Help im tired

[pebpebpebpeb]

i did nothing today, sat in bed like the pathetic sack of shit i am. got up for dinner and thats it.
im being over dramatic about everything and cheeking antidepressants when i promised someone whos very close to me i would stop. i feel bad for lying yet i dont stop doing it.
i barely talk to anyone, and almost nobody talks to me (online)
people want me to get out, trying to force me (verbally) to go outside with them, but i dont want to. they said that im going with them somewhere tommorow but i really do not want to. we're in the middle of a pandemic for god sakes i dont want to go out. not only that but i just broke down after they said that im going, i cant be out in public, this is just my anxiety but its gotten a lot lot worse with quarantine.
i really want to cut but i dont want to risk being sent back to a behavioral hospital.
i used to use a belt to choke myself and get the numbing feeling, and realizing what i just did after. it was like a drug, it felt so surreal to me.
i want to do it again but at the same time i have no energy. im just tired of it all and want to end it, but no idea how.

 

[sadbunny]

very sorry. I don't like going out either

 

[dwarff24]

kind of the same here too. Doing nothing all day everyday, I haven't been out since last summer and haven't had a conversation with anyone since November. Family pressuring me to do things, socialize, get a gf and shit like that.

 

[Ryan.s]

i did nothing today, sat in bed like the pathetic sack of shit i am. got up for dinner and thats it.
im being over dramatic about everything and cheeking antidepressants when i promised someone whos very close to me i would stop. i feel bad for lying yet i dont stop doing it.
i barely talk to anyone, and almost nobody talks to me (online)
people want me to get out, trying to force me (verbally) to go outside with them, but i dont want to. they said that im going with them somewhere tommorow but i really do not want to. we're in the middle of a pandemic for god sakes i dont want to go out. not only that but i just broke down after they said that im going, i cant be out in public, this is just my anxiety but its gotten a lot lot worse with quarantine.
i really want to cut but i dont want to risk being sent back to a behavioral hospital.
i used to use a belt to choke myself and get the numbing feeling, and realizing what i just did after. it was like a drug, it felt so surreal to me.
i want to do it again but at the same time i have no energy. im just tired of it all and want to end it, but no idea how.

I am so sorry for all of your pain my friend. I hope this question hasn't been asked before... but can you get benzodiazepines (anxiety medicine) to treat your anxiety?