Venting I'm tired of friends. I'm tired of hanging out with people. How do I cut them all off without them chasing after me?

[fleetingnight]

I hate making plans. My friends are good people, they're nice to talk to, but that doesn't matter. It's not anything wrong with them, I'm just not made for having friends. I can't do it. They want to go out places and do things for fun and talk about shows and movies they like and stuff. I just fucking can't anymore. I don't get how they can. I'm happy for them, sincerely, but I don't get it. Lately, no matter how wasted I am or how many people I'm surrounded by, I can't ever forget all the awful parts of life. It's overpowering.

I try my best to put up a front and act like I'm not on the verge of a panic attack and I wasn't just reading a guide on how to hang myself ten minutes ago. But it only keeps getting harder. I feel like I don't have the strength to even smile today, or even keep tears out of my eyes.

I don't know how anybody does it. I don't get it. I'm half convinced they're just as sad as me but better at acting, and half jealous of them. I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't bear to talk to anyone. I don't want to do anything. I never want to be invited to anything again. I want to erase myself from all my friends brains so they won't even miss me.

Edit: I really forgot I had a personal vent thread for stuff like this lmao. Oh well,s orry

 

[set0553]

Just open up to them and tell them everything you're thinking and feeling.. it worked for me, and never heard from most of them again. People will always say they'll be there for you no matter what, but when the going got tough, and I got suicidal they left in a hurry..

 

[eatantz]

This is so relatable, I always want to cut off my friends but in the end I know ill regret it.