I'm wondering if my way out of this shit is to contract AIDS

[ChildrensITV]

It's a brutal way to die. I've been watching documentaries on it from the 1980s. But at least, within 2 years, they're dead. And I'm not sure if it counts as suicide. But I guess, it would be considered it if I don't go on the meds to stay alive.

I'm just thinking out loud. That was my last idea. I'm all out now. I guess I could go skydiving and see what my odds are, but I can't afford it, and would probably break my neck and survive.

It blows my mind that children and young people with so much to live for die everyday, yet here I am: I haven't enjoyed my life since I was a child. Each day is something to tolerate. And there is no sign of me dying. I saw my medical chart online and it says that my liver isn't doing too well. I'm not surprised. I drink so much to cope. I wonder if I'll need a liver transplant. Maybe that's my way out. I'm part of the least altruistic ethnic minority on earth, so there isn't likely to be a matching donor for me. Woooo!

People say "life is precious". Yet, I can't die to save my life.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Why torture yourself immensely by dying slowly of AIDS? Dying of aids is as painful (maybe even more) as dying from cancer. I've seen some old documentaries from 30-40 years ago about AIDS and it is a very painful way to go.
As for the "life is precious" thing, life is indeed precious, but if you life isn't plagued by depression or chronic pain or both.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Why torture yourself immensely by dying slowly of AIDS? Dying of aids is as painful (maybe even more) as dying from cancer. I've seen some old documentaries from 30-40 years ago about AIDS and it is a very painful way to go.
As for the "life is precious" thing, life is indeed precious, but if you life isn't plagued by depression or chronic pain or both.

Yeah. I'm starting to live a reckless lifestyle where AIDS might on the cards if I'm not careful. But you're right, I probably don't want it. But it's like: what are we left with? I have to die by my own hand? There are so many tragedies all over the world but none of them seem to kill me. I gotta suffer til I'm elderly.

Life is precious if your life is good.