jbear824
F*ck humanity. Let's end this.
- Jul 4, 2023
- 409
Just got back from a community resource center that more or less told us that housing is pretty hopeless right now. not only that, our local shelters are full.
So basically, me, my partner and my friend, my family or choice is basically fucked. Not only that, my friend's sister's will definitely, if it comes down to it, abandon me an my partner to the streets.
And now my only other friend is pissed at me because I'm upset about the fact that we have no options which basically means we're dead this winter when we freeze to death.
People are like "you're just catastrophizing" when likez this is literally happening to us and there is nothing we can do to stop it, yet I'm not allowed to be upset about the fact that me and the people I love are going to die in a very painful way.
The world doesn't care. People don't care. I don't want to abandon my loved ones, but it's the only way out of being homeless.
I've got some meds that interact with each other in a way where it will severely lower my blood pressure and heart rate, possibly causing it to stop. That's the best method I have available to me right now. And tbh I'm thinking of going into my bedroom, taking them all and then just lying down and hopefully die.
I really don't want to abandon my people. It breaks my heart that I might have to do that. But I don't want to suffer and freeze to death as a homeless person that no one cares about.
I can't believe this. My whole life has apparently been leading to this outcome. It's so awful to say and it makes me hate myself but I wish I could convince my partner to leave with me, so that we could both be free. If I leave by myself, my partner will suffer immensely until he also dies. All alone.
I've reached the end. I now just need the courage to let go of what's keeping me here so I can free myself from suffering. I wish I was never born.
So basically, me, my partner and my friend, my family or choice is basically fucked. Not only that, my friend's sister's will definitely, if it comes down to it, abandon me an my partner to the streets.
And now my only other friend is pissed at me because I'm upset about the fact that we have no options which basically means we're dead this winter when we freeze to death.
People are like "you're just catastrophizing" when likez this is literally happening to us and there is nothing we can do to stop it, yet I'm not allowed to be upset about the fact that me and the people I love are going to die in a very painful way.
The world doesn't care. People don't care. I don't want to abandon my loved ones, but it's the only way out of being homeless.
I've got some meds that interact with each other in a way where it will severely lower my blood pressure and heart rate, possibly causing it to stop. That's the best method I have available to me right now. And tbh I'm thinking of going into my bedroom, taking them all and then just lying down and hopefully die.
I really don't want to abandon my people. It breaks my heart that I might have to do that. But I don't want to suffer and freeze to death as a homeless person that no one cares about.
I can't believe this. My whole life has apparently been leading to this outcome. It's so awful to say and it makes me hate myself but I wish I could convince my partner to leave with me, so that we could both be free. If I leave by myself, my partner will suffer immensely until he also dies. All alone.
I've reached the end. I now just need the courage to let go of what's keeping me here so I can free myself from suffering. I wish I was never born.
