NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
Can you grasp the concept? Just think, everything that happens after you read this post, would never have happened. The people you see, the ones who love you, would all be crying the next time they saw you. Your animals, though they take longer to notice, would be lost, and surely miss you. That song, that picture, that friendly face on the street that made you smile, none of that would happen. Take time to realize how blessed we all are (even having the chance to live, love, hate, cry, laugh). Take time to realize the weight of the decision, because I think some people jump to these decisions. I had a friend ctb last year and it came as a big surprise. I think he regrets the choice. He had everything he needed, he just didn't know. He was in a dark place, but the sun is shining somewhere. We're all looking for it.
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,446
Well, shit.
For one, my landlord would have some major 'splaining to do. Nobody wants to deal with a corpse.

If all you're going to do is spew this kind of bullshit here, could you kindly fuck off?
 
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Youthanasia

Youthanasia

Wanderer
Apr 18, 2019
117
Personally I've been suicidal since I was 14

If I had ctb back then I would have regretted it but now that I'm certain that I can think like a proper man... there's no reason to regret doing it today

What really stops me from doing it is not wanting to die. There's still some hope but I wouldn't be in here if it was realistic to expect I'll have a good 50 years ahead of me

I think a lot of people in here just want to feel supported in a way. I'm new but I've seen two threads that back me up on this, one claiming that this is Facebook for suicidal and the rate per age group one. Personally I'm fine with this, it is a pro choice forum and Nietzsche got it right, the thought of death does help you sleep at night sometimes. But at least for me, actually doing it shouldn't be done as early as say, your 18s or even early 20s. I won't go as far as saying it would be a mistake though. Ultimately, choice must be respected
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Can you grasp the concept? Just think, everything that happens after you read this post, would never have happened. The people you see, the ones who love you, would all be crying the next time they saw you. Your animals, though they take longer to notice, would be lost, and surely miss you. That song, that picture, that friendly face on the street that made you smile, none of that would happen. Take time to realize how blessed we all are (even having the chance to live, love, hate, cry, laugh). Take time to realize the weight of the decision, because I think some people jump to these decisions. I had a friend ctb last year and it came as a big surprise. I think he regrets the choice. He had everything he needed, he just didn't know. He was in a dark place, but the sun is shining somewhere. We're all looking for it.
You smoke the cigarette, you have the orgasm, you eat the cookie, you nod off.
I hope you find what you're looking for brother.
DBD
 
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TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
Yes and if they were more supportive we might not be here fuck everyone and everything......life goes on
 
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S

soda_pressed

Experienced
Apr 8, 2019
231
I've thought about this time and time again, and you may have a point.
But for me this just sounds so false. Life for me isn't a "blessing" or a "gift".

You say friends would miss me, yet most of them left me the minute I started being depressed and didn't want to go out all the time.
Clearly they don't care. My life isn't blessed, along with depression I have an incurable illness that makes my life hell.
 
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EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
I imagine I'm dying or have died when I wake up every morning. Especially when it feels like my breathing is still slow and indetectable. Its a strong desire for everything to be gone. Honestly, I find the idea peaceful in those few moments. All my worries and concerns vanish.

But when I'm awake I still look at the highlights. What few I have. Another day to ponder the meaning of things. Chances to find something funny. Being there for someone when I can. If only I didn't have all my other worries and concerns. It'd be be a lot better. I especially worry about growing old.

I apologize for the other rude people who have commented on here. Some people are simply miserable fucks who delight in tearing others down. Keep in mind they never had to read this, let alone comment.
 
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RodgerThat

RodgerThat

It's over and out.
Apr 23, 2019
84
I don't have any of that so couldn't really care. I'm holding out for a bit longer and then I'll just jump off a cliff if my life doesn't make any kind of improvement. I really couldn't care less about what the landlord thinks, honestly...
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,804
id be vary happy if I died to day my life well naver get better tell I take my life
 
seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Arcanist
Dec 11, 2018
454
Many here have considered ctb for years if not decades (I'm a decade in myself). There's no just jumping to this decision for a lot of us. I've personally considered all that and I've exhausted my capacity to give a shit about all that stuff you've mentioned. If death knocking I'd be pretty pleased to let him in. But I don't like wishful thinking so I'm not gonna imagine myself dying today.
 
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GreyMagic

GreyMagic

The more you care, the more you have to lose.
Feb 21, 2019
173
Having read the original post I closed my eyes and just imagined me dying right this second. Pure bliss. Peace. Yes there would be chaos left behind for those that care about me. But the relief that I felt just for a second where I could just let go - it would be worth it.

There's so much fucking pain in this world unarmed people being shot at. I know the resistance is the answer even though I know there's signs of war everywhere I turn my head. But I can live with leaving that behind as I know I've done my best to support those against oppression and war crimes, and it just so happens it's Syria and Gaza for me. Almost acts as I distraction. As I struggle with the war within me. I'm human with needs too not invincible.


 
C

Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
Lol, I just picture myself dying... no proper work done one my corpse because I'm too fucking poor, and my "friends" or are either greedy or dirt poor losers like me. Next stop funeral.... well, that's gonna be awkward as hell, since all my relatives were made to believe I'm a bad person by my mother, who has narcissistic personality disorder.
Practically no one at my funeral , some acquaintances from high school, people that a) don't know each other b)I wouldn't want to be there. And the worst is these people will realize I have no best friend or close group of friends.
Rumors spread across my neighborhood, making my middle school and high school bullies (and teachers) happy.
 
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Deadgirl

Deadgirl

Game Over
Mar 31, 2019
215
When i am dead i am in oblivion. I wouldn't know anything.
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
Well, shit.
For one, my landlord would have some major 'splaining to do. Nobody wants to deal with a corpse.

If all you're going to do is spew this kind of bullshit here, could you kindly fuck off?
Hostile, eh? I'm just provoking thought. How many teenagers and 20 somethings do something they regret the next minute, day, month, year... let me get that for ya, all of them. It's one thing to be depressed, it's another to be irrational.
You smoke the cigarette, you have the orgasm, you eat the cookie, you nod off.
I hope you find what you're looking for brother.
DBD
If that's all you see in it, then yeah. I find satisfaction in seeing what others don't. Thinking outside the box. I could give a fuck about money, but it seems that's all everyone cares about.
I've thought about this time and time again, and you may have a small point.
But for me this just sounds so false. Life for me isn't a "blessing" or a "gift".

You say friends would miss me, yet most of them left me the minute I started being depressed and didn't want to go out all the time.
Clearly they don't care. My life isn't blessed, along with depression I have an incurable illness that makes my life hell.
But, I'd say, turn it around on them. Fuck those people. There's always more out there, and I'll guarantee they're better friends. Do it for yourself just to prove that you can. Live what little, or long, you have to the fullest, cuz it may be the only one.
I imagine I'm dying or have died when I wake up every morning. Especially when it feels like my breathing is still slow and indetectable. Its a strong desire for everything to be gone. Honestly, I find the idea peaceful in those few moments. All my worries and concerns vanish.

But when I'm awake I still look at the highlights. What few I have. Another day to ponder the meaning of things. Chances to find something funny. Being there for someone when I can. If only I didn't have all my other worries and concerns. It'd be be a lot better. I especially worry about growing old.

I apologize for the other rude people who have commented on here. Some people are simply miserable fucks who delight in tearing others down. Keep in mind they never had to read this, let alone comment.
My biggest fear is getting old and incapable of caring for myself. But, I hope when/if the time comes, I still have something to live for. I hope there are still little things that make it worthwhile.
Lol, I just picture myself dying... no proper work done one my corpse because I'm too fucking poor, and my "friends" or are either greedy or dirt poor losers like me. Next top funeral.... well, that's gonna be awkward as hell, since all my relatives were made to believe I'm a bad person by my mother, who has narcissistic personality disorder.
Practically no one at my funeral , some acquaintances from high school, people that a) don't know each other b)I wouldn't want to be there. And the worst is these people will realize I have no best friend or close group of friends.
Rumors spread across my neighborhood, making my middle school and high school bullies (and teachers) happy.
I bet that you're wrong. And, you sound like you'd have a lot of people to prove wrong. Why not try?
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,446
Hostile, eh? I'm just provoking thought. How many teenagers and 20 somethings do something they regret the next minute, day, month, year... let me get that for ya, all of them. It's one thing to be depressed, it's another to be irrational.
Dismissive, eh?
It's one thing to be able-bodied, stable both financially and socially, being accepted for what and who you are, and actually being in control of yourself, it's another thing to be feared, treated like a monster, and constantly be denied any sort of help based on the fact you're both an immigrant and a cripple.
Do you know how many epileptics commit suicide annually? 22%. And it's growing. Do you know why?
No, go ahead and guess.
How about we trade bodies, you spend a month in my shoes, I spend a month in yours? I'd like to see you survive in my world for even a week.
According to my logs, my brain acts up every three to five days. A week should be enough to give you just a taste of what an epileptic aura is and what it is to fight it. You'll lose that fight, I can guarantee that, and once it escalates to a grand mal? How about you just search. The outer shell is one hell of a sight, the insides? Let's leave that to the imagination.
It's been 13 years and counting, and I'd really like to taste that freedom you're not even noticing.
 
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Nullm

Nullm

Student
Apr 5, 2019
133
What do you think ? humans just kill themselves forgetting that there is beauty in the world?
Nope
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
Dismissive, eh?
It's one thing to be able-bodied, stable both financially and socially, being accepted for what and who you are, and actually being in control of yourself, it's another thing to be feared, treated like a monster, and constantly be denied any sort of help based on the fact you're both an immigrant and a cripple.
Do you know how many epileptics commit suicide annually? 22%. And it's growing. Do you know why?
No, go ahead and guess.
How about we trade bodies, you spend a month in my shoes, I spend a month in yours? I'd like to see you survive in my world for even a week.
According to my logs, my brain acts up every three to five days. A week should be enough to give you just a taste of what an epileptic aura is and what it is to fight it. You'll lose that fight, I can guarantee that, and once it escalates to a grand mal? How about you just search. The outer shell is one hell of a sight, the insides? Let's leave that to the imagination.
It's been 13 years and counting, and I'd really like to taste that freedom you're not even noticing.
I'm not saying suicide is wrong? There's obvious perks to someone who is fighting either a chronic, or terminal illness. What I was getting at is more directed to younger people who are severely depressed. The people who resign themselves to their depression and think that nothing will be better. I don't think we're talking about the same things.
What do you think ? humans just kill themselves forgetting that there is beauty in the world?
Nope
I do think some do. I'm clearly talking to the rash decision makers, as I state in the post. It's hard to see someone, like my friend, who has anything they could want, resort to that. He was heartbroken, sure, he hated his job, yep, but both of those things can change, and do change, quickly (relative to our lifespan).
 
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ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,446
I'm not saying suicide is wrong? There's obvious perks to someone who is fighting either a chronic, or terminal illness. What I was getting at is more directed to younger people who are severely depressed. The people who resign themselves to their depression and think that nothing will be better. I don't think we're talking about the same things.

I do think some do. I'm clearly talking to the rash decision makers, as I state in the post. It's hard to see someone, like my friend, who has anything they could want, resort to that. He was heartbroken, sure, he hated his job, yep, but both of those things can change, and do change, quickly (relative to our lifespan).

The kiddos can try therapy. They should, in fact.
Thing is, therapy doesn't always help.
I too have a therapist. I'm a hard nut for him to crack, but he also tells me of others. He doesn't give names, but he will compare another patient with me every so often to give me a scale of sorts, someone to compare myself to and get a scale of sorts. Hell, I get plenty of scale from other places.
Chronic depression is a thing that exists not only mentally but physically as well. Not sure whether it's "physically", "anatomically", or "neurologically".
I believe one, after the age of consent, should have the right to end their life at their leisure. I'm pretty sure the rest of the community would agree.
Check out the celebrities who committed suicide, you'd find plenty of info on them if you dig a little. Every single one was struggling with severe depression. The source is different for each one, but the bottom line is all the same. Now imagine the number of people we don't know of. Now add the absurd amount of stress and anxiety those people face on a daily basis. The picture ain't pretty.
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
The kiddos can try therapy. They should, in fact.
Thing is, therapy doesn't always help.
I too have a therapist. I'm a hard nut for him to crack, but he also tells me of others. He doesn't give names, but he will compare another patient with me every so often to give me a scale of sorts, someone to compare myself to and get a scale of sorts. Hell, I get plenty of scale from other places.
Chronic depression is a thing that exists not only mentally but physically as well. Not sure whether it's "physically", "anatomically", or "neurologically".
I believe one, after the age of consent, should have the right to end their life at their leisure. I'm pretty sure the rest of the community would agree.
Check out the celebrities who committed suicide, you'd find plenty of info on them if you dig a little. Every single one was struggling with severe depression. The source is different for each one, but the bottom line is all the same. Now imagine the number of people we don't know of. Now add the absurd amount of stress and anxiety those people face on a daily basis. The picture ain't pretty.
No, it's not. And, you're right, depression is a real thing. Some people may have that chemical imbalance that makes them naturally unhappy. To those that don't, there's someone who can help. Therapist, maybe, though I don't think they'd be the most personal choice, but even someone on here, or some chat room somewhere. It's just better to talk it out before making that decision.
 
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C

Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
Hostile, eh? I'm just provoking thought. How many teenagers and 20 somethings do something they regret the next minute, day, month, year... let me get that for ya, all of them. It's one thing to be depressed, it's another to be irrational.

If that's all you see in it, then yeah. I find satisfaction in seeing what others don't. Thinking outside the box. I could give a fuck about money, but it seems that's all everyone cares about.

But, I'd say, turn it around on them. Fuck those people. There's always more out there, and I'll guarantee they're better friends. Do it for yourself just to prove that you can. Live what little, or long, you have to the fullest, cuz it may be the only one.

My biggest fear is getting old and incapable of caring for myself. But, I hope when/if the time comes, I still have something to live for. I hope there are still little things that make it worthwhile.

I bet that you're wrong. And, you sound like you'd have a lot of people to prove wrong. Why not try?
Well, first off, I'm not wrong. I've been living as an hermit for years. And thanks for the advice but I've tried to prove everyone wrong,and I failed . And it's useless to argue with narcissists and their flying monkeys, you're giving very destructive and misinformed advice on the subject.
Chances are if you haven't got your shit together by the times your in high school, furthermore at the age of 18-20 (and I'm beyond that ), you're not gonna magically blossom, unless you get rich through some criminal activity or some shit.
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
Well, first off, I'm not wrong. I've been living as an hermit for years. And thanks for the advice but I've tried to prove everyone wrong,and I failed . And it's useless to argue with narcissists and their flying monkeys, you're giving very destructive and misinformed advice on the subject.
Chances are if you haven't got your shit together by the times your in high school, furthermore at the age of 18-20 (and I'm beyond that ), you're not gonna magically blossom, unless you get rich through some criminal activity or some shit.
I've blown all of my opportunities to this point and still don't really have my shit together, and I'm 27. I fucked off in college, drank myself into a stupor from 19-24, and it wasn't until I met my fiancée that I turned a corner. I work at a job I don't like, making enough to live, and go day by day at the moment. However, I know there's more to come. I'm looking for a job to better myself for MYSELF. My parents were never too supportive of my choices, though I can't blame them, but I'd rather do it just to show myself. I use writing to help me through dark times and reread them to give me motivation to keep getting better down the road. You won't please everyone, but no one else really matters, right?
 
C

Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
I've blown all of my opportunities to this point and still don't really have my shit together, and I'm 27. I fucked off in college, drank myself into a stupor from 19-24, and it wasn't until I met my fiancée that I turned a corner. I work at a job I don't like, making enough to live, and go day by day at the moment. However, I know there's more to come. I'm looking for a job to better myself for MYSELF. My parents were never too supportive of my choices, though I can't blame them, but I'd rather do it just to show myself. I use writing to help me through dark times and reread them to give me motivation to keep getting better down the road. You won't please everyone, but no one else really matters, right?
I'm really proud of you for coming out of the dark place you were in. I don't know your circumstances but for what I know you could be living your best life rn, compared to your own ups and downs. Personally know I'll probably never find love unless I decide to date outside of my race (I'm partially disfigured due to a malpractice) which wasn't in my plans at all - so the scenario of "I'm gonna find Love and it's gonna motivate me to get my shit together" is heavily improbable for me . See, sometimes circumstances that are out of our control can make ones life just not worth the effort.
 
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Deadgirl

Deadgirl

Game Over
Mar 31, 2019
215
Some mental health conditions are permanent and can cause damage to DNA.
 
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
Thinking about death scared me. As much as I want to believe in peaceful afterlife experience, at end of the day those are just beliefs. There is no guarantees attached to it. I couldn't cling to any kind of certainty regarding what's beyond out there.

At the same time, I am losing more and more motivation and reason to keep on going. If I died today, I would definitely feel relieve before anything else.
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
Thinking about death scared me. As much as I want to believe in peaceful afterlife experience, at end of the day those are just beliefs. There is no guarantees attached to it. I couldn't cling to any kind of certainty regarding what's beyond out there.

At the same time, I am losing more and more motivation and reason to keep on going. If I died today, I would definitely feel relieve before anything else.
You, unfortunately, probably wouldn't feel that. It's a frightening proposition.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,852
I think if I died, then I wouldn't have any perception of conscious and wouldn't be able to see the aftermath either. Yes, I believe it would suck for the surviving people and the people around me or those who found my body. However, I just know that ALL living things die at some point in the future; it is just a matter of 'when' and 'how'.
 
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NotSure

NotSure

Lost in thought
Apr 17, 2019
35
I think if I died, then I wouldn't have any perception of conscious and wouldn't be able to see the aftermath either. Yes, I believe it would suck for the surviving people and the people around me or those who found my body. However, I just know that ALL living things die at some point in the future; it is just a matter of 'when' and 'how'.
It's a toss up. I don't know what will happen when we go, but I don't think it's a complete end. We're all randomly constructed here, but what is in our head, our "consciousness", that makes us know what's even going on? How does that die? It exists as much as it doesn't. It can't be measured. It's beyond the grip of science. So, why would that cease, or even abide by the things we "think" we "know"?
 

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