Venting Immediately categorized as a freak

[illandlonely]

Whenever I come across people I immediately get the vibe that they don't like me. I don't even need to talk, I don't even need to say anything. I just immediately know there's something about me they just don't like and find weird.

A part of me thinks it's transphobia, however, I kind of got the same vibes from others when I was masking my real gender in my teenage years. I don't know what it is but I'm pretty sure I just give bad vibes and I think that's why I'm lonely. People always seem to be so aggressive whenever they talk to me, so short tempered I just never seem to get a chance to relate to them.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of living a life where in any situation I'm the odd one who is immediately hated. Maybe I deserve it? Maybe I should be hated? Maybe this is a way the world is telling me that I'm fucked up freak who shouldn't be here. Maybe it's all in my head and that impression on people is a projection of my own insecurities. Either way what I am feeling is real no matter what it's actually derived from, and that's what's seriously distressing.

I just don't want this pain. My whole life's been like this. I'm tired of it.

 

[StillLife]

This more common than it should with neurodivergent folks. I've encountered people who I could tell almost immediately had some sort issue with me before even talking to them.

Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments - Scientific Reports

Individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), including those who otherwise require less support, face severe difficulties in everyday social interactions. Research in this area has primarily focused on identifying the cognitive and neurological differences that contribute to these social...

www.nature.com

It's really depressing.

 

[illandlonely]

This more common than it should with neurodivergent folks. I've encountered people who I could tell almost immediately had some sort issue with me before even talking to them.

Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments - Scientific Reports

Individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), including those who otherwise require less support, face severe difficulties in everyday social interactions. Research in this area has primarily focused on identifying the cognitive and neurological differences that contribute to these social...

www.nature.com

It's really depressing.

this makes so much sense, are nerodivergent ppl less likely to interact with other nerodivergent ppl? I know im not alone but it doesnt feel like i have an ally. Maybe just me tho