep friends. To me it seems like you could be a likable person and are just struggling with stress and depression, but I can see why you would feel this way.