Venting I’m thinking of CTB soon.

[appalachian moon]

I don't want to go off on a tangent and make this become a sob story, but basically life is getting unbearable. This is the closest I've gotten to my lowest point and I can deal with a lot of shit but I have a breaking point. Worries, stress and traumatic memories eat away at my mind and leaves me barely functioning. I've dealt with many years of anxiety+depression and the veil has never lifted and I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. Some days are more tolerable than others, but lately it's getting really hard and I've lost trust in a lot of people - my therapist, psychiatrist, close friends and family. Nobody pays attention to me because I'm naturally quiet so if I kill myself I would slip by unnoticed.
Partial suspension is the way to go for me. I've had it in my mind for a while and I think I've perfected the technique.
It's ironic how I've known my "friends" for years yet I'm met with more sympathy and understanding on a website full of strangers.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, friend :( Just want you to know that you're not alone. I'm in a similar situation :(

It's ironic how I've known my "friends" for years yet I'm met with more sympathy and understanding on a website full of strangers.

I have thought this on a number of occasions since joining. It is quite sad :/

 

[Halo13]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I certainly agree with you though - talked with the most supportive, kind folks online yet no one IRL cares if I ctb. I sincerely hope you find the peace you're seeking

 

[Quiet_Sandwich]

I'm so very sorry to hear that this is what you're dealing with.

It does sound quite similar to my own situation ... and I know that I wouldn't wish this misery upon anyone. Hell, even your avatar hits close to home.
It's hearbreaking to see others reach this point. I'm sending tons of hugs your way . I sincerely hope that you'll find peace, no matter what path you choose.

I do very much agree on what everyone's saying about the community. I may not be too far from my own bus catching fun, but being here does bring a lot of solace and comfort. Knowing that people aren't just spouting useless bullshit phrases, but can actually understand what you're dealing with is a great thing indeed. I'm glad to be a part of this.

 

[throwaway123]

Please make sure you don't have a mental breakdown. If you're this close to CTB you know there are two paths. One is a mental breakdown and the other is death.
If you don't have a method available right away I suggest you try to calm down.

Mental breakdown is a commonly used word today but few people know it is literally hell on earth.

 

[Roger]

Mental breakdown is a commonly used word today but few people know it is literally hell on earth.

Do you feel able to tell us what to expect ?

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

How have you perfected the technique

 

[almost there ....]

I don't want to go off on a tangent and make this become a sob story, but basically life is getting unbearable. This is the closest I've gotten to my lowest point and I can deal with a lot of shit but I have a breaking point. Worries, stress and traumatic memories eat away at my mind and leaves me barely functioning. I've dealt with many years of anxiety+depression and the veil has never lifted and I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. Some days are more tolerable than others, but lately it's getting really hard and I've lost trust in a lot of people - my therapist, psychiatrist, close friends and family. Nobody pays attention to me because I'm naturally quiet so if I kill myself I would slip by unnoticed.
Partial suspension is the way to go for me. I've had it in my mind for a while and I think I've perfected the technique.
It's ironic how I've known my "friends" for years yet I'm met with more sympathy and understanding on a website full of strangers.

.... im sorry for your struggles .... I'm currently unable to function , and at my lowest point after a few years of isolation and free falling ... i really hope you can stay around for your people .... it's too late for me ... but it somehow helps me feel something when I read others messages ... I'm new here today .... I've been planning for my day ... bless all of you