Help Im terrified of death and yet...

[deerme]

I don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm terrified of dying, the thought of *nothing* is terrifying to me. My mind cant understand it or even begin to wrap my head around it. It's terrifying.

Yet, I get so depressed every so often that nothing sounds so peaceful. I've attempted to ctb twice. I wasn't scared at all and only survived by luck. It's like I'm a completely different person. It's just so weird to explain. Are you guys like this to? Maybe im just s coward

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I don't understand what's wrong with me.

Everything you said made sense, please try not to worry. Many, many people are terrified of death. Fear of death, pain, the unknown, etc are normal and it's okay to be afraid.

It also makes sense that the idea of 'nothing' provides comfort in your darkest moments. It's an escape from your pain.

I've attempted to ctb twice. I wasn't scared at all and only survived by luck.

This was interesting. It sounds like you were very intent on completing your suicide. I've attempted twice, have come very close to attempting again a few times - I also recall not being afraid, because I was going to finally my pain and be at peace.

Noticed you are relatively new, so welcome to SS. I hope you can find what you are looking for during your time here.

 

[summers]

@moss Idk, I'm not afraid of dying or death. I know my consciousness will cease, but the atoms in my body will be around almost forever. You're not a coward at all. It's completely natural to be afraid of the unknown. I usually go by if you're afraid or uneasy, it's not the right time for you. Glad you made it through, and wish you all the best.

 

[fred farkle]

i dont want to die,but i dont want to live. thats why life is so terrible.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I understand at times I'd say I'd have a phobia of death. the thought can leave me in tears and is one reason why I HAVE to ctb. I can't stop death but I can control when it happens and sadly that's all I have.

 

[Somage]

After vast research I agree with the following regarding death, which I am soon to experience myself however I will not be able to report back unfortunately.

Before you were born and you existed there was nothing. Every moment before you are born it's all just zero because you didn't exist. Nobody remembers being a baby either or like 2 years old etc.

When you die your brain will show you some of your best and happiest times as it shuts off by activating the pineal gland to give you the best and most pleasing final gesture it can muster.