Discussion Impact to therapist after I CTB?

[standingfast]

I am wondering how to lessen or mitigate or even eliminate the potential impacts to my psychologist as a result of my suicide?

She is the only person who I trust but she cannot reach me - I am too far gone. And she is not where I can ever find what I need. I feel safety and care from her, but she is "just" a safehouse in the war that rages around me and in me. I don't belong in the world and even if she does feel safe and caring, in the end she is my doctor and the reason to see her is so that I get to a place where I don't need her.

The only reason I haven't gone yet is because I fear how it will impact her professionally. Emotionally there will be unavoidable impacts, but I can't stay anymore.

Are there any ways to shelter her from any professional or legal fallout? She is very methodical and careful to document everything and has great boundaries. She has not committed me - partly because part of my CPTSD is from that kind of thing in the past (and there is literature to support it is sometimes not indicated to commit a person for those reasons) and partly because I have told her odds are if she commits me I probably would not work with her again. Pretty harsh of me but it has happened in the past with others and I am just going on my past reactions. I'm pretty open with her on 99% of everything so also to share that. It took a lot for me to try therapy again in the first place given my previous therapist betrayed me and out of blue dropped me and refused to even give me an explanation or any closure. So the odds of me going to another therapist if I stopped with my current one would be very low. I have thought of just ending therapy and taking that relationship out of the equation. But that is very hard for me.

So are there any ways to shelter her from any professional or legal fallout?

 

[athiestjoe]

Very thoughtful of you to be thinking about others like that!

I'm not entirely clear on whether you mentioned anything specific that would trigger a mandatory reporting obligation. If you didn't, then no worry at all on that. If you did, it might be possible, but it would require the professional licensing agency and/or law enforcement to demonstrate that she knew and that her mandatory reporting requirements were at play (expresses an immediate and serious intent to harm themselves or has a specific plan and means to do so). That could still be challenging to prove, as even with thorough documentation, they would need a solid reason to believe she was aware to compel those records (so even if she is methodically documents things as you mentioned). You do not (and maybe in this instance less might be more) need to respond on the post and take this feedback for what it is. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss it further. I just wanted to respond here for anyone else who might have this similar question.

I hope you find everything you are looking for!

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I only have the quickest of moments but wanted to jump on & share quickly.
One is that I haven't decided whether to leave a note or not, but even without a real note - I will leave at least a single line saying that there was nothing my shrink could have done, it was always going to happen.
And two, its depressing to read but may be reassuring to you - there's an article in the psychiatric times called "How to Write a Suicide Note: Practical Tips for Documenting the Evaluation of a Suicidal Patient" - I can't link, sorry.
Your therapist may well have been trained to write notes this way to avoid being sued. Again, it can be confronting to know this is how they write, but it (eventually…) brought me great comfort for when my bus finally gets here.
Best of luck with your bus or your recovery.