I'm trying to overcome the emotional dependence on someone who never valued me. But it's excruciating

[Crematoryy]

Even knowing I deserve someone better, all I want is to run into the arms of the person who always hurt me. I'm in a catatonic state and went to the psychiatric hospital for help. I should never have cared so deeply about another person. I should never have loved another person. Even knowing this is the time to focus on myself, I think about suicide every day. I can no longer exist without that specific woman. I was just an emotional crutch for someone who never cared about discarding me.

I seek the company of others to escape this overwhelming feeling. I go out into the street to talk to strangers. Because the self-phobia and the weight of being alone, when I'm only with myself, is far beyond what I can bear in the long term.

 

[nutmacc]

I know what you're going through. It's so hard when you love someone who hurts you. You know you deserve better, but why do you crave them after all they did?

We make excuses for them. As we are good people. Others don't think at our level unfortunately.

You sound outgoing talking to strangers. That's a great quality. And it makes life so exciting. You never know where it will take you

 

[Crematoryy]

I know what you're going through. It's so hard when you love someone who hurts you. You know you deserve better, but why do you crave them after all they did?

We make excuses for them. As we are good people. Others don't think at our level unfortunately.

You sound outgoing talking to strangers. That's a great quality. And it makes life so exciting. You never know where it will take you

Because I feel I don't have the strength to carry my own life alone, and that I need a structure to help me build it.

I don't lead a functional life, I don't have a social circle, my family is absent. I replaced the center of my life with another person. My axis of living was in that person. The foundation of my emotions was that person. And I feel that this woman wasn't aware of what she meant to me, or if she was, she chose to ignore it.

I've never been an extrovert; I have social anxiety, but the desperation is so great that I seek the company of others as a cry for help. (even if I don't tell them what's going on)