Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I've called myself a coward for letting my SI get the better of me in the past, but now I think a better word for me is "weak."
Weak because anxiety, the main reason I need to ctb, is also what has stopped me in the past.
Weak because I wasn't strong enough get over my anxiety just long enough to do this one last thing for myself.
I think that I'm stronger, and more comfortable with the SN method now, months later, enough to get over it.
I think all the knowledge I've learned about SN over the months has helped. I really believe that, while it's still going to be hard as hell, I can overcome my SI now.
I'm also weak when it comes to my life in general. Weak because I let my anxiety control my life, weak because I can't work and I'm a burden on my mom,
weak because I let every little thing get to me, weak because I can't help but take everything personally and overreact to everything.
I'm too weak and too thin skinned for this world.
Weak because anxiety, the main reason I need to ctb, is also what has stopped me in the past.
Weak because I wasn't strong enough get over my anxiety just long enough to do this one last thing for myself.
I think that I'm stronger, and more comfortable with the SN method now, months later, enough to get over it.
I think all the knowledge I've learned about SN over the months has helped. I really believe that, while it's still going to be hard as hell, I can overcome my SI now.
I'm also weak when it comes to my life in general. Weak because I let my anxiety control my life, weak because I can't work and I'm a burden on my mom,
weak because I let every little thing get to me, weak because I can't help but take everything personally and overreact to everything.
I'm too weak and too thin skinned for this world.