Venting I'm sure I have to do it now

[bluexapalooza]

I'm home for the first time in almost six months for the holiday weekend and I have never felt so distinctly out of place. Not because of anything anyone has done or said but because it all just feels wrong. Like I shouldn't be here. Like I'm an imposter. I've been throwing a January 25th date around in my head for quite some time but I feel like this is the final solidifier that it needs to happen. I need to fix whatever I've done to myself and the people around me. I've always felt out of place but never to this extent. I had breakfast with my family and all I could think about is how it wasn't right for some inexplicable reason. I can't keep going. I have to protect everyone else from me