Help I'm split between doing things good and hitting rock bottom.

[microwaved_dawg]

For the most part the semester hasn't been that bad, I've been getting good grades so far, maybe it's the motivation of starting a new semester or the fact that I don't go out anymore, I don't skip classes and generally I don't speak to anyone after my old "friends" don't even acknowledge my existence. I'm mostly just existing, pressing forward, sometimes trying to do better in life, I even get happy when the grades come and It makes me feel eager to keep improving, of working towards a bigger goal. However sometimes I just get this "call of the void" so to speak, I sometimes just get this intrusive need to hit rock bottom, I'm not in a particularly good place now and I feel just so close that I might say "fuck it" and just go with it. I've been neglecting myself lately, refusing to eat, drink or sleep just laying on my bed rotting or wasting my time on horror videogames that might obfuscate the horror that my life is currently.

What should I do?, thanks in advance to everyone.

 

[foggyskies_]

Oh man, I feel you. The "call of the void" feels like the perfect name for this kind of thing.

Maybe you could try quenching those urges with something that won't absolutely destroy your life but still gets out the feelings? The horror games seems like a good outlet. Even if it seems like a time waster, we all need times to let go. I don't think the urges ever fully go away (at least, I haven't figured out how) but we have to find positive outlets to quiet them, even if a bit reckless. Scream in your room, draw violent art, write down all the things you wish would happen to yourself until you can calm down, something like that.... Good luck!!

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

For the most part the semester hasn't been that bad, I've been getting good grades so far, maybe it's the motivation of starting a new semester or the fact that I don't go out anymore, I don't skip classes and generally I don't speak to anyone after my old "friends" don't even acknowledge my existence. I'm mostly just existing, pressing forward, sometimes trying to do better in life, I even get happy when the grades come and It makes me feel eager to keep improving, of working towards a bigger goal. However sometimes I just get this "call of the void" so to speak, I sometimes just get this intrusive need to hit rock bottom, I'm not in a particularly good place now and I feel just so close that I might say "fuck it" and just go with it. I've been neglecting myself lately, refusing to eat, drink or sleep just laying on my bed rotting or wasting my time on horror videogames that might obfuscate the horror that my life is currently.

What should I do?, thanks in advance to everyone.

Hmm. Tough one. Okay so I have a lot of experience with not feeling like eating. Eat anyway. Force yourself. It will be much worse if you don't eat. Starvation mode is not a joke. Carnation Essentials or fatty/protein liquid calories are good (not soda), if you don't feel like you can stomach full food. Or a lot of milk, maybe protein drinks.

Okay. Sleep is disrupted. That will destroy everything. All your cornerstones are rubbish. Those need to be fixed before anything. That will make anyone say fuck it. That is your cornerstone to health. It is literally everything.

First thing in the morning, go outside and get sunlight into your eyes. This sets the circadian rhythm. Make sure you stay up the whole day. Ideally, a first thing in the morning walk would be best.

Additionally, seeing bright screens from 10pm to 4am is extraordinarily disruptive to sleep. Don't do that. If you must, use dim mode + blue light blocker app on your phone.

You're a college student, so you're probably consuming excessive amounts of caffeine. Awesome, pound that shit, brother. Wait, no, fuck. Wrong thing. Sorry, also a college student who loves caffeine, and I got ahead of myself. Cut that shit out. Or at least dial it back to earlier in the day. It will destroy your sleep, as well.

Your priorities as a human should be:
SLEEP 7-9 hours with an 80% success rate.
NUTRITION: You can't drive a car that doesn't have any fuel
EXERCISE: Your blood needs to move around to clean out all the bullshit in your brain

Once you get those handled, you can start thinking about other things.

Good luck. And congratulations on the good grades! Keep up the good work! but don't keep fucking up your health! >:(

 

[microwaved_dawg]

Hmm. Tough one. Okay so I have a lot of experience with not feeling like eating. Eat anyway. Force yourself. It will be much worse if you don't eat. Starvation mode is not a joke. Carnation Essentials or fatty/protein liquid calories are good (not soda), if you don't feel like you can stomach full food. Or a lot of milk, maybe protein drinks.

Okay. Sleep is disrupted. That will destroy everything. All your cornerstones are rubbish. Those need to be fixed before anything. That will make anyone say fuck it. That is your cornerstone to health. It is literally everything.

First thing in the morning, go outside and get sunlight into your eyes. This sets the circadian rhythm. Make sure you stay up the whole day. Ideally, a first thing in the morning walk would be best.

Additionally, seeing bright screens from 10pm to 4am is extraordinarily disruptive to sleep. Don't do that. If you must, use dim mode + blue light blocker app on your phone.

You're a college student, so you're probably consuming excessive amounts of caffeine. Awesome, pound that shit, brother. Wait, no, fuck. Wrong thing. Sorry, also a college student who loves caffeine, and I got ahead of myself. Cut that shit out. Or at least dial it back to earlier in the day. It will destroy your sleep, as well.

Your priorities as a human should be:
SLEEP 7-9 hours with an 80% success rate.
NUTRITION: You can't drive a car that doesn't have any fuel
EXERCISE: Your blood needs to move around to clean out all the bullshit in your brain

Once you get those handled, you can start thinking about other things.

Good luck. And congratulations on the good grades! Keep up the good work! but don't keep fucking up your health! >:(

I really cannot thank you enough, this was both really informative and motivational. I kind of want to get my shit together and it's really hard, so every bit of help I get is really appreciated. Thanks a ton man. I'll try to follow your advice and stop neglecting myself (may be a good Idea because I feel like shit lol) and outletting those urges on something else like @foggyskies_ mentioned.

Have a good night.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I really cannot thank you enough, this was both really informative and motivational. I kind of want to get my shit together and it's really hard, so every bit of help I get is really appreciated. Thanks a ton man. I'll try to follow your advice and stop neglecting myself (may be a good Idea because I feel like shit lol) and outletting those urges on something else like @foggyskies_ mentioned.

Have a good night.

For sure mate. I'm happy to help. I'll be gone soon, so you carry the torch for all of us and make sure to take care of yourself proper. :) We're counting on you.

And yeah for sure. Froggy had some good tips.

You have a good night too.