I'm ugly too I feel horrible, I want to end it soon . Why can't I?

[3rdworldsadness]

Evil god doomed me with every fucked up possibilities. I look horribly ugly...i wish I was even a bit of beautiful or worthy of living. I want to be out, out of this world. I'm wasting my time. Nobody wants to look at me. I was cursed enough to born in a poor country...even I'm cursed in looks.

It's hurt to think that I didn't killed myself yet. Even my mom sees me as ugly and nasty looking. I just wanted to be a normal human living a normal life. I didn't want to be like this. I can't. I really can't. People throw me away after getting to know me, that's why I never had any friendship or relationships. I don't need that anymore, I just want to sleep eternally. I just want some rest , forever rest. I stopped believing in god, if he really exists he wouldn't made this world hedious. I hide myself from everyone, I hope nobody sees me ever. I can't talk properly, i have also low iq, I wish someone just kill me I will be so happy. I don't have to live in poor, ugly, in mental stress, agrophobia, i won't get beaten by my mom, no abuse, no hunger, no sickness. I just all this to end. Everything. There's no help available. No one will help me. I'm caged in a terrifying place. I wish this to end, I want this to end. Suicide looks more rational every day.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's so dreadful to me how there's all this cruelty and suffering in existing, I hope you find peace.