Cashewmilk
Specialist
- Mar 10, 2020
- 352
I've been thinking about the people who want to ctb because of their looks. It got me thinking sometimes... for me personally, right now and for the past 10 years, I stopped caring about my looks, I honestly don't care anymore and I don't even try to look good. I have no desire for it or to attract anyone. I'm actually so glad I'm average, I would hate to be a sex object.
But there was a time when I was a young kid where I cared a lot. My mom also had a lot to do with it, she kept talking about how we have to be pretty and flawless, she got angry when I got scars or sunburns, she pointed my nose with her fingers with lotion, as if to help mold it. When I was a baby and a young child I was really cute and pretty, it seemed like I was going to turn out great! But then slowly my ugliness started to rear itself, the dark bags, hairy discolored skin, my nose suddenly started rising and growing off my face, I was born with a completely flat nose and it was shocking. My eyebrow bone was protruding, I was super skinny. Then puberty came and it was really rough, I got teased for being ugly sometimes, tbf I'm average, but kids are really mean lol. Puberty destroyed my looks and my mental health.
I remember being in 8th grade going to highschool and I was feeling really terrible about turning out really ugly, it seemed to be the only thing that mattered to me, my friends were beautiful and my sister was gorgeous. Then suddenly one day I wore some eyeliner and voila! Like magic, I even remember saying to myself "oh thank god I'm pretty I can just wear eyeliner!" LOL. Ahh how sad. It worked though, makeup works wonders but I could never leave without it.
I spent almost 10 years wearing makeup constantly, waxing my face, eyebrows etc... dealing with acne. I was always worried about my looks and I was devastated to learn I was not photogenic at all! It was mortifying I don't even know why! Nowadays I absolutely don't care, but it's funny to think about sometimes. When I was a baby and a small child, you would never know it was me, I look completely different. There are women who look very similar to their childhood selves. I'm like that kid from Home Alone haha! I shouldn't have been surprised I look exactly like my dad and he has all those features that only men should have lol. I'm a wonderful candidate for a nose job that's for sure. Even my mom was like "I don't know what happened to your nose, but when you make money you can pay for your own nose job". Bitch. Lol... thank goodness I never got a nose job!
Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts... it's just so refreshing and wonderful that I don't give a crap anymore! I'm finally matured and at peace with my appearance. I really hope other people can someday find that, it takes a lot of emotional rebooting to let go of it, and a lot of soul searching. There are millions of average or ugly people who are very happy and confident.
But there was a time when I was a young kid where I cared a lot. My mom also had a lot to do with it, she kept talking about how we have to be pretty and flawless, she got angry when I got scars or sunburns, she pointed my nose with her fingers with lotion, as if to help mold it. When I was a baby and a young child I was really cute and pretty, it seemed like I was going to turn out great! But then slowly my ugliness started to rear itself, the dark bags, hairy discolored skin, my nose suddenly started rising and growing off my face, I was born with a completely flat nose and it was shocking. My eyebrow bone was protruding, I was super skinny. Then puberty came and it was really rough, I got teased for being ugly sometimes, tbf I'm average, but kids are really mean lol. Puberty destroyed my looks and my mental health.
I remember being in 8th grade going to highschool and I was feeling really terrible about turning out really ugly, it seemed to be the only thing that mattered to me, my friends were beautiful and my sister was gorgeous. Then suddenly one day I wore some eyeliner and voila! Like magic, I even remember saying to myself "oh thank god I'm pretty I can just wear eyeliner!" LOL. Ahh how sad. It worked though, makeup works wonders but I could never leave without it.
I spent almost 10 years wearing makeup constantly, waxing my face, eyebrows etc... dealing with acne. I was always worried about my looks and I was devastated to learn I was not photogenic at all! It was mortifying I don't even know why! Nowadays I absolutely don't care, but it's funny to think about sometimes. When I was a baby and a small child, you would never know it was me, I look completely different. There are women who look very similar to their childhood selves. I'm like that kid from Home Alone haha! I shouldn't have been surprised I look exactly like my dad and he has all those features that only men should have lol. I'm a wonderful candidate for a nose job that's for sure. Even my mom was like "I don't know what happened to your nose, but when you make money you can pay for your own nose job". Bitch. Lol... thank goodness I never got a nose job!
Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts... it's just so refreshing and wonderful that I don't give a crap anymore! I'm finally matured and at peace with my appearance. I really hope other people can someday find that, it takes a lot of emotional rebooting to let go of it, and a lot of soul searching. There are millions of average or ugly people who are very happy and confident.
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