Venting i’m too much of a coward to ctb

[mafuyu]

i just want a gun. it would be nice to have a gun. and some ammo, duh. i know nothing about guns, though. but it's the most lethal way of ctb, i think. everything else is so painful and can be lived through. (idk about sn.) but a bullet? with such close range?? you're dead. hit the brain stem, and you're gone. now go from the side like a dumbass, like they do in the movies, then yeah— you might live. but that's basically just opposite natural selection.

i don't want to live that badly. i've never wanted to. that's why i don't have goals or dreams. i have bad health and i don't care. i hope i get diabetes so i can kill myself that way. idk. i can't be assed. i wasn't meant for living.

 

[emptymiku]

i know how that feels. except the diabetes part. also hi mafuyu. favorite prsk character spotted in the wild moment

 

[greatgooglymoogly]

I also wish I had that option. Maybe it's a stupid fantasy but I feel like just knowing I had a shotgun with a single round waiting in my closet would be so comforting. So lethal, painless and immediate.

But they're a hassle to get and I still back out when I think about the carnage I'd be leaving.

 

[Abyssal]

I feel the same. I was never meant to live, I too don't feel made for this world. However, I don't feel that you are a coward for this. Not ctbing isn't cowardly and to some of us it's rather brave.

Wouldn't recommend diabetes, though.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case a gun wouldn't be my most ideal method, I'd personally prefer Nembutal but I do envy those who can access guns to ctb with as they aren't accessible where I live.
But anyway I also see myself as not meant for existing and I wouldn't see those who struggle to ctb in this society where suicide is cruelly made so inaccessible as being cowardly as it's just too difficult to die at least to me. But anyway best wishes.

 

[mafuyu]

i know how that feels. except the diabetes part. also hi mafuyu. favorite prsk character spotted in the wild moment

lol yeah i've just been fat all my life but somehow every time i go to the doctor im fine. like damn it runs in my family, can't i just get some disease and die already lmao

miku!! i saw you a while ago, good still seeing you around

I also wish I had that option. Maybe it's a stupid fantasy but I feel like just knowing I had a shotgun with a single round waiting in my closet would be so comforting. So lethal, painless and immediate.

But they're a hassle to get and I still back out when I think about the carnage I'd be leaving.

yep exactly. someone has to find you. i'm just afraid someone who cares about me would be the one to find me.

I feel the same. I was never meant to live, I too don't feel made for this world. However, I don't feel that you are a coward for this. Not ctbing isn't cowardly and to some of us it's rather brave.

Wouldn't recommend diabetes, though.

lmao on the diabetes. yeah i just wish some disease would take me out, so it's not a suicide you know? i would gladly give my health to someone who would actually do something with their life…

 

[Kalista]

I have a gun right next to me as I'm typing this. I agree it's the most lethal, but even now I'm hesitating. I'm trying to list reasons to end my existence and a purpose that is passing on whatever money I have left to the person I care about. Yet I'm still here and can't pull the fucking trigger. It's the opposite for me. I wish I could just drink something then pass out and die.

Someone ship me some sn so I can do that instead. Otherwise I need to fork up the courage to do this and I hate not being able to. I'm so fucking miserable and lonely, but it's still not easy to end it. Fuck

 

[lostall_hope11]

I feel you. It's near to impossible to get a gun in my country as well.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

We're all cowards. That's the only reason we're still here.

 

[cherry7]

We're all cowards. That's the only reason we're still here.

I agree!