OnMyLast Legs
Too many regrets
- Oct 29, 2024
- 395
One notable thing about suicidality is how your world shrinks down. I used to fancy myself a budding intellectual and thought my head would be full of books and theories and arguments and analyses. Now I have to admit I know just about nothing about how the world works. I'm not trying to learn or even thinking about starting to learn. Higher-order thought is just gone. It's like I knocked down the Jenga tower. In a successful life, thought grows, more insight is gained, everything builds on itself. For me it all crashed into rubble. My only thought is that I want to stop feeling pain.