Venting I'm such a shitty person

[JJ53]

For my entire life, I have felt empty and numb, on and off. It sometimes feels as though I have undergone complete personality changes. Last week, I entered a new relationship with someone, full of love, happiness, and joy. Tomorrow, I plan on breaking up with them. Yeah, I know. But deep down, that's who I am - selfish and emotionless. I wish I was capable of maintaining a relationship, maintaining emotions, and maintaining a stable self. I know this is going to hurt them, as they had made plans to move closer to me, which I assume they are going to cancel now. Moving forward, I am going to stay single for the rest of my life. Although I am only 21, I am pretty confident in my decision. It's the only way I won't continue to hurt anyone.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I feel similarly. Empty and numb, my consciousness is so fragmented that my personality changes whenever it wants. So I'm unable to maintain relationships.
I don't think you're a bad person for this. You're breaking up with them instead of lying about your feelings. I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you the best

 

[JJ53]

I feel similarly. Empty and numb, my consciousness is so fragmented that my personality changes whenever it wants. So I'm unable to maintain relationships.
I don't think you're a bad person for this. You're breaking up with them instead of lying about your feelings. I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you the best

Thank you :)

 

[null_blank]

Relationships are hard.

One of the most difficult is the one we have with ourselves.

I hope you give yourself the time and patience to figure you out c:

 

[Soupster]

Relationships are definitely hard, but this one has some red flags anyways. Anyone willing to move to be closer to you after a week of dating is a bit concerning. They are running from something, not running towards you.

As to staying single for the rest of your life, it's not a choice I would make, but it works for some people. One of my childhood best friends has been single for over 20 years since high school and has no regrets.

 

[JJ53]

Relationships are hard.

One of the most difficult is the one we have with ourselves.

I hope you give yourself the time and patience to figure you out c:

I appreciate the kind words :)

Relationships are definitely hard, but this one has some red flags anyways. Anyone willing to move to be closer to you after a week of dating is a bit concerning. They are running from something, not running towards you.

As to staying single for the rest of your life, it's not a choice I would make, but it works for some people. One of my childhood best friends has been single for over 20 years since high school and has no regrets.

Yeah, I agree. It feels as though he is latching onto me in order to avoid things. I still haven't broken up with him; I don't know the right words to say, but how will I ever know? I have to do it very soon. His flight is next Wednesday. I feel an immense amount of pressure and guilt.