Venting I'm too scared to buy SN

[HollowDrop]

Not like I have a working source yet but I'm too terrified of being found out or being sent a welfare check after me or something. I really don't want to be put in a situation where I have to explain to people why I bought it. My family would know it was for CTB. I'm really set on SN as my method as it seems quite safe and reliable plus fairly peaceful but getting it is another story. I have tried looking for a source but the thought of something going wrong with getting it scares me. I don't wanna be put in a psych ward for buying SN or something.
I've thought about partial hanging too but I feel like my SI would kick in too easy with this. I'm such a coward and I hate it. I'm stuck in a limbo.

 

[Abyssal]

That's normal, I felt the same way. Even now, I still worry with SN on the way, but it's gotten easier.

What country are you from if you don't mind me asking? Perhaps some advice can be given to close up any holes in your plan so that you can be more at ease, I know that has helped me a lot.

 

[HollowDrop]

What country are you from if you don't mind me asking? Perhaps some advice can be given to close up any holes in your plan so that you can be more at ease, I know that has helped me a lot.

I'm in Finland.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

@avaruus was Finnish and he bought and used SN last month. You could look through his threads to find some potentially useful information.

 

[reiII]

i totally feel this. no sources other than very sketchy looking ones, but even so, i am terrified of the welfare check. there would be no avoiding it as just not answering the door wouldn't be an option since i don't live alone. i think it would be over for me if my plan was discovered- and become 10x harder for me to reattempt a purchase. i'm in canada

 

[Nymph]

Are you not an adult? Can your family just send you to a psych ward without your permission? there's other uses for sn other than ctb, you can get those things to disguise your use.

 

[Abyssal]

Are you not an adult?

Everyone has different economic backgrounds, many can't afford to move out at 18.

 

[Nymph]

Everyone has different economic backgrounds, many can't afford to move out at 18.

Yea of course but if they're above 18 then they can't force you to go to a psych ward. Just make up a somewhat believable story and they can't do anything.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I seriously sympathize with how difficult it's been for others on this forum who can't get SN. I was able to get locally and it was really easy, the company didn't ask any questions from my end about what I intended to use it for whereas they answered all my questions plus there's no welfare checks to worry about and that's largely due to there being no reports of SN-related ctb and that a place like SaSu which has info on how to ctb with sn is unknown. That, I'll admit, played a big role in why SN has been my method.

 

[Ninja_Master]

Just curious since i ordered SN, what does welfare check does to you/how does it work?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so cruel and horrible to me how people even have to worry about this happening in the first place, people should just be allowed the option to die in peace when they wish to as after all it's their existence and they aren't obligated to continue. I really do hate how this society is so incredibly anti-suicide but anyway I wish you the best, I certainly understand that it's dreadful feeling so trapped here.

 

[IWishToDie]

Just say you were interested in creating your own beef jerky/curing meats for storage, if you are caught. If they ask about the high strength just pretend you didn't realise it was the wrong SN. Lol. Good luck OP.

 

[Dopamine_Junkie44]

I am a vegetarian :) meat curing sounds not very likely in my case...
I thought maybe I could tell my boyfriend it is a gift for someone (chuckling internally because "Gift" is the german word for poison) ...